Prove It

Chapter XXVI

"I'm sorry for asking you to talk to Holden, it was stupid," I say. For the past hour Marcus has just been holding me in his lap and listening to me ramble and stew. It's what I needed though, because now I feel so much lighter.

"It wasn't stupid, Manda. You care for him, that's why you asked," he reasons with me, but I still feel guilty about asking him to try and rationalize with my brother. It seems as though no one can.

"Yeah, but I think I made it worse. You should've seen him Marcus, he was humiliated. He's never yelled at me like that before in my life," I confess. My voice cracks a little and I can't believe myself.

"Excuse me," I jump out of the bed and into the bathroom to calm down.

For the second time today I look in the bathroom mirror and silently cry, watching as the tears run down my cheeks and onto the counter.

"Manda, are you alright?" Marcus asks quietly through the door.

I wipe my face and rub it on the towel by the sink, "Yeah I'm coming," I call back.

I walk back into the room and Marcus is waiting right outside the door for me with a concerned look on his face.

"What is it?" he asks softly, with so much concern that I burst into tears again. He immediately sweeps me into his arms and carries me over to the bed to coddle me in his arms. He shushes me gently as he strokes my hair and kisses my face tenderly.

"Tell me, Manda," he whispers and I whimper.

"My brother hates me, and I don't know how to fix it," I force out quietly. Marcus hugs me tighter to his body as I continue to sob even louder.

"Shhh. Don't think that, he doesn't hate you," he comforts me, but it does little to reassure my thoughts.

"I'm sorry for asking you to talk to him. It obviously pushed him more than I thought. I put you in an uncomfortale position, I'm so sorry," I apologize profusely.

"Don't apologize, you didn't know. I won't treat him any different, and before you know it he'll forget all about it," he says, still stroking my head.

"Thanks for listening," I tell him, wanting to end the conversation before I cry again.

He kisses the top of my head, "No problem, Manda."

We lay in silence for a little, listening to the quiet sound of the television Marcus had going on in the background when I had come walking in.

I lay under his arm, cuddled into his side, my head pressed close enough to his chest to hear the faint drumming of his heartbeat.

I look over at the clock. 9:46. I suppress a sigh, knowing he'll ask what I'm thinking. I should be going now, I've already overstayed my welcome at bit.

I don't want to go back home right now. This is around the time Holden is downstairs fixing himself food he didn't eat during dinner. I don't want to have to face him.

"What are you thinking about?" Marcus asks, stroking the skin between my eyebrows. So much for hiding.

"Nothing, I just think I should be going home now. Sorry I stayed so long," I apologize, now noticing all the papers and the textbook that is lying forgotten at the foot of the bed since I've arrived.

"Are you sure? Tomorrow's Saturday. You could stay over if you'd like, there's the spare bedroom next to here" he offers and my heart thuds in my chest. He's so sweet.

"It's okay, really," I get up from the bed, and he stands up with me still in his arms. "I'll talk to you tomorrow," I tell him.

"Okay," he replies, right before giving me a soft kiss. A kiss telling me everything's going to be alright.

***************************

"Amanda, could you come into our room?" my mom asks gently from my doorway. I had just walked in to put my stuff away when she knocked.

"Yeah," I reply, already knowing what this conversation is to be about.

I walk down the hallway and turn into my parents bedroom. They're both sitting on the massive bed at the edge of the room.

"Holden told us about what happened with Marcus today," my mom began in a quiet voice that makes me shrink under. My mom rarely yells, but she has a way of making you feel small under her words.

"I know you were trying to help, but you shouldn't be going around talking about Holden's personal issues," she continues, and I resist the urge to argue back.

"He feels humiliated, Amanda. You told Marcus what he does and all the things he's said," my dad repremands, and I don't know how much longer I can hold my tongue.

"What made you think this was a good idea? You know how sensitive Holden is," my mom says and I burst.

"What makes you think what Holden does and says is a secret that we only know? Everyone in the school knows what Holden does, they've seen him to the things you're talking about and have heard the things you're saying he speaks about. They all know! Not because I've told them, because they've witnessed it themselves! I thought Marcus could talk to Holden as an unbiased third party, someone who knows him. I didn't mean to humiliate him, I didn't think I could since everyone already knows," I finish out of breath and my parents stare at me in disbelief.

There's a moment of silence that passes between my parents and I, letting me know they really hear what I'm saying.

"Just please don't discuss this with anyone else? They know what's going on outside our home, but no one else should know what he talks about here," my mom says, tears already in her eyes and I want to hug her tight.

"Of course. I didn't know Holden would blow up on Marcus like that," I answer with a sigh.

"Do you think he'll ever grow out of this?" I ask them in a whisper. I keep telling myself one day he'll wake up and be the person he's meant to be, but right now he only keeps going downhill, even with the medication and therapy he's going to.

"We can only hope," my dad replies, rubbing his hand up and down my mom's arm in comfort.