Contreltophobia (8BitGaming) *New Version*

《5》

<WARNING:Mentions of rape, self harm, and suicide>

<Read at your own risk>
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Ryan thought hopefully Ry forgot about the diner. He wasn't feeling it. Telling Ry what happened. What he did.

Ryan shuddered. Fortunately Ry wasn't in the room at the moment. He was in the bathroom.

The more time Ryan stood there alone, the more he thought about the diner. The words that damn fish said.

When he looked at Ry, he felt something. Something he couldn't quite figure out yet. But it was definitely a good thing. Whatever it was.

"So, what'd you think we should record?" Ry ask walking back into the room. Ryan shrugged. "Didn't get that far yet."

Ry hummed and nodded. The silence that followed unnerved Ryan. He could feel Ry's gaze. He tried not to panic.

But being stared at isn't the most pleasant thing in the world. It felt like he was here.

"You okay mate? Look a bit pale there."

He felt pale. He could feel the color leave his skin. He felt sick. "Ryan?"

Ryan could hear the worry in Ry's words. "I'm fine. Maybe I'm still a little under the weather."

"Here. S-sit down." Ry wheeled over Ryan's computer chair and basically forced Ryan to sit.

"Do you need anything? Some water?" Ryan shook his head. "Some fresh air would be nice." He pulled at the collar of his shirt.

Ry nodded. He pulled the curtain Ryan uses for recording aside and walked over towards the window. After opening it, he made sure the screen was secure so Max couldn't get out.

"Thanks." Ryan mumbled. Ry walked back over and knelt beside the younger Brit. "Are you sure you're okay?"

No. He wasn't sure. What's between being okay and totally mind fucked? His mind was racing. Should he explain?

"I'm sure. Let's just find a shorter game to play." Ryan went to stand up, but Ry pushed him back down. It wasn't rough, but Ryan's heart still started to race.

"I don't think we should record. I don't want you passing out or something."

"So much for not letting people down." Ryan mumbled. "Hey, what's with the negative attitude? It's not a big deal. Okay?"

Ryan looked up to see Ry giving him a small smile. But it wasn't returned.

It was the ding of Ryan's phone that cut the silence. Ry stood up to grab the phone and hand it to him, but couldn't help reading the text that previewed on the lock screen.

Nate:Hey bro. Just wanted to let you know I can't make it over today. Are you alright? If not I ask Ry to check up on ya. I won't explain to him. I just wanna know if you're okay.

Ry handed Ryan his phone and watched how Ryan kept glancing up at him as he typed.

Ryan:Hey, it's okay. I'm fine. And Ry is already here. No need to worry.

"I'm just gonna go splash some water on my face or something." Ryan stood up and made his way towards the bathroom.

Looking in the mirror, Ryan turned on the sink. Ryan splashed some water onto his face. He glanced over at a razor to the side.

"No. Don't this Ryan." Ryan grabbed the sides of the sink and squeezed his eyes shut. "Breathe. Just breathe."

Do it.

Do it for the whore you are.

Ryan whimpered and backed away from the sink. He hurried out of the room, not noticing the tears streaming down his face.

"Ryan! Are you okay?" Ry ran up to him as he walked into the room. "I'm fine." Ryan forced out. "No you're not. Don't tell me that bullshit."

"I'm not bullshitting anything. I'm fine." Ry backed away. The glare Ryan gave was something he's never seen before.

He's scared of you. I'm not surprised. Seen yourself lately?

Ryan calmed down the best he could. "I-I'm sorry. It's just.....been rough for me for a while."

"It's alright. You....you wanna talk about it?"

Tell him everything I did. Every little detail. How you screamed. Begged. Even moaned a little.

Ryan tensed up. "I think it's best I don't." Ryan hugged himself and rubbed his arms.

"Ryan, I'm willing to listen. If it'll help you, please, talk about it."

He knew what it was now. As he looked into Ry's eyes he felt...warm. Safe. Loved.

Ryan looked around the room and sighed. "Fine."