Willfully Blind

CHAPTER 24 Calm Yourself

"What's Tangie been up to? How'd you guys meet up?"

"She was just in the area and stopped by for a minute. By the way, you took my cell phone when you left earlier." Lisa walked over to Dirk and handed him his phone. She avoided his eyes as she stood there with her hand extended for her phone. Dirk handed Lisa her phone and she turned and walked towards the stairs.

"Oh yeah, you got a call while I was out, by the way."

"Okay..." Lisa looked over her shoulder just as she reached the first stair.

"Who was it?"

"Somebody named Judy... from Apex." Dirk leaned back against the kitchen counter, crossed one leg over the other. He unlocked his phone, promptly perusing his call history.

"You know Apex, the apartment search people?" he said, eyes buried in his phone.

"Um-hum." Lisa was trying to downplay it but wasn't sure how much Dirk knew. She was not ready to talk to him about it. Certainly not tonight. If she was going to keep a clear perspective on what was best for her, she couldn't allow Dirk to pull her into a back and forth and start rethinking the direction she was heading in. Plus, she really needed to turn in early to try to catch up on her sleep.

Dirk scrolled through his call history. He hadn't missed any calls but noticed in his outgoing call history that Lisa had managed to make a call while she was in possession of his phone.

"Well, what did she say?" Lisa asked, after standing there watching Dirk play with his cell phone.

"So, apparently, you're in luck. They did manage to find an apartment near downtown in the price range you were looking for. Whose number is 665-5328?"

"Tangie's — look, Dirk, before you blow this way out of proportion, you need to know I had every intention of sitting down with you and having a conversation before making any final decisions."

Dirk sprang away from the counter, staring at Lisa, shaking his head. Here she was making plans to move out all the while refusing to try to rectify things between the two of them.

"I left work early to come home and talk to you and try to resolve this bullshit, but you decided you wanna play games!" Dirk slammed the back of his right hand into his left palm like he always did when he was either upset or passionately trying to make a point.

"Excuse me? So, because I'm genuinely exhausted, I'm somehow playing games? Really? At what point do you understand that the world doesn't revolve around you and your little timetables?"

"Oh, you're not playin' games, Lisa? You ain't playing games? Well, tell me why in the hell did you tell me Tangie just stopped by out of the blue, but according to my phone history, you called her. You called her over here, Lisa? What, was she planning on helping you pack?" Dirk stood ranting and raving like he had caught her cheating.

"Dirk, if you don't stop barking at me like a mad dog, I promise you this conversation will end right now! I haven't done anything wrong, so stop with the reverse psychology, flip the script bull. Not that it's any of your business, but Tangie came over here because I was upset and needed her support."

"Support for what, Lisa?" he asked, more calmly, but with the same degree of fervor.

"When I tried to offer you support, you opted to take a nap. Games, Lisa...silly ass little games. You want me to grow up? You may want to try it yourself."

Whether it was Dirk's instances in accusing her of playing games, the emotional strain of the pregnancy scare, or maybe it was the audacity he had to stand there flinging insults at her. Whatever the final straw was, Lisa blurted out something she had been taught as a child never to say.

"I hate you, Dirk. You know that?" The composure of which she spoke the words was eerie.

"You have done nothing but bring me heartache since this relationship started. I should have never called you back after we broke up; shoulda ran while the getting was good instead of re-engaging in a relationship with someone who would ultimately manage to stay stuck in his college hay days, almost ten years later. Since you're so concerned about Tangie's visit, she came over here to be with me while I took a pregnancy test."

"A pregnancy test?" Dirk leaned backed on the counter and looked Lisa up and down.

"Yeah... a frickin' pregnancy test!" Lisa said, now in his face.

"I needed a mature adult to be with me because I didn't want to be alone when I found out that I had messed around and gotten pregnant by your sorry ass!"

"Well, are you?" He was stung by her anger and insults but was now focused on finding out if she was carrying his baby. Later with the insults. He needed to know.

"Well, are you?" Lisa mocked. "Asked the fool who's been dragging his feet for years; the one refusing to step up to the plate, the one refusing to stop acting like a boy and make a real commitment." Glaring at him, she was ready to say anything she ever wanted to say but thought it may have been too harsh. Now she understood what Tangie meant when she described the feeling of despising the person you love.

Dirk stared into Lisa's fuming eyes. There was so much resentment there, so much anger. He had put her through a lot and understood her anger. And the thought of a baby...was he ready to be a father? It hadn't ever really crossed his mind. He was just having a good time, and she was using an IUD or the pill or whatever it was. He hadn't bothered staying abreast of the birth control she used. He just knew she took care of it.

"Are you, Lisa?" he inquired again, tone softened and frustration vanished.

Lisa turned and walked back towards the stairs. Dirk, following on her heels, caught up with her just as she reached the stairs and grabbed her arm.

"All bullshit aside, Lisa," he blurted.

Lisa snatched away from him and quickly headed up the stairs.

"No, I'm not, okay! Thank God." Dirk watched her climb the stairs and seconds later heard the guest bedroom door slam closed.

Dirk knew he should have said something but had no idea what. He flopped down on the couch, releasing a huge breath.

"What the hell!" he belted. His day had started with such potential but had gone steadily downhill. Still shaken, he called Courtney. His rational frat brother with all the answers.