suddenly | minsung

thirteen

heres this adorable picture of jisung because this is how i imagined him in this chapter uwu!!

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jisung was definitely confused to say the least.

but how could he say no.

so here he was, sitting on a couch opposite from minho as he anxiously chewed his popcorn.

there wasn't much talking between the two at all. minho never explained why exactly he randomly asked jisung if he wanted to watch a movie but jisung didn't question it.

in fact he tried his hardest to just keep his mind off the older boy for now. it was what's best for him and he understood that.

he curled up into the corner of a couch, keeping a pillow between his legs. an old habit of his, and it was definitely comfortable.

jisung's eyes were glued onto the movie. minho made a good choice picking an avengers movie, jisung under no circumstances ever wanted to take his eyes off the screen. he'd watched this movie about a million times, but he still couldn't miss a single blink of the film.

minho took advantage of this. he stared at the boy curled up on the other couch. he looked so small, it hurt him to think of the absolute shit the boy's gone through. even though he may not know the entire story.

he was only able to hear a couple words from jisung's crying phone call last night. those sad, miserable words being;

'nobody loves me. nobody ever will."

these words stuck in minho's head. because they were indeed, some of the saddest he's ever heard. the cries were genuine, and the thought hurt minho's heart.

jisung didn't deserve the shit show of emotions he was going through. jisung was genuinely a good person, and always put others before himself, but like anyone those pent up feelings he keeps unleash themselves at the smallest things.

staring at the small boy in front of him, he just wanted to make the boy feel loved.

wait, what?

suddenly, minho viewed jisung differently.

and just like that, a warm feeling surged through his heart. warm like the coffee minho had specially made for jisung the day they met.

and suddenly, he found himself craving the feeling of jisung in his arms.

but he couldn't. he absolutely couldn't.

because he had kangmin. and jisung had jeongin.

two newly sprouted relationships, but minho already began tearing away from his own. and jisung's wasn't even real.

but thanks to kangmin, it was real to minho's knowledge.

it held him back from just moving couches and hugging the boy close in his arms. which in this case was the smarter decision.

he continuously had to remind himself jisung wasn't his, and he wasn't jisung's.

he was taken aback by these new found feelings, and he was certainly confused with his own emotions.

all he knew was; he wanted jisung to know he was loved.

and maybe perhaps, by minho himself.

on the other hand, jisung could've sworn he felt  minho's eyes on him. but in his mind he assumed it was just wishful thinking. this isn't a kdrama, jisung, he thought to himself, scrunching his nose.

and since minho definitely wasn't staring his way, jisung decided to sneak a look at the older boy.

shit.

the two boys made eye contact. but neither looked away. they stared into each other's eyes. the sound of jisung's heartbeat drowned the sound of intense fighting from the movie.

jisung gulped. jisung was practically going crazy, but minho looked so relaxed. he stared deep into jisung's eyes and jisung had no idea what the boy was thinking.

and so like any other person, he looked away.

again, he kept his eyes on the movie, although this time the movie wasn't what he was thinking about. it was practically just moving pictures at this point.

"sungie," minho called.

jisung immediately turned his head at the nickname. his heart rate soon rising after having finally calmed down.

"co-" minho began.

but suddenly, minho's cell phone rang, interrupting both the movie and minho's sentence.

because of the way minho had thrown his phone at the other end of the other couch, the phone screen was now facing him. he saw who was calling. and he saw how minho picked up the call.

"one second," he whispered to jisung as he stepped out into the apartment hallway.

jisung felt disheartened after seeing the way minho completely left jisung for kangmin with no hesitation.

but what hurt even more was when minho walked back inside. he avoided eye contact with jisung. his eyes were glued onto the movie the minute he walked in.

and suddenly jisung felt like he didn't even exist to minho.

tears began forming in his eyes, not that minho would be able to tell.

it still hurt him, how minho had found someone else.

jisung didn't know minho for long, but after meeting such a boy, anyone would fall instantly. and that includes jisung.

he missed being minho's priority, the older boy making sure jisung was happy and felt at home. he thought there was something between them.

and suddenly, jisung made his final decision; to stop chasing after minho.