Contreltophobia (8BitGaming) *New Version*

《12》

The only thing going through Ryan's mind was 'I fucked up'. He just kissed his best friend. And now he wanted to talk about it. He was staying and talking about it. Ryan was currently pacing the living room as Ry was on the phone with Ronnie is the  kitchen.

Max followed him back and forth, but soon grew tired and settled for just watching his human. Watching with curiosity. Wondering what was going inside his owners head.

Meanwhile, Ryan was having a mental breakdown. Why did he kiss him? He wasn't fully healed with his last relationship. What caused him to pull a sudden move like that? Surely it couldn't have just been what happened in the kitchen.

When Ry emerged from the kitchen, Ryan stilled and tried to stop his body from shaking. Was he terrified? Nervous? Ryan literally couldn't tell you. Ry shoved his phone into his pocket and motioned to the couch.

The young Brit understood and slowly sat down, Ry following beside him. "First, you need to understand that I'm not mad." Ryan just nodded as his leg started to bounce, a nervous habit of his. "Second, I just want to know where you wanted that to go. I'm gonna say this as lightly as I can, you're still hurting from your last relationship."

"I know." Ryan said, well, whispered. His voice seemed to have disappeared. Too scared to talk. "I-I don't k-know why I-I did it." Ryan stuttered, staring at his trembling hands. 

"Breathe Ryan." Ry placed a gentle hand on top of Ryan's shaking ones. Ryan took a deep breath. "Well that's a bit of a lie. I think I know what triggered it." Ry raised an eyebrow in question, showing he had his full attention.

"T-The thing that happened in the kitchen earlier today." Ryan refused to make eye contact.

--

Ry smiled and 'When did he get so close?' Ryan thought.

Ry placed a finger under Ryan's chin, maneuvering his head to look up. "There's no need to thank me. I'll do everything I can to help you."

It was like Ryan had no control over his body as he leaned closer, Ry doing the same.

They felt each others breath. Their lips very gently brushed each other and-

--

A hum was the only response Ryan got. The warning bells were going off in his head. The red panic light. His brain was like the one episode of Spongebob. "Just tell me I misread the situation." Ryan leaned his head until it hit the back of the couch and closed his eyes.

"Perhaps I'm he one who misread the situation." Ry tilted his head to do the same as Ryan. "It's not okay to rush back into a relationship after what you've been through."

Neither Brit wanted to make this into some sort of teenage drama movie. "Look Ryan, this is totally up to you. We can make this happen, but we shouldn't rush it. I want you to experience a healthy relationship when you're ready."

Ry was right. Ry was always right. "I don't know what I want. It's like I blanked out before I even knew I kissed you." He wanted to cry. Scream. Laugh? "I'm going insane." Ryan chuckled as his eyes filled with tears.

Ry moved a hand to gently run through Ryan's hair. The young Brit couldn't help but melt into the touch. He's not used to such gentleness. He got used to rough hands and thick fingers gripping his hair tightly and roughly pulling it.

He remembers when his mother would gently sooth him from nightmares or thunderstorms when he was younger. Of course his hair wasn't in the current style, but it was still comforting. Ry trailed his fingers all the way to the tip of the fringe and repeat.

This was a long road. And Ryan just seemed to keep adding obstacles in the way. "You're not insane. You're healing. And it may not seem like it, but you are. I look and start to see light glowing through the cracks."

Ryan found his fingers grazing Ry's free hand. Ry grinned at the action and continued to play with Ryan's hair. "And if this does end up happening, I'll take care of you."

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I completely gave up on this chapter. Please help me. I love this book. I like how slow paced it's going. I don't wanna give up! What do YOU guys wanna see? I need some ideas.