Can't Help Myself (Grown UPS)

Deer Morning

Mornings in the Feder house weren't always crazy, but today it had gotten to a new level. Nate woke up to the sound of screaming from in the hallway. Turning his head, he looked over at his sleeping girlfriend, who had been staying with him for a few weeks.

She had found out from her father that she has a younger brother that not even he knew about. The information wouldn't have been as bad, but he had known for months before he actually told her. Marcus and Emerson didn't keep secrets from each other.

"What the hell is with the screaming?" Emerson groaned, sitting up and rubbing the sleep from her eyes.

"I'm not sure." Nate sighed, pushing his covers off his body and stood up, Emerson following his actions.

Opening the bedroom door, Emerson squealed as a deer ran passed the door. Nate wrapped his arms around her waist, both of them poking their heads out the door.

"No way! Can I ride it?!" Keithie exclaimed once he opened his door.

Keithie and Lenny threw clothes baskets at the deer and it shocked him for a moment before he ran again. Then they suddenly heard Roxanne scream and then Greg.

"A deer!" Becky cried out in excitement.

The deer ran downstairs and everyone, minus Greg who was wrapping a towel around his waist, followed after it.

"Daddy, I left the door open in case any animals wanted to come in." Becky told Lenny.

"You did, huh?" He asked.

"I did!"

"Yeah, one crazy-ass one!" Emerson and Keithie exclaimed.

"Language!" Roxanne hissed.

"Oh, no, you did a good thing, sweetheart." Lenny told her. "Greg, I'm gonna need a bat!"

"Daddy, no!" Becky yelled.

"No, I'm not going to hit the deer, I'm just going to...massage it's head with it for a little bit."

"I don't have time for this." Emerson mumbled against her boyfriends shoulder.

Greg came downstairs and they discovered that the deer liked Becky's monkey.

"Give me that thing." Lenny snapped his fingers to his youngest daughter.

"Mr. Gigglesworth?" Becky asked.

"Don't worry. Put it in my hand." Lenny told her, "Roxanne, take them in there. Over there."

Roxanne moved them to the dinning room.

"Hey, dude. Do you like this guy? Huh? You want to play with him? Let's go play with him the other room. Come on. Come on, man. Slowly walk with me. I said slowly." He moved pasted the door with Mr. Gigglesworth in his hand. "I said slowly." Lenny then ran towards the open front door, throwing the monkey and letting the deer run after it.

"Problem solved." Lenny said once the deer started to tare it to shreds.

"Mr. Gigglesworth! Daddy, he's killing him!" Becky cried.

"New problem begins." Lenny sighed. "I'm sorry."

"Is that your bra, Mrs. Feder?" The mail man asked.

Roxanne nodded with a sigh, "The other one is Emmy's."

"Nice!" He chuckled, holding his hand up.

"Hey!" Nate glared at him, pulling his girlfriend closer to him.

"Easy." Lenny told him as Roxanne crossed her arms over her chest.

"I'm going to take a shower." Emerson pulled away from her boyfriend.

"We should save water." He smirked, following her inside and ignoring the looks from his brothers and parents.

"Maybe."

"That doesn't answer my question!" He called after her as she went up the stairs.

"I never said no!" She called back.

"God," Nate looked at her father, "She's gonna be the death of me."