suddenly | minsung

twenty one

"i'm happy for you, hyung. i really am," jeongin said. a sad smile formed on the boy's face. "i mean, you obviously still like him, right?"

"at this point i really don't know, innie," jisung pouted through the phone.

"i mean from what it looks like, he seems to like you too! shoot your shot," jeongin's words flowed out of his mouth strangely with ease. yet, it still hurt his heart more than anything in his entire life had to say.

jeongin felt empty. like a bucket of water poured out onto the sidewalk. and apparently that showed in his voice as well.

"jeongin? are you okay? you sound sick," jisung inquired, concern filling the boy. his words were encouraging, and nothing felt better than the support of a friend, especially a friend like jeongin, but there was something about his tone that really set him off. maybe it's a best friend instinct.

"of course i am," jeongin replied, staring into his ceiling from the other end of the phone call. "you know, i should probably get going. i have an early morning shift tomorrow,"

"didn't you have the early morning shift alr—"

"i'm glad you and minho are finally getting somewhere," jeongin interrupted. "just don't get hurt, okay? i'll see you again soon, hyung,"

and just like that, jeongin ended the call. a short call it was, but for jeongin it lasted hours.

tears began streaming down the young boy's face. he let out an endless flow of uncontrollable sobs as he hugged his knees close to his body. he didn't know why he was crying. he had dealt with jisung's confusing feelings for minho for quite a while, his feelings for the boy growing even stronger as their time together as friends went on. they cried to each other, angrily ranted to each othern, etc.

jeongin felt at home with jisung; a feeling he hadn't genuinely felt in far too long. all his life had been working to support his mother, and now that he lived alone, he never got to live the experience of having someone to feel at home with.

with jisung, his worries of always working for others' happiness instead of his own went away, which he had always thought was impossible. he grew up in an environment in which that mindset was enforced into his brain. it was always, "work, jeongin. work. work. work. she needs it," and his mental health depleted from the lack of breaks. and his friendships with other people often reflected the mindset generated in his home. but again, jisung gave him a comfortable space to be happy with himself in again.

and he loved him for that. he fell in love with him because of that. and it hurt him to see jisung always hurt over minho, despite the amount of times he had said he was over the older. he wanted to shower jisung in his own love. he wanted to ensure safety and comfort for the both of them. he wanted jisung to know he was loved.

but now, he probably knows he is. but it hurts jeongin to know that it isn't him who's able to make jisung's heart flutter that way.

he continued sobbing through his thoughts until the compact air of his small room became unbearable. he needed to go outside.

so out he went, praying that jisung wouldn't be going along one of his late-night strolls. but he assured himself he wouldn't be; not after a night like that.

he walked and walked, past the cafe, past jisung's apartment complex. he walked until his legs couldn't go any farther.

he ended up seated in front of another rich-people apartment building. sitting on a seat of one of the several patio tables, he buried his face in his arms and continued his sobbing.

his whimpers were definitely more reserved than when he was in the privacy if his own apartment, but his loud sniffles compensated for the lack of noise coming from his voice. but at this point, he couldn't care less. he couldn't get his mind to wander to anything else other than jisung.

that is until, his crying turned to confusion. confusion and utter embarrassment.

jeongin felt a presence tap on his shoulder, putting his sobs and sniffles to a halt. he expected some angry, rich ajumma complaining about his noise. but to his surprise, he looked up to see the most beautiful human he had ever seen.

"oh um," the boy returned to his normal stance, taking back his arm from poking jeongin. "i just- um, are you alright?"

jeongin stared at the boy, standing above him. although jeongin was seated, and the boy was standing, the height difference still managed to appear obvious.

"i- uh, i'm hwang hyunjin," the boy swallowed. "i hope that makes it easier to talk to me or whatever," he giggled, obviously trying to get rid of the awkward atmosphere.

there it is, jeongin thought. hwang hyunjin. hwang hyunjin. the most beautiful man i've ever laid my eyes upon.

hwang hyunjin, the pretty boy who i must look like a fool at the moment.