NO REGRETS ✔️

Chapter 33

The doctor was right when he said that I would heal fast. It had already been two months and I was walking normal with no limp. There was a scar on my right leg...but no pain anymore. The broken ribs were back to normal, and I was even back to work. I was only back for three days a week temporarily, Hoseok and I both. After our loss, and during my recovery, I needed help, and he didn't want me to hire a nurse.

It was a love/hate kind of situation. We loved being together as much as we were, but we hated the reason behind it.

He helped me a lot with my physical therapy, he helped me bathe, and he even helped with small things such as laundry and cooking. He wasn't exactly the best, but with my instructions he was improving a lot.

Our sex life was what I was most concerned about. We only had sex a few times, and though, I loved him...and I loved the sex...it was nothing like it used to be. At first we didn't have sex at all...and then about a month ago, we got the okay from our doctor to be physical, but nothing vigorous.

Today, I have another doctors appointment, and I'm really hoping that I can get a green light for something that can bring me back to life. I had been feeling out of myself...feeling so much sadness and abnormalsy...even with Hoseok being gentle and loving it wasn't...love...he was holding back. I didn't want him to hold back...I wanted my Hobi back.

"Are you nervous?" he asked me as he drove to he hospital.

"No." I smiled, taking his hand. "I'm excited to hear about my progress."

"Me too." He said giving my hand a light squeeze.

I didn't see him smile...which meant something was wrong. "Is everything okay?"

He let out a breath. "Yeah...everything is good."

"Hobi...something is clearly bothering you."

"I just feel weird."

"How so?" I asked as he parked in the parking structure.

He parked and turned off the ignition and turned to me. "Don't you feel weird? I feel like things are...different between us."

I started to get a knot in my throat. What does he mean? Does...is he leaving? "Um...I..." I started to panic...I didn't know what to say, and I could feel tears pool in my eyes and when I looked over to him his eyes went wide. I started to hyperventilate...I didn't want to be without him...I love him so much that I can't imagine doing anything or being anywhere without him. Realizing my state of panic, he moved to grab hold of both of my hands and held them to his chest.

"Oh god...calm down...I didn't mean it like that, I don't want to leave, I don't want to leave you...I'm not going anywhere." He moved one of his hands to cup my cheek and pulled me to him. I was still slightly hyperventilating, but not quite as much, when he pressed his lips against mine. I almost calmed down instantly as his mouth moved slowly against mine. When he pulled back I was gripping the hand that was cupping my cheek, my heart rate finally slowing down. "Please calm down...I'm sorry I made it sound like that...it's not what I meant at all."

I nodded and looked up to him. "What did you mean?"

"I meant that something feels different...off. Like something isn't...I don't know...something is missing." He then started to rub his thumb against my cheek and smirked. "I cant believe you thought that I was thinking about leaving you. Do you have any idea how much you mean to me...I cant even think about a future without you."

"I'm sorry...it's just...the way you said it..."

He kissed me again but chuckled. "I'm sorry...I didn't mean to scare you like that...it's really not what I meant."