Prove It

Chapter XLVII

"Are you sure you have everything set?" my mom asks as I set the last few articles of decoration on the shelf. The gold and white knick knacks look perfect arranged like bookends for the small novels I had brought with me.

"Yeah, everything's perfect." I look proudly at the masterpiece in front of me. After countless hours of planning, searching and finally selecting all the pieces and packing them away I have my perfectly laid out dorm room in front of me. 

And then of course the bare side of my roommate, but I'm not looking at that now.

"I can't believe my baby girl is all moved in to college," my mom sobs into her hand, looking at me with teary eyes.

She comes up to me with the rest of my family to give me a group hug that lasts for way longer than necessary, but still feels good. Especially knowing I won't be seeing them until after finals in December.

"I'm sorry we can't stay longer, but we just can't let Emma and Holden miss school," my dad apologizes, but I wave it off. 

"That doesn't matter," I reassure them. Before we came down Holden was in a rage because they were going to take a flight down for two days to move me in before leaving again. He argued they should stay at least a week to "fully experience" the trip, but my parents weren't having any of it and threatened to leave him with Grandma and Grandpa if he kept the act up.

Obviously he stopped fussing, but he still makes a face when my dad mentions the upcoming plane ride home.

"We'll miss you. Call us later to tell us about your roommate." 

They wave goodbye as they all walk out the door, leaving me alone in the empty room. I flop down on my bed and glance over at all the photos I had taken the time to gum paste to the wall beside my bed.

I have a picture of me and Sofia on her boat posing my the wheel. She had made sure to take around a billion pictures to make sure her dorm is covered in all directions. She cried when I left, and had made me promise to not lose touch. I teased her a little, but she's my best friend. As much as I hate her sometimes, she's been a sister for so long, and I don't know if I could ever let her go, no matter if we talk everyday or once a month.

I have another picture with all the girls at homecoming, a funny one with each one of us making a weird face for the camera. Even though I don't like all the girls in the picture, I still loved this picture and this memory way too much to not bring it with me. 

The last frame is one of me and Marcus and I smile at it with fondness. It is a picture of he and I on prom night cuddled up on the sofa together in the chaotic house. I don't think I remember more than half the night. By the time that picture was taken I was already past tipsy. 

But I was happy. So so happy, and all because of the boy on the left.

Our last day together was hard. We had spent almost the entirety of the day and the night before with one another. Talking, kissing, cuddling, and making love one last time before I had to get on the plane to Florida. 

I sigh with sadness. I already miss him so much, and it's only been a couple days since I've last been in physical contact with him. The worse thing is that I can't make myself rationalize that we're only away from him until December. If I can make it without my family for that long I can do the same for him. But my mind doesn't buy it, and my heart aches every time I think about it.

I know it'll get better at some point, but I don't know when that point will be. He's changed everything. He's the one who showed me how good it can feel to be love and love someone with all your heart, that young love can be more than puppy love. 

But I'm afraid. Afraid that the distance will crush us, and if it doesn't crush him, then it might crush me enough to want to give up. Afraid that maybe what I feel isn't enough even though in my heart I know I feel all the right things for him for all the right reasons.

Neither of us have any idea what we're getting ourselves into. Even with I asked him he didn't have any concrete answer. But I suppose that's how we ended up where we are now. Having no clue what could become of our feelings for each other but jumping in with two feet anyway, and now are forced to do the same with this whole long distance bullshit.

For what seems like the first time I'm not in some way or another in control of what will happen. A very minimal part. But I love him and he loves me, and that's all that matters for the moment.

And that's all he ever wanted to prove to me.