Contreltophobia (8BitGaming) *New Version*

《1》

"Now tell me everything sir. Whatever is said in this room, will not leave it." Ryan watched as the woman at the desk pulled out various pieces of paper, notebooks, pens, pencils, and documents.

The woman looked up fixing her glasses and was ready for him to spill the information. Ryan swallowed a lump in his throat, but only to have it return. He let out a single chuckle. "I don't even know where to start."

"That's alright. Take your time. I bet this is a hard topic to talk about." The woman smiled and started looking through a document that Ryan didn't even want to know what was on it. Ryan bit his lip and crossed his legs. "Well, I guess I can start on how I got into this situation. It wasn't even a full year when my relationship started going downwards-"

"Relationship?" The woman asked as she started writing things down. Ryan sighed and nodded. "Yes. That day someone over heard me telling a friend my sexuality. Turned out to be a very good friend of mine back when I was in elementary school."

The woman fixed her glasses again as she wrote down what Ryan had said into a notebook and then looked at a document. "We got to talking and he said that he's had feelings for me for, I can't even remember. Then he said we should just try out at least one date and if it doesn't go right then forget it ever happened and go back to being friends."

The woman looked up from her writing and rubbed her brow. "I see, so you were in a relationship with a male or was this after a regular relationship?" She asked. Ryan leaned his tense body back and he let out a shaky sigh. "I wasn't in a relationship until after a couple "dates" with this guy."

The woman nodded and went back to writing. "Continue..."

"Okay, uh...so after a couple "dates" I decided it was worth a shot to try out my first relationship with him since I came out to some people. I don't think I've ever seen someone get so happy." The woman was about to say something until Ryan continued. "That was until a couple months later."

A chill ran down Ryan's spine at the memory. The woman tilted her head and tapped the pen on her chin. "I don't really know what happened. I just wasn't enjoying the relationship anymore and went to tell him, but before I even had the chance to get to the point why..." Ryan didn't want to say anything else. "I don't wanna say." Ryan whispered.

The woman nodded and pointed her pen at Ryan. "I just want to ask you this, have you been having suicidal thoughts?" Ryan thought for a moment before shrugging. "I mean, I guess sometimes." The woman nodded and moved the pen a little in a circle motion. "Tell me, when was it starting to be an abusive relationship?"

Ryan licked his lips. "A couple weeks after I told him I wanted to break up. That's when he kind of lost it and...hit me for the first time. He made a horrible threat and then, it just kept getting worse from there." The woman wrote down something on the document and took her glasses off, gently setting them down.

"And it wasn't just regular abuse. It was mainly...sexual abuse." The woman was silent as she put her glasses back on and took out another document from a folder and scanned through it. She tapped the pen on her lips and slowly nodded. "And how bad are your suicidal thoughts?"

Ryan shrugged. "I'll hurt myself a little bit, but I guess I lay at night and wish I was dead." The woman clicked her tongue and straightened up. "Have you ever thought of staying at a hospital?"

Ryan shook his head. "No way. That's the last thing I want. Pills and talking groups." He rolled his eyes and rubbed his head. "I don't even wanna be here if I'm to be honest."

The woman looked shocked and wrote something down. "Okay, I'm going to prescribe you with some medication that should-"

"Medication?! You think medication is gonna help from all that happened to me?!" Ryan growled lowly. The woman narrowed her eyes. "It will help you with-"

"I don't want your meds. Therapists are supposed to help with talking, not shove pills down people's throats and hope everything goes back to rainbows and butterflies." Ryan stood up from the chair and grabbed his hoodie from the back if it. "I knew I should have never come here." He mumbled.

The woman stood up as well, slamming her pen onto the desk. "Mr. Till! I'm doing the best I can here! The meds will help with some pain-"

"If it was pain pills I was looking for, I could literally get them at the local store." The woman bit her lip and huffed. Ryan slid his hoodie on and walked towards the door. "You can say all you want miss, but nothing is gonna make me go back to normal."

And with that, he left the room.