broken hearts club! • bill denbrough

three.

"they say we're losers and we're alright with that."

"what do you want to do, billy?" the boy flinched slightly when hearing the nickname. sure, it used to be a normal thing that he heard from her, but that was before october. before Georgie. "shit. i'm so sorry, bill." guinevere winced and clutched bill's arm, resting her head on his shoulder in attempt to comfort him. as his best friend, she knew that he was still hurting. they all did; even logan.

"it-it's okay." he smiled at her solemnly, still letting her hold his arm. richie couldn't help but feel jealous. he was her best friend. was bill really taking his best friend? because that is what richie and guinevere were, right? best friends? sn inseparable duo? bonnie and clyde? at least that's what she told him last year when he spilled his heart out to her about his identity issues he'd been facing.

"i th-think if i wuh-were betty ripsom, i'd want us to fi-find me. juh-georgie too." he sighed and closed his eyes for a moment, feeling the girl on his arm tighten her grip, comforting him just a little by letting him him know she was there. another action to not go unnoticed by richie.

"what if i don't wanna find them?" eddie looked down at his feet. his statement earned him a death glare from guinevere that he didn't notice. "i mean, no offense, bill, but i don't wanna end up like ge-" logan elbowed eddie in the ribs. she knew he over spoke sometimes from the few times they'd been partners in school. she also knew that bill believed, with his whole heart, that his beautiful little brother would just be hiding away, safe and well after all this time. she understood bill's hope. some deep, hidden part of her wanted to find the little boy and hug him. "i don't wanna go missing either."

"he has a point." stanley finally spoke up from logan's other side, catching everyone's attention.

"you-you too?"

"it's summer!" stanley exclaimed, making logan nod her head in agreement. "we're supposed to be having fun. this isn't fun. this is scary and disgusting." stanley, who liked things clean, was clearly not enjoying his time. he knew this would be gross but he still tagged along for the same reason he did most things, to be there for his friends. but this? this was becoming too much.

"lo-logan, i sup-suppose you're not in either?" bill looked at the blonde almost longingly, as if begging her to stay. please, logan. we'll be the best friends you've ever had. we'll make you question why you shut people out. she could hear him taunting her in her head.

"bill," she sighed, sadness seeping through her gentle voice. she had always had sympathy for him after last october. she could never imagine losing kalo, or the man she looked up to, or even bill himself. if she lost him, she'd feel guilty that she wasn't there to save him like he did her.

"or is the dark too scary for you, bubbles?" richie giggled, only to receive silence and a middle finger from logan.

she wanted to be there with the losers, she did. being alone and trapped with the same girls all summer sounded like hell to her, but what would her probation officer say if he found out she was hanging out with four boys and looking for missing kids?

"guys, i'm on probation all summer. my officer would kill me. why do you even care? i'm not your friend." she laughed lightheartedly. she was aware that what she was saying came off as a little rude, so she made sure to kindly smile after the fact. she wanted to be their friend, but she wasn't.

"wait, why are you-" eddie was interrupted by a large, loud splash behind him, each of them snapping their heads back to see derry's resident new kid, ben hanscom, on his hands and knees in the river of water, blood soaking through the ripped stomach area of his shirt.

"holy shit, what happened to you?"

and there she found herself, leading a group of her peers while on her skates by bill denbrough's side as eddie ranted about how they could get aids, all from helping the new kid. fuck what john says about cerfew, i have to help him. this isn't just about me. "he always talk that fast?" she laughed, looking over at bill and almost losing her footing, which made them both chuckle.

"yeah." bill laughed. "we usually juh-just ignore him."

"good to know." she chuckled, spinning to a hault as the boys and guinevere threw their bikes on the ground (excluding stanley, who propped his up gently) and ran inside, leaving richie, logan, and ben outside.

"so, why are you on probation?" richie smirked at her, intrigued about what she could have possibly done. he knew she was rebellious, that much was clear. she ran out of class frequently, was involved in many fights with henry bowers (she never lost a single one), and she'd been caught trying to run away from derry on multiple occasions.

"what's it to you?" she popped her gum again, smaking it in her mouth loudly as she skated back and fourth down they ally, the boys' eyes following her like two dogs watching a tennis match. "You really are very nosy, aren't you, tozier?"

richie shrugged and remained silent, waiting for her response. ben sat, listening quietly. he too was curious about why there was always a man coming and pulling her out of class on tuesday and thursday mornings to stop her.

"i've shoplifted multiple times. and i had my switchblade in my pocket when they arrived at the shop one time." she rolled her eyes and propped herself against the wall, crossing her arms. she was trying to look cool but, deep down, her calves were burning from trying not to roll too much.

"what the hell?" richie laughed, walking up to her and patting her on the back, literally. "what did you steal? do you have the blade?"

ben watched in shock as she pulled out her knife and the blade shot up from her hand. he'd heard from the kids at school that she was many things; a whore, a slut, and a wuss. he believed the rumors and avoided her all year, scared of being frowned upon for hanging out with her. he found betty ripsom crazy for walking in the halls by her side and making friendly conversations.

"i dunno. sometimes it's feminine products for my roommates because miss polson doesn't buy them for us, sometimes it's food for kalo, and sometimes it's just little things that i enjoy." she shrugged, smiling. "what's the point of living if you don't ever really live?"

this conversation was the one that mattered to ben. the one with richie tozier. she was no longer seen as any of those things, to neither richie, nor to ben. they now saw her as a beautiful, kind, and crazy badass (though richie would never forget her suspected fear of the dark).

"guin, we gotta," richie eagerly approached his best friend as they all returned, eddie's small arms overflowing with medical products.

"what do we gotta do, rich?"

he whispered something into her ear, smiling. She giggled slightly at his excitement. she'd seen richie very sad in the past few months and she was really glad to see that happy, summer richie came to visit.

"okay, okay. just do it already." she smiled, the two of them taking logan away from the commotion of eddie trying to explain to stanley why he had two fancy packs.

"bubblegum," richie smiled, fixing his glasses, overwhelmed with giddiness. "by the power vested in me by the god of street fighter,"

"welcome to the loser's club!" they both exclaimed loudly at the same time, recieving questioning glares from the others behind them as the three of them turned to face their friends.

and as logan smiled at the group of losers she'd skate past everyday, she realized they were the only friends she'd ever had. they'd only spoken for one day and, as someone who never had a home, or friends, or anywhere to feel safe, this feeling was alien. but richie made her smile, bill made her feel special, eddie made her feel warm, stanley made her feel less alone, and with guinevere, maybe she'd finally, finally have a girl to talk to.

being a loser? that's not a loss at all. not one bit.

now it was time for logan's real struggle.

keeping them.