Chapter XL

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Going into the second semester Marcus and I are both committed to our schools. I'm officially part of Florida State University, and to my dad's delight, Marcus is going to UConn only about an hour and a half away from home.

He and I still haven't had the talk yet. The talk about our relationship after graduation. We'll be over 1,000 miles apart from one another, and neither of us have ever done long distance anything.

I'm so nervous for that talk to finally happen. Neither one of us has initiated that discussion, and I don't know whether I want to get it over with as soon as possible or to have it at the last minute before I get on the plane.

Either way the two of us will have to confront that conversation, however I think we're slow getting there. Sofia has already talked it out with Jon, and against my hope, are staying together moving into the fall semester. Unless they break up over the summer.

And I overheard Hannah talking to Sofia about the talk she had with Aaron. She was crying, saying that the distance between the two would be too much. It was heartbreaking to hear, but what was more heartbreaking was that she and Aaron are only going to be four hours away from each other. With them being less than a plane flight away from each other it gave me less hope for Marcus and I. Hannah and Aaron have been together way longer than we have, too.

I just don't have a clue of what I want. No. I know what I want, I just don't know if I can get what I want.

Without that stressful question weighing in my mind Marcus had invited me to meet his family. At his grandmother's seventy-eighth birthday.

I don't know how he handled himself so well under the pressure of meeting mine, I'm nearly crippling with anxiety. Meeting his mom was one thing, and so was saying hello to his dad every so often when I would be around later in the night, but meeting his entire family? And unlike mine where the entirety of my extended family are my one set of grandparents, aunt uncle and two cousins, his family is huge. He told me his mom has four brothers and his dad has three sisters and one other younger brother. And all of these aunts and uncles have spouses and children of their own.

Dear God picking out an outfit should not be this difficult.

I've dressed for hundreds of occasions throughout my life. For my parent's boring work events, for every holiday and for every time we'd have a school event. But now it's as though I've never dressed myself before.

Everything I pick is either too showy, too revealing, or too grandmaish for this party. He said the party is casual but casual is not the way to make a first impression. Or is it?

I'm so confused and at this rate if I don't get ready in the next five minutes I'm going to be late. I throw on the first outfit I tried on and rush out the door.

"Mom I'm leaving!" I shout back into the house.

I don't wait for a response when I close the garage door. Just before I start backing out my mom comes rushing out to the garage with a container in her hand.

"Amanda give these to Marcus's grandmother. They're chocolate caramel pecan cookies."

"Okay Mom." I take the tupperware away from her and set it on the passenger seat of the car. She says goodbye and I wave back through the window as I back out and drive to Marcus's house.

With his grandparents living a good distance away, Mr. and Mrs. Sloane thought it was a good idea if I drove with them to the location not wanting me to get lost.

I pull up to their home and lock my car on the edge of the street. No matter how nice of a neighborhood I'm in, you can never be too safe.

I walk up to the front door and ring the doorbell like I have about fifty times at this point. The same bark echos throughout the house, and the familiar sound of Lucy's nails scratching against the floor reaches my ears as I see Marcus coming to the door, restraining her before letting me in.

"Hey you're early," he comments as he closes the door.

"Didn't want to be late," I reply.

Marcus walks up to me and kisses me softly. I melt underneath his lips for the two seconds they're on me.

"I can see you're nervous, don't be nervous." I'm surprised he read me that well. I didn't even think I had an apprehensive expression on my face. I tried to remain as neutral as possible. Obviously that did jack shit.

"There's just going to be so many of them. I'm not used to family gatherings being so large," I explain. Surely he saw at the Sunday dinner that was all of the family I see or speak to on at least a biannual basis.

"It's not all that bad. You might not even speak to half of them after you get introduced. I promise you'll be fine. They all are really excited to meet you though," he says and that makes me stand at attention.

"How much do they know about me?" I ask, suddenly very self conscious.

He shrugs his shoulders. "Not much. Only the things my mom knows about you since she's the one gossiping to all her brothers and my dad's siblings."

He laughs at the expression on my face and gives my nose a kiss. "Don't make that face, I promise it's all good things."

I hear footsteps coming down the stairs and I look up to see Mrs. Sloane and Kendall coming down the stairs together as well as Mr. Sloane coming from the left side of the house at the same time.

"Everyone ready?" Mr. Sloane asks the room. Everyone nods and we all leave, saying goodbye to Lucy before closing the door.

"Kendall could you sit in the far back so Amanda and Marcus could have more room in the front?" Mrs. Sloane asks her daughter who only nods in reply. Other than a few words here and there I haven't really ever heard Kendall speak around me.

"No it's alright, I don't mind," I say, not wanting Kendall to feel bad.

"It's alright," Kendall speaks up.

"It's a rather long drive up to Somers. Trust me, the car gets uncomfortable quickly all crammed up," Mrs. Sloane adds on.

I don't answer, I just get in the car after Marcus and buckle my seatbelt in their large SUV. I'm not sure how we could get cramped back here. The middle row of seats is so roomy I'm sure the whole family could fit if they tried.

"Everyone buckled?" Mr. Sloane calls back into the car.

"Yep!" we all call back to him.

The car starts up and I watch him fiddle with the dials at the front to heat up the car. Even at the end of March the air is still crisp and chilly on some days.

Once he's satisfied he pulls out of the garage and into the street on our way to his grandmother's house.

A few seconds down the road Marcus takes my hand in his. I smile at the gesture, but don't look up at him, embarrassed that his parents, or at least his mom, could be closely watching us right now.

"I never told you, but you look beautiful," he compliments and I feel my face flush. I look at his parents to try and see if their reactions change with our words. They don't and I feel better speaking back.

"Thanks, you think it'll be alright for tonight?" I ask, still stressing over the attire.

"Amanda you're always beautiful. Stop stressing, when I say casual I mean casual. I mean, look at me and my family," he says, pointing to his parents and referencing to his sister in the back.

I look up and in the back to really notice for the first time how everyone is dressed. He's right, no one is done up super fancy, they're all wearing typical Sunday dinner at grandma's outfits.

"So Amanda, did Marcus tell you who all is going to be there?" Mrs. Sloane starts up a conversation with me.

I sit back and relax in the seat next to Marcus. I reply and she starts talking our ears off like she needs to share all the world's wisdom with us in the hour and a half.

Goodness this is going to be a long ride.

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