My Muse || Knj ✔️

25

"...fans are going crazy about some rumours that were spread about concert day, apparently there was an attack and everyone is worried as they now know that Kim Namjoon or RM  Of bts has been hospitalised. We need our answers soon."

You were sat in your hotel room slumped on the sofa watching the early news however you weren't expecting the news report to speak about the group, you guessed they really were that popular.

You know you shouldn't watch what people have to say but you couldn't take your eyes away, you were glued, each word they said was hurtful, you began to feel guilty again, you know it was eating away at you as you kept smiling in front of him, you really tried to hide your sadness.

But now as they kept talking about him and how hurt he was it just kept eating and eating away your strength.

"I feel dreadful for the idol! It could be a possibility his soulmate did this! Without even knowing, this world is sick."

Your body slowly getting up and making its way over towards the rooms door, clicking it to locked before slipping back over to the sofa, the interviewers words slowly blurring Away in your head only as background noise.

Their conversation getting worse as they stick on the subject of soulmates,  they blame you for his pain.

"...it's all my fault..." you whisper to yourself as you begin to focus back on the reporter, their voice ringing in your ears loudly.

"Apparently he suffered from major bruising and soulmate marks the company haven't confirmed it however fans in the hospital caught photos and videos of him in the canteen with the rest of the members!"

You gulp, you caused those bruises...sweat dripping from your forehead you stand up and head towards the bathroom. Maybe a shower could help you feel better...

You turn the water on and let it run before stepping in, you stand there thoughts running around your brain. How could he still perform even after going through that pain! The pain you caused. You choke as you tried to hold back your tears. It's harder to show him you love Him when your hurting on the inside, you just never want to show him your pain...he's too special to you now, you don't ever want to upset him.

You couldn't feel the tears that stream down your face as they mix with the hot steamy water of the shower. You just stand there. No care on how long you take, no care in the world about how much your crying. But you only focus on what those people said, "I'm a terrible soulmate..." you choke out.

Holding onto your arms as you whimper slowly, "I should've been born soulless...he deserves someone else..!" You cry out finally getting out of the shower and drying yourself off before slipping into your comforting koala pyjamas.

You stare at yourself in the mirror, noticing all the ''flaws'' that highlight on your face, how the redness around your eyes contrasts with your complexion, how the wet strands of hair all clump together as the towel just sits lonely on top of your head, your eye colour defined from the tears and the redness around your nose only proves more that you have been crying for hours upon end.

Slipping from the bathroom you make your way over to the bed, ready for another sleepless night of thoughts running around your head.

Screaming to yourself you cry out as you cuddle the pillow, hot tears escaping your eyes as the blame and guilt drowns you from all reality, drawing you away from the banging on the door and worried shouts that echo from the outside. You couldn't help yourself but lightly pinch your skin, a part of you reaching out to pull you from this trauma.