C S I (UNDER EDITING)

Chapter 25 - Walls

Lauren's POV
It's been a quiet week so far. A week since the relapse with Jack, and a week of relapses and mistakes. I've done it 3 times this week. Even the folks at the lab can tell. Every time I do it, every inch that blade digs in, Emily's words ring in my head and for a second, I'm back. But not for long. "Lauren, earth to Lauren." Nick calls out. "Oh, Hay. What's up?" I come back to reality, standing in the empty break room. "You okay? You don't look so good." He worries. "I'm fine. Just exhausted." I brush it off. "I know a lie when I see one and it's not exhaustion." He persists. "I promise, I'm just tired that's all." I continue to lie. Little did I know, my battered body would give me away. "Lauren, Oh my god! Your arm!" Nick panics. The blood seeps through my sleeve, dripping onto the metal floor. "Here, let me see." Nick sits me down before I faint. "Wait! No!" He pulls up my sleeves despite my protests and unwraps the hastily wrapped bandages. An awkward silence hangs in the room. Nick just sits there, unable to think of something worthy to say in a delicate situation such as this. And me, as I contemplate on my choice of lying to them. "Um...h...how long?" He whispers. "...since I was 15..." I reply in a low voice. "I can't even begin to imagine..." He sighs. "What you must be going through..." for a while, we just sit there as he presses the bandages down to stop the bleeding and I get lost in the delicate feel of his touch on my skin. He looks deep into my eyes, a sort of sad comfort conveyed. "How about we get these treated before they become infected?" He offers gently. I nod wordlessly. He leads us up the emergency stairway and into an abandoned office on the second floor with a first aid kit in hand. I sit patiently while he diligently and delicately cleans, and bandages my cuts.

Nick's POV
I finally work up the courage to speak. "Lauren...these are fresh. When did this happen?" I ask slowly. "This morning." She answers, head bent in shame. "Hay...no need to be ashamed. We all have our demons. I'm just here to help." I comfort. "Thanks, I guess..." She mutters, barely audible.

Lauren's POV
For some reason, the dam breaks as he says that, "I'm just here to help." All that anger, all the self resentment just boils over so much, it spilled. Nick takes me into his arms as my desperate sobs fill the room and just holds my shaky body. "It's okay..." He whispers soothingly. For quite some time, the only thing heard on the near-deserted second floor were distant cries and a few soothing words in between if you listened carefully. The lab back downstairs, unaware went on with their work. "I'm here now. It's gonna be okay." Nick assures me. I take a few deep breathes to calm me down. I feel numb again and the tears stop as suddenly as they began. "I'm sorry. That shouldn't have happened." I collect myself and disappear back downstairs to start work.

Nick's POV
"Lauren Wait!" I call out but before I can stop her, she's gone. Packing up the mess I made and the remnants of the first aid kit hastily, I run downstairs. "Lauren, Wait!" I stop her before she heads back down to the lab. "Hay, look at me." I request gently. "I only want to help." I offer. "I'll be fine on my own." She mutters before disappearing. "Let me help. Why won't you let me help?" I persist. "I'll be fine Nick. Leave me be." She mutters, pulling her arm out of my grasp and heading to the break room. "What do we have Grissom?" She asks. As usual, Gris hands out assignments, pairing me up with himself, Sara with Warrick and Cath with Lauren. "Cath, can I talk to you for a second?" I pull Catherine aside before she leaves. "Sure, what's up?" She nods. "It's Lauren. I'm not sure she's in the right head space to be at work. I tried talking her out of it but she won't listen. Look out for her would you?" I request. "Sure, what's going on?" She nods before asking. "She...She um..." I point to my arms, making cutting motions. "Oh my god..." Catherine gasps. "Don't tell her I told you. Just look out for her. If you think she's not doing okay, send her to the lab." I suggest. "Sure, I'll make sure she's okay." She agrees. "Thanks." I nod before we head to our crime scenes.

Catherine's POV
"Hay, let's go." I nod. "So uh, how was your weekend?" I ask. "Not much. Just caught up on some sleep." She answers simply. I drive us to the crime scene. An awkward silence hangs over us as we pass the blinking casinos and strip clubs. I watch as she rubs her arms almost as if she knows I know. "You doing okay Lauren?" I finally ask. "I'm fine." She flashes me a forced smile. "Have you taken any vacation days since you got here?" I suggest. "Who knows? Might be good for you." "I'm fine Catherine. Don't worry about me." She almost snaps. "I'm sorry...I didn't mean to snap but I don't need people asking me if I'm okay everyday." She apologises immediately. "It's okay. And we only ask because we're concerned." I accept. "Don't be. I'm perfectly fine. Let's get to work." She states before jumping out once we arrive. "Brass, what do we have?" She asks. "Girl lives alone. Neighbour wanted to check in on her since she hadn't seen her leave the house for a few days, finds this." He explains as he guides us inside. "Wow..." I whistle. "It's bloodbath." Doc Robbins sighs. "Who has this much aggression?" I wonder out loud. "After this long on the job, nothing surprises me anymore." Brass mutters, brows furrowed. "I'm with you there." Lauren agrees. "I guess I live with a bit more optimism for the human species than you lot." I huff. "TOD and COD doc?" I ask. "TOD looks to be about a week ago according to liver temp and lividly." He answers. "But COD is a little more complicated. I won't know conclusively till I get her back to the morgue." He finishes. He and his techs wheel out the body. "I'll check the bedroom." Lauren suggests. "I got living room." I agree.