22-You're my happy place

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"You don't remember who I am..?" I shyly ask. What does he mean? He doesn't remember? Why doesn't he remember me? Is this a joke? If he doesn't remember me then.. What will happen? I'm freaking out, it feels like my chest is shrinking.

I just look in his eyes, those beautiful green ish eyes, so empty, so unwritten. It's like I'm looking into someone else's eyes. Am I still looking at Sam? Or this is the person he's turned into, just another high school student.

My breathing is slow and heavy, my mind is spinning. Sam doesn't remember me.. SAM DOESN'T REMEMBER ME?!

What the hell am I supposed to do now? Just live? Because I can't do that without him! Not anymore.. Not after every bit of shit in my life. No more.

On his smile appears a guilty smile. "It's just a joke..?" He says.

What.

The.

Actual.

Hell!?

"What do you mean it's just a joke?" I ask and look pissed off and confused at him. What does he mean with this? Was it a prank? These aren't things to mess around with!

"It was a joke.. Sorry.. I couldn't resist.." He says while looking at the bed, he's avoiding eye contact because he's feeling guilty.

"I'm actually going to kill you." I say back and roll my eyes. "Those jokes aren't funny, they're awful. I believed you for a second, that's not okay." I say and breathe out, I look at the bed.

"I know, I'm sorry. But I'm happy you came." He says and smiles a little to me, he hopes I forgave him so we can talk about other things.

I take a deep breath. "It's okay, I'm just happy you didn't actually forgot who I am." "I could never." He says and smiles a little, he's clearly in pain.

"What happened exactly?" I ask and looks at his body, the wounds are so hard to look at, it feels so awful knowing he was in a bad accident like this.

"Well, it was after school and left as fast as possible, it was already almost 3pm and I didn't want to be late. I ran to my bike and cycled to the nearest bus stop, but I needed to cross the road. A car came from the left side, but I didn't see it. It just drove into me and I flew at least 3 meters in front of the car and hit my head.. I think.. Well, let's just say the light was out pretty quick."

I nod, this is so painful to listen to. "I-" I try to talk, but nothing comes out of my mouth. "It's okay, I know you feel bad, I can see it in your eyes." He says with a tiny smile on his face.

"So how have your days been?" He says and squeezes my hand a little. I look at our hands, a small smile appears on my face. He makes me happy, he makes me smile. It feels safe around him, so peaceful. Even though he just acted like he forgot who I was, he's an amazing human.

I look up at him. "They've been a mess, I had a fight with my dad about going out when I was grounded. It was just awful. When I heard about the accident, your mother told me on the phone, I passed out and-" Sam is starting at me with wide eyes.

"You what?! You passed out?!" He says, he's so surprised, so worried. I shyly nod. "I did, it was so awful to hear that that happened to you, I just couldn't handle it." I say and insecurely look at him.

"Come here." He calmly says and pats the space of bed next to him, he signs for me to sit next to him, he even scooches a little to the end of the bed to make space for me.

I do what he wants me to do and sit next to him. He hisses in pain, but as quietly as he can, he clearly doesn't want me to notice.

"Are you okay?" I ask and look at him. I'm kinda worried about this. If sitting next to him makes him feel pain, then I don't want it.

He nods a little. "Yes, I'm perfect, my stomach hurts a little, but that doesn't stop me from sitting next to you right now, I want you to be here. Thank you for coming."

Jesus Christ, that were a lot of words all in a few seconds. I can't do anything but smile. I lean into him and rest my head on his shoulder, I close my eyes and takes a couple deep breaths.

He kindly wraps his arm around my waist, but without laying his hand on my hip or anything, it's all just showing he's here. He raises his hand a little and strokes my hair, it makes me smile widely.

"It'll be okay, I'm here for you, all the drama will stop." He calmly says in a low and soft voice. I nod a tiny bit. "I know, I'm glad you're here, well, not in the hospital, but here for me. You're my safety place."

He rests his cheek on my head, I can feel he's smiling widely. "You're my happy place." He responds. My heart melts, isn't he the cutest?!

"Jesica got into a 'fight' with a girl from school today, she pushed her when she said nasty things about me. And then Jesica was the one who got in trouble for it." I throw out.

"She did? Well.. that's.. interesting..?" He says, he's clearly surprised. "I don't really think it's good to go back to her, after she hurt you like that, how would you know it won't happen again? The relationship will never be the same." He says, it's almost like he's defending himself, but why?

Is he afraid of loosing me? Is that it? Is he trying to keep me for himself or is that just me going crazy.. Whatever it is, it probably has a good reason behind it and he's a good person, so it won't be bad.

"I know.. I'm just.. Maybe I'm just trying to hold on to what I used to have before, maybe that's it. She meant the world to me in the past, it was hard to let go of her, I never recovered and now maybe... Maybe now that she's trying to get me back, I'm willing to do it because she used to be the most amazing person in the past." I say and look down at the bed. This is all so confusing.

"That's true, maybe the past was amazing, I just don't think it's smart to go back to someone that made you so insecure and isolated." He honestly says.

I sigh and nod a little. "On one hand I'd like her to choke in all her lipsticks, but on the other I want to start over again with her. She used to be so worth it, now I just don't know anymore. It's all so confusing."

He hugs me weakly, his body clearly needs time to heal before using its power to hug people.

"I want to change the subject, I can't think about her right now, I need to fix everything else first." I say and sigh again, I can feel there's a lump in my throat. Life can be so exhausting.

"Hey.." He calmly says and lifts up my chin gently, to make me look at him. "We'll figure everything out on its own time, okay?"

I full away from his fingers and rest my head on his shoulder again. "Yeah, I know.. It's just..." I'm trying to find the right word "tiring, it's all just very tiring." I decide to say.

He nods, I can feel in his shoulder. "What would you like to talk about?" He friendly asks.

"How's it going with your family? Does your brother know you're here?" I ask.

"They uh, took away my phone. I can't really let him know.. My parents act like he doesn't even exist. It's all so messed up." He says, he's clearly done with all the family drama.

"I'm so sorry, but.. About your brother.. I would like to invite him over for Christmas." I say and look up to see Sam's face.

His facial expression goes from there to there, so many emotions cross him face. "You would do that..?" He says, he's almost speechless.

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Heyoo that was the chapter already. Please leave a comment with your opinions:) and vote;)

Also, the busy week filled with exams is over now. So I can post regularly again:)

Till next time

I love you xxx

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