Willfully Blind

CHAPTER 30 Get a Clue

It didn't take long for Dirk, who was initially dismissive about Courtney's innuendos, to start worrying about what he was pretty sure Courtney was trying to suggest. Daryn had probably sworn him to secrecy, which was likely why he was so conscientiously vague. Dirk tried not to give it too much thought, hoping if it were something dire, Court would have put him in the loop.

"Yeah, he wouldn't leave his boy out there like that," Dirk said, aloud. But then again, maybe the hint was his heads up to how serious things were. Either way, the mere implication of Lisa moving out of town was troubling to his soul. He had to at least admit that to himself.

Sitting on the bed in what had become known as his bedroom, Dirk had his laptop open, pretty much torturing himself. An hour later, he still hadn't gotten any work done and was thankful to hear the sound of an incoming text message interrupting his wandering thoughts. He slammed the laptop closed and grabbed his cellphone. It was a text message from his uncle.

"Hey, neph, it's Uncle Ray checking up on you. Haven't heard from you in a while."

Damn. With everything going on with Lisa, Dirk hadn't spoken to his favorite uncle or his mother for that matter, in close to three weeks. Dirk called him right back.

"Hey, Uncle Ray. It's Dirk."

"Well, hey there. What you up to?"

"Not much. Just sitting around." Now back in the kitchen, Dirk broke down and opened the case of water throwing half the pack in the fridge. He slammed the door shut, shaking his head.

"Why don't you come on by your mother's? She cooked dinner and would like to lay eyes on you. I'll wait around for you if you're coming."

"Alright, I'll swing by." Hell, why not. Lisa wouldn't be making dinner — another thing he missed about their estrangement — so it would be a definite win. He could visit with his mom, check in with his uncle, and have a home-cooked meal. It was a triple win.

Dirk took a quick shower and headed out, taking notice of the closed guest room door. She was not budging. He headed towards the carport to his car, thinking about how long their estrangement had lasted. Was it his stupid pride keeping him from just approaching her again about what he was feeling? Maybe it was. With the last attempt resulting in him being snubbed, who wouldn't be.

No sooner than Dirk arrived at his mother's house, he realized how much he'd missed her. And her food. Especially her food. Always a phenomenal cook, she'd made salmon croquettes. One of his favorites. After dinner, Dirk headed into the den, kicked his shoes off, and collapsed onto the couch. Feet resting atop the coffee table, he rapidly flicked through channels. As always, his mom made him feel appreciated and loved.

It was all good until she casually asked about Lisa. Without warning, things went bad. The mistake he'd made was not just giving the standard, "Oh, she's good" reply. But with being in a relaxed space, he disclosed that they had been going through some things. He knew enough not to elaborate, but it didn't matter. He said more than he should have and it was plenty to give his mother the opportunity to pounce on him.

"You know son, you've always been oblivious to a good thing when you see it."

"Why are you assuming it's me, Ma?"

Ignoring his question, Dirk's mother continued.

"Lisa is a good girl and has been dedicated and patient with you for a long time, Dirk. And knowing my son as well as I do, I'm sure she's put up with a lot of your childish ways for far too long."

"Okay, but Ma, come on. Your son's no slouch either. Lisa's lucky to have such a handsome, educated, charming brother like me."

Dirk popped the nonexistent collar on his t-shirt. His mother, unamused, shook her head.

"It's not a joke, Dirk. You have this vainglorious perception of your value in your relationship with Lisa. You may want to take that in small measure, son," she said, sounding like the educator she was.

"Being charming and arrogant may have worked in college, but those days are long gone."

"Ma, I'm not arrogant. I'm confident. Weren't you the one who taught me the importance of being confident? Now it's a bad thing?"

"Of course not, Dirk. You know that's not what I'm saying, son. What I'm trying to get you to see is, there is a thin line between confidence and conceit and your attitude suggest you may be flirting dangerously close to the latter. Which may be why you seem to think Lisa's gonna put up with your foolishness forever."

So much for feeling loved and appreciated. His mother managed to pile onto the stress he was already feeling.

She'd started with how wrong it was to string Lisa along and not make a real commitment to her. Next came God's displeasure with him shacking up. That was obviously the deaconess speaking. But the harshest moment came when she revealed she felt embarrassed to have to tell her friends, their family, and even her church members that he was still living with his "girlfriend" after close to six years.

"Why would you feel ashamed about my choices? I'm a grown man, taking care of myself and making my own decisions. Why would you let someone make you feel bad about something you have no control over?"

"It has probably never occurred to you, but I'm sure people think I haven't raised you to do what's right. And can you say you blame them? How would you like it if someone treated your little sister that way; like she wasn't worthy of matrimony? Some guy just stringing her along." She knew bringing up his little sister was a sensitive spot for him. He sometimes worried about someone taking advantage of Raven, now a sophomore in college. He wouldn't hesitate to hop in the car take a road trip to Michigan State.

"You'd be ready to have a fit. It's like I've always said, Dirk, crap or get off the toilet."

And his uncle agreed, encouraging Dirk not to allow this girl to get away.

By the time Dirk left for home, he was annoyed. He drove to the condo in silence, mulling over his mother's words. Unlike anyone else, she had the gift of getting into his head.

He walked into the apartment and scanned the room. No Lisa. He knew he could never stay there without her, and there she was with one foot out the door already. He was going to have to do something in a hurry. Something to get her to stay. As to what, he had no idea.

That night it became even clearer that the issue was weighing heavy on him by his dream. He and Lisa were loading her truck with luggage, getting ready to go on some kind of trip. He'd gone back into the condo to grab his jacket and after locking the door, he turned around and saw Lisa pulling away. He called out to her over and over again, but she kept driving until she was out of sight.

He woke with a start, glad to find that it was a dream. Rattled, he got up to get a bottle of water. On the way back, he peeked in on Lisa sleeping soundly, something for the duration of them living together she couldn't do. As a matter of fact, whenever he went out of town, she would sleep on the sofa with the television on throughout the night. That's what she'd told him, anyway. He was bothered by how she seemed to really be adjusting to sleeping without him. Dirk rolled his shoulders and cracked his neck.