Against the World

13

"What if I should stay with John? I've known him since I can remember. He was right we did have it all planned out. One of us first the other one second we didn't care which one. But Donovan I love him. But what's the fucking point if he doesn't know?!" I cried. "I just wanna talk to my best friend." I stopped. My best friend wasn't in the house. My best friend. "My best friend." I whispered. "We're more like brothers. We're best friends." I said remembering what I had told John just a few weeks ago. "What if we can't be anything more than best friends?" I cried. I called John. "Can you come over?" I whispered.

"I'll be there in less than a minute." He said and I smiled. He walked into my room a few minutes later and he sat down beside me. "What's going on?"

"Everything." I cried. "I wanna get drafted with you but I wanna stay with Donovan because I love him but what's the point if he doesn't know I love him and..."

"Shhh Paul it's ok." He said pulling me against him. He ran his thumb up and down my arm.

"What do I do John."

"I don't know." He whispered. "I'm not you. But what ever you do I'll support." He said. "You still have half a year." He said and i nodded.

"Thank you."

"You wanna talk more?"

"No." I said and he nodded.

"Hey you get some sleep, I'll bring Donovan home tomorrow ok."

"Yeah ok." I said and I laid down and fell sleep. I woke up late the next day to Donovan and John laughing. "Hey I'm sorry I slept so late." I said.

"Hey Paul." Donovan said smiling. I sat beside him.

"How are you?" I asked.

"Glad to be home." He said and I nodded and he leaned against my shoulder.

"Y'all are so cute." John said smiling. His phone rang. "Shoot I have to run, bye guys!" He said running out the door.

"So you glad to be home?"

"Yeah."

"Thats good." I said smiling. I kissed his forehead. He smiled up at me. "I love you." I said and he gasped.

"What?!" He said.

"I um uh I..."

"Paul!" He said and his lips connected with mine. I smiled and kissed I'm back. "I love you to." He said smiling. I smiled and leaned my forehead against his and looked into his eyes. I now have a reason to stay. A reason way bigger than a reason to leave. "Paul." Donovan mumbled and I woke up. "Can you move a little bit?"

"I'm sorry." I mumbled and I moved to where I was almost falling off the couch and fell asleep with him laying against my chest. I woke up the next day with him in only his underwear pressed up against my chest. I was only in my underwear but that's normal because that's how I go to bed. I wrapped my arms around him and went back to sleep.

"Paul! Donovan!" John gasped and we both sat up. Well we both woke up. I sat up and he sat on top of me.

"What? John what time is it?"

"I don't know." He said shrugging. I laid back down and pulled Donovan back on top of me. Donovan smiled and kissed my jawline. I smiled at him then closed my eyes.

"John I'm just getting used to our time zone again let me sleep." I mumbled and I guess he nodded or said ok because he left. I rolled over and jumped awake to Donovan yelling ouch. "Do!" I said and I sat up. "Are you ok?"

"Yeah." He said and I gasped.

"Your knee is it ok?"

"Yeah it's fine just help me up."

"Are you sure?" I asked and he sat back on the sofa.

"Yes I'm fine!" He snapped.

"I'm sorry I just didn't wanna hurt you."

"No I'm sorry, it's just the pain meds they have me on make me snap easily." He said and i nodded. "So for the next six months know I'm actually never mad at you."

"Ok." I said smiling. I pulled him against me and he kissed my jawline.

"Just know I love you." He said and I smiled.

"Your so sweet." I said smiling. "I just wish you were off your pain meds so I knew that you truly meant it and you weren't just thinking strange."

"Do you think I'm gonna tell you I love you and not mean it?"

"Well no but..."

"I do mean it Paul." He said. "I love you. I've loved you since the day I met you. When I ran into you I didn't know what to say. I knew you asked me what my name was but I just couldn't remember my damn name. Then you told me your name was Paul and it was like I could talk to you for hours. I've never been in love until I met you Paul. I didn't even know what it felt like to truly love someone. But once I met you I knew immediately and I knew there was no way you liked me back because someone like you never deserves someone like me. Then I went and traded you like garbage." He said and we both laughed. "But now I'm here. Even if the road to get here was hard and it's still gonna be hard along the way, I wouldn't change it for anything. As long as I have you by my side."