BTS 8th member;

Chapter 2 - Regret

After dinner, me and Namjoon moved into his room that he shared with Jin. It was only the two of us there. I sat on his bed while he sat on his chair.

"Did I do something wrong?" was the first thing that I've said before we started. He smiled with his dimples showing, "Ani, nothing. It's mostly about your well-being." he said with a sigh, thinking of how to start.

I felt myself getting nervous at what was gonna come my way now. And after he thought about it, he looked straight to my eyes which caused the atmosphere tense, "Since you're the only girl in the group, I figured it might be hard to sometimes open up because there is no one who could at least feel the things you do as a girl." he started which made me worried about which direction this was going, "So I just hope that you have someone who you can open to. It doesn't have to be me, but any other member is fine." he said, getting serious.

I sighed: "Joon, I understand your worry, thank you for looking out for me.. But I don't think I could open up... Is it answers you want?" I felt myself getting upset which was a bad sign for my side.

My anxiety was starting to show now of all times, I felt pretty stupid. "Kyungie, you kn–" before he could say anything I felt tears well up in my eyes together with panic rising inside of me, "No, I'm sorry for overreacting!" I said with a panicked voice which made me feel even more pathetic as tears started to slip down my cheeks.

Namjoon looked troubled and guilty, "I'm sorry for making you cry, I really didn't mean to.. What's wrong?" he asked with a concerned look as he sat down beside me.

"I'm sorry.. It's a thing from the past.. The self-blame has been with me since childhood.." I explained as I sobbed into my hands. He wrapped his arm around me protectively and hugged me, "It's nothing to be sorry about.. I don't see you any differently if that is what you fear.." he said with a gentle voice to reassure me and calm me down.

"I know I'm the only member you guys know almost nothing about.. But I just fear that if I open up, you all will see me differently.." I hugged him as I sobbed to his chest now. "Kyungie.. You're part of the family here. No one will judge you for anything.. We all accepted things about other members and look at them not caring if Jimin used to be 'fat', and stuff." he explained which really helped me to calm down.

I looked up at him to meet his concerned, yet very soothing gaze. I smiled to myself: "Aishh.. I'm sorry for crying...." I said as I quickly wiped my tears, "It's alright to cry sometimes. And also, I truly care for you and others. It's not a must, it's a thing that I personally want to do." he smiled which made me hug him affectionately, "Thank you, Joonie." I said with a low voice, loud enough for him to hear.

"It's absolutely alright.. I've got to know something new about you." he said with satisfaction which made me smile, "Alright, you're free to go. We'll continue this someday else." he explained as he stood up and went to open the door for me.

I stood up from the bed and headed towards the opened door. Before exiting the room, I looked at Namjoon, "You're a really great leader, you know that?" I said which made him chuckle, "I'm trying." he answered simply, "Well, you don't have to even try." I said as I turned back and headed to Yoongi's and mine bedroom.

Everyone was in their room now, sleeping except for Jin who was in kitchen, doing dishes. I heard the plates tackle against each other which made me change my direction. I headed to Jin to help him out, "Need help?" I asked which made him look at me. He smiled, "You don't have to, it's almost done." he answered as he turned his attention back to the dishes. I approached him from behind as I started to wipe the wet dish.

He let out a sigh which was soon replaced with a big smile, "How did it go?" he asked out of curiousity. I felt myself tense up a bit, "It went okay.. But.." I paused for a second which made Jin look at me worriedly, "But?" he peered into my face. I groaned while remembering what kind of scene I've put up in front of Namjoon. I lied my arms and head on the kitchen counter in order to hide my sight at least while facing floor. Jin looked really worried as he stopped the running water and leaned towards me, "What happened?" he stroked my back soothingly.

As I lifted my head to tell him, he was so close, so close as we have never been which made us both pause at everything. I then broke out into a smile as I stepped back, "I'm sorry." I started to giggle while he also giggled even though I've seen him blushing, probably at the surprise.

"I've put a horrible scene in front of Namjoon, Jin..." I facepalmed myself which made him stare at me for a while, "Don't worry, Kyungie.. You're the only one thinking about it I bet." he said.

"He's right." Namjoon spoke up from the door frame which made us both look up, "Eavesdropping, really, Kim Namjoon?" said Jin while we both bursted into laughter. It made me smile from the bottom of my heart.

We talked for a bit more together, but then we all called it a night. This time I headed to Yoongi's and mine bedroom. When I opened the door slowly and quietly, I noticed Yoongi was still up.

When I got near my bed, I felt myself plop on the bed and sigh in exhaustion. "You okay?" he asked with a soft voice. I hummed in response, "I'm so tired..." I said as I closed my eyes. "Then go to sleep." he said, but it was too late for me. I was too comfortable now, so I refused to move.

"Goodnight." I said which made him look at me, "Goodnight, Kyu." he said as he turned on the other side, his back facing me.

Even though he seemed to be cold on the surface, on the inside, he had the warmest heart anyone could ever imagine. Some would say that this cold-blooded boy would never show affection, but he did - through his actions.

In the end, I regretted that I haven't opened up to Yoongi yet since he was here for me since the beginning. He was giving me my own space, believing that my pace was slow, yet he never pressured it which I loved him for.

After I was half-asleep again, he got up from his bed to cover me with my blanket and then headed back to his bed.

"Sweet dreams." he said with a gentle voice. "You too.." I managed to mumble before falling asleep completely.