Been Here All Along

32| forward

"It doesn't matter how fast you run, the pain will always run faster" - Clay Evans

Anthony just dropped me off at my apartment with Kaila and left to go to his own house. Kaila is out buying groceries, and I am home alone.

   Instead of basking in the silence, I decided there was someone I owned a long overdue phone call.

   "Josie Pappstein, no way," the familiar, soothing voice answered. I could hear the grin in his tone. It was enough to make me smile.

   "Hi, Joel," I replied softly. "I'm sorry I've been so out of touch." I told him we'd stay in touch, but we lost touch almost instantly. We talked a little at first, but just drifted I guess.

   "Effort is a 2 way street, it's okay, it happens. How are you?"

   "Um," I sighed. "You know, I've been better." I told him, honestly. "Ian was called back into active duty last week."

   "Wow, that's insane. He's only been home for a few months."

   "I know." I twiddled my thumbs. "Life moves on, though, so I just have to keep moving forward with it, ya know? How are you?"

   "Mad respect for you always, Josie," he said, his tone genuine. "I'm doing really good, though. Football is going great."

   I hate that it's taken Ian's absence for me to realize how much I miss Joel's presence, but I do. He's such a great guy and a great friend to have. It sucks that he lives all the way in Michigan now, the other side of the country.

   "That's awesome, I'm happy for you." Truly, I was. It brought some happiness into my deprived life, knowing that Joel is out making the most of the opportunity he'd earned. He's thriving, and I love that for him.

   "Thank you," He said. "Are you going to the annual Westchester New Years Eve party tonight?"

   I shrugged. I haven't been in the party-mood lately. "I don't know."

   "I think you should. I know a pretty cool former employee that will be attending. His name might rhyme with Swol Baddison."

   A big grin lit up on my face. "You're home?"

   "I'm at the airport, I'll be flying in around 5."

   "If Swol Baddison is there, so am I."

   "Good, I cant wait to see you."

   "You, too." I bid my goodbyes with Joel and hung up.

   I value my friendship with Joel so much because of how selfless he always was when it came to me. He could've given up on me after the first or second time I denied him. He could've shunned me for not being emotionally available, but he never did. He was always by my side in a completely platonic way.
   I should've valued my friendship with him these past couple of months too. It's not fair that I only lean on him when I need support.

~•~

   "Dang, Josie! Go off, sis," Kaila whistled when I walked out of my room. I was wearing a gold sparkly shirt, black spandex-like shorts, and sheer black tights underneath. For shoes, I wore plain black heels since my shirt was flashy enough as is.

   Kaila was wearing a tight black, v-neck dress that was sparkly with a pair of black heels. Her hair was curled and up in a ponytail.

   "Look who's talking," I winked back.

   She was so happy when I told her that Joel would be attending tonight, and even happier to hear that I decided I would attend the party at Westchester's, too.