Against the World

12

"Hey Do how are you?" I asked softly while sitting down beside him.

"I'm fine." He said quietly.

"You just wake up?"

"Yeah something like that." He said and i smiled.

"You feel ok?"

"Yeah my knee hurts real bad but other than that I'm fine."

"Well as soon as you can come home you can and I'll make sure to take great care of you. Ok?"

"Yeah. I don't wanna be here anymore." He said.

"Well I think you have to stay here for a few days then you'll be out." I said and he nodded. He moved his hand on top of mine and I intertwined our fingers. "I'm sorry Do. I'm a stupid boyfriend aren't I?"

"No." He said. "Your the best boyfriend anyone could ask for Paul." He said and my heart melted.

"Your so sweet." I said smiling.

"It's not your fault, it's no ones fault." He said and i nodded.

"I know." I sighed. I squeezed his hand. We locked eyes for a while. I leaned over and kissed him softly. "Me and you next year." I said and he nodded. "Don't tell anybody though, it's our big secret." He smiled. "You need anything water? Food?" I stood up.

"No." He said. "I just want you to stay with me." I smiled and sat back down. "You know what we can't do for six months."

"What?" I asked.

"Have sex." I scrunched my face up.

"I didn't know you were that needy." I said smiling. He laughed. "But I'll help you when ever you want me to." I said smirking. Someone cleared their throat behind us and I jumped in my seat. I turned around to see John standing there leaning against the door frame.

"Y'all are cute." He said with a smirk on his face.

"Stop." I said smiling.

"Can I talk to you though?" He asked and I looked over at Donovan.

"It's fine. I'm pretty tired anyways. You can go eat lunch or something if you'd like."

"You sure?"

"Yes I'm sure Paul." He said smiling. "See you later?"

"Of course." I said smiling. "Bye Do."

"Bye Paul." He said. We didn't say anything until we pulled up to John's house.

"Can we talk?"

"Yeah?"

"Like inside."

"Yeah duh." I said smiling. We walked in and sat down.

"Paul. You really didn't mean what you told him right? You really aren't gonna wait to be drafted next year."

"I promised him John."

"But Paul what about us!" He said and I looked at him confused. "We dreamed of being drafted together since we were kids! Remember me and you. Our dreams been around longer than your stupid promise to him or even y'all relationship. Your the only one that believed in me when I was little."

"John Stop! We never promised each other that. Like you said, key word "dream" and I do still believe in you John it's just in the reason he's out..."

"Oh so you just decided to date him because you felt bad for him?!"

"No! John!"

"Then why are you dating him!?"

"Because I love him!"

"Does he know that?!"

"No!"

"Then what's the point? If your staying with him for love, what's the point if he doesn't know. He doesn't know you him yet Paul and that's stupid."

"John were not to that point. I'll tell him I love him when the time seems right. That's times just not now. I'm sorry John, it's just we're friends, and I love him."

"But friends before anything. If he loves you Paul then he'll let you get drafted."

"If your my friend and you love me John then you'll let me do what I wanna do and support me." It went silent.

"I do." He said looking away. "It's just everything we've ever imagined, everything we had planned out as kids is gone. All of it. Because of one guy."

"I'm sorry John."

"Quit saying your sorry!" He snapped.

"Well what am I supposed to say?! That it doesn't matter that I love him and promised him! I'm gonna change my mind and get drafted with you?! Because that's not what I'm gonna say John! I love Donovan and love comes before anything else in this fucking world!" I snapped and I slammed the door behind me. I walked back to my house with millions of thoughts in my head. I got in my car and drove back to the hospital. The nodded at me and I walked past them to Donovan's room. "Hey." I said sitting down.

"Hey." He said. "That was fast."

"Yeah we got in a little argument, but hey if he says anything mean to you or says anything about something I said to him about you know it ain't true."

"Ok." He said. "Why'd y'all fight."

"It's stupid I'll tell you later." I said and he nodded. "How you doing?"

"Just the same as I was half an hour ago duh." He said and I laughed. He smiled at me and his smile lit up the room.

"Your so cute." I said and he laughed. I've never felt this way before, I love this man. I've never truly loved somebody before but I knew I love him from the moment I saw him. I was just lying to myself the whole time. Don't lie to yourself and if the right opportunity comes up don't miss it. Kept running through my mind. Did my mom know? Is that what she was saying? Did she know I loved Donovan? Should I get drafted with my best friend instead? So much was running through my mind I couldn't separate one thing from another.

"Paul?" He said.

"I'm sorry so much is going through my mind right now."

"It's ok. Oh guess what I found out!"

"What?"

"I get to go home tomorrow."

"That's great!" I said smiling. There was something inside of me that made me feel different though.

"Why don't you go home I know so much is on your mind." He said and i nodded.

"Bye Do."

"Bye Paul."