Breathe (GirlxGirl)

Chapter 39 - Cold Cocoa

Samantha sat snuggled under Faith's arm wrapped in a blanket. Her eyes, red from the night's events, still appeared dazed. Dana sat on the other side of her with one hand on Samantha's leg and the other resting on Stephen's back. Stephen sat forward like a basketball player waiting on the sidelines. His hands rested at his forehead as he took in the information. Occasionally, he'd wipe across his face to remove the tears. Sabrina sat with Miguel on the loveseat with both hands wrapped around a now cold cup of cocoa. Sabrina hadn't said a word since Sam was brought inside. She remained unmoved and for once completely engaged. Sandra, haven been awakened, sat wrapped in her robe holding a tissue. Samuel sat within arms length in front of Faith and Samantha on a chair brought from the kitchen. Despite the horrific information he received during the night, he remained outwardly calm and supportive. Yet, on the inside, this gentle giant stewed with mixed emotion. His blood boiled with seething enmity that someone would rob his little girl of her innocence. Never before had he felt such indignation, rage and fury coupled with helplessness, anguish and heartache. He stayed mindful to keep from clenching his fists or bursting into tears. Now was the time to be the rock for his daughter and family. The rock could crumble another time. How could he not see the signs so evident through the years? He was supposed to be the one to protect his children and keep them safe.

Things were starting to make sense now. Samantha stayed home sick quite often that year. Now he knew it was because she'd often see him on the school bus. He recalled times when Samantha looked to space off into nowhere and be absent. Now he understood those moments to be times of flashbacks. He now knew why bedtime was a struggle. She feared sleep because that was where she re-lived her assault over and over and over again. He remembered how she would wake screaming and crying. Their Dr. said it was night terrors and she would out-grow them. Given a couple years, it did appear that these terrors subsided. Little did Samuel know, the only thing that subsided was that he didn't wake to her cries any longer. Samantha's suffering continued in silence. She never out-grew her "night terrors." Instead, her terror would haunt her in her dreams until this day.

The silence in the room was deafening. Dana shared the information as Faith filled in the blanks where necessary. Sam hadn't decided to tell her family, nor had she decided anything more than to come with her girlfriend and spend the Holidays at home. But, here she was on Christmas morning, stripped naked and exposed for her family to see. She wanted nothing more than to close her eyes and open them to a different scene before her.

A couple blinks and she was fully connected to that moment. She lifted her head and looked around the room. Her eyes came to rest on the mirror image of her own. Her lower lip quivered. Her eyebrows narrowed as two equal streams ebbed from her eyes. "I'm sorry I ruined Christmas." She eked out.

"Oh baby. You didn't ruin Christmas."

Samuel, now on his knees pulled Sam into his arms. Samantha surrendered, laid her head on his shoulder and sobbed. Sandra then sat on the coffee table and with one hand rubbed Sam's back as the other joined the linebacker sized hand at the small of their daughter's back.

"We'll just have to have our Christmas another day then. In fact, we have until New Year's Eve to get it in, so don't you worry about Christmas." Sandra reassured.

Sam pulled her head back and looked helplessly into her father's eye. "I can't deal with all of this the entire day; I just can't."

The warmth of her father's hand on her cheek felt safe. A large tawny thumb swept across her face interrupting the course of her tears. "I know sweetheart. What do you need? Sleep? Drive? Anything Sam... name it and you got it. What would help you the most?"

Samantha took hold of Faith's hand. "I think I just need to sleep for now if that's okay?"

Sam senior nodded his head toward Faith acknowledging Sam's request. "Of course it's okay. I know you'll be in good hands. Faith stood with Sam and the two made their way upstairs to the bedroom and closed the door.