thin walls / calum hood

2.5

Calum

He didn't expect her to visit him. Calum wouldn't blame her if she chose not to. After everything that had happened, it wouldn't surprise him if she never wanted to talk to him again. Somewhere, though, at the very pit of his stomach, there was a little knot telling him that he did care and that he wished she would.

Luke called Ashton and not long after he'd woken up, and the three had hung out in the hospital room until Calum was allowed to go home. It was the most silent Calum had ever seen them. They barely even moved, and when they spoke it was with their heads hanging low.

"It's my own fault," Calum said. "I did it to myself."

"I just feel so guilty," Luke mumbled.

"Me too. We're really sorry. Mikey too, but he thought you were mad at him so that's why he's not here."

Calum frowned. "She lied to me. She said they're together. That's not true, right?"

✿      ✿    ✿

A few days had gone since the hospital had let Calum go. His mother was still looking at him with worry in her eyes, as if each time she left for work might be the last time she'd see him, and she was crying at night. It was like he was imprisoned by sadness. Calum was sort of feeling better, although the embarrassment of his friends and family seeing him in that state had scarred him for life.

Calum was forced to go a shrink to talk about the why. There was no way he'd admit to his virgin problems, so they had deemed his sadness as depression. According to his mum Luke, Ashton and Michael were a bad influence and might once again trigger him to self-destructive behaviour. He was no longer allowed to hang out with them. It was bullshit, and the loneliness only made him sadder.

He cuddled the puppy in his arms closer, pushing his nose into the fluffy neck. She made a noise, looking up at him as if to tell him he was being clingy.

"It's you and me now, Feds."

The knock on the door made the little ball of fur bark loudly. Calum jumped, not only at the sound of her loud howls but also because maybe, just maybe, the person he had wished to see was finally there.

He was right. Her golden hair caught the rays from the window, looking as if on fire. "I see you've got company already," she said, looking at the dog he was holding. "I didn't know you had a puppy."

"This is Fedora." He put the dog down, and she circled around his legs, looking for attention. "It's my shrink's. They say taking care of her will get my mind off of being self-destructive and depressed, so I'm kinda just dog sitting, I guess," he said honestly, having found that being truthful was his best option.

"She's cute." She looked up at him, eyes staying on his for a few seconds.

Calum would have told Hayley that so was she, but bit back his words.

"How are you feeling?" she asked, her voice lean and careful as she danced around the touchy subject.

"Lonely. Why do you care?" Calum sighed at her question. It seemed to be the only thing people wondered. "My mum won't let me see the guys anymore. Thinks I'm suicidal and that I'll do it again."

"Would you?" Her eyes stuck to the floor.

It hurt that he had lost trust; not only did his mother no longer trust him to hang out with his friends, but Hayley seemed wary. He hadn't really seen her in what seemed like ages and even from the hospital bed, he'd watched her leave. She was inching away, making the already large gap between them even greater.

"No. Those were the worst hours of my life," he said, wishing she would believe him.

She sat down on the sofa, cross-legged and her back against the armrest. "When did you become so reckless?"

"When I met you." Calum sat down as well, lifting the puppy to shield his face. The blush was going to show soon, he could feel it heating up his face. He hadn't felt shy in a while, but somehow she made him all nervous again. "I, um, never got to say thanks for helping me, by the way."

"I just don't understand why you did it."

"I guess I've done things I regret lately." Calum's head dipped, he couldn't even look her in the eyes, so he just faced away. The dog jumped down to the floor. Maybe she felt the mood drop as well.

"Like?"

"You know what I mean," he trembled.

"Fucking some girl you met at party?"

"I guess I should have listened to what you said," he mumbled. "You were right."

"About what?"

"About sex. There honestly are so many things that are better."

"Going out at stupid o'clock to see the sun rise. Having ice cream in bed," she said, her lip jutting slightly as she thought of more things to add to her list. "Pretending to be ill so you can skip school."

"You're much too cool for me." A smile formed on his dry lips. "What about singing songs and dancing 'round the lounge? Is that one on there as well?" He laughed, remembering how she used to sing to the songs playing frequently on the radio. Sure, he'd found it annoying sometimes but it was her thing and it was sort of cute. He missed hearing her voice.

Calum hadn't laughed in a while. It felt nice.

"Ugh, rude." She was rolling her eyes, but Calum saw the smile resting at the corner of her mouth.

"Sorry," he said. "I do miss my daily chart update, though. Honest."

Hayley rolled her eyes at him once again, but before she could say anything else, he moved closer to her. Her eyes darted from his eyes to his lips and Calum's did the same. Her lips were soft and slightly glossed, and Calum felt the urge to kiss them.

So he did. He reached for her chin, fingers moving over the pale skin as his lips touched hers in a kiss he would never forget. And then she pushed him away.

"What about her?"

"It will be fine, I swear." Lies, because he hadn't completely ended whatever it was with Alyssa. Not yet. But he would. "Stay here tonight and watch a film with me? We can order pizza and have ice cream?"

"You've taken those from my list," she accused, but smiled before pressing her lips against his once more. "How original."

"I try."

There was a buzz and Hayley reached into her back pocket, pulling her phone out. Calum knew he probably shouldn't be, but he was too curious not to let his eyes wander. The display said Mikey. Hayley pressed ignore, and there was a breath hitching in Calum's chest.

She'd picked him over Michael.

-

when people like each other and pick up on things the other person says

and they just kinda say the same things and its cute and im sobbing

who wants to dog sit puppies with calum?

who's feeling bad for michael? i cry.

DID U SEE THE LIVE LOUNGE AND MIKEYS NEW RED HAIR OH MY GOD.

~lauren