𝕀𝕗 𝕓𝕪 𝕔𝕙𝕒𝕟𝕔𝕖 . - J.Mz & B.Hd

12 - Broken hearts.

Joe could say he was fine with not talking to Ben for about three days. Yes he could say that, but would it be true? Probably not, but since he was lying the whole time this wouldn't be so bad right? Yeah probably not..

Joe laid in his bed with his phone, he was scared. The position he laid in, the darkness of the room, just everything made him think about how he used to be. He said to himself, trying to proof a point, that it wasn't that bad and that Ben could fuck off. But when he would think about the thought of Ben actually leaving he could feel his throat burning in pain and his tears well up. So what did he want? What was his problem? Why was he so difficult to read and understand for others but also for himself. At times like these he didn't even know himself anymore. 

Rami:

- Hey you ok?

- Probably not since I haven't seen you in 3 days.

- Is it about Ben?

Joe read the messages but was not in the mood to actually respond back. He put his phone on his side and turned around looking hopelessly at the ceiling in deep thought. Joe wanted this to stop, whatever this is. His thoughts roomed through his head and that's apparently when he lost himself for a moment.

Joe grabbed his phone but instead of responding to Rami's text he started dialing a number he didn't call in a long while. The phone was ringing, four times until it got replaced with a deep ' Hello? '

Joe waited for a few seconds to breathe and calm down. " Hello? " The voice said again and Joe gathered all his courage. " H-hey. " Fuck. Why did he had to stutter.

" Joe? " The voice asked and Joe looked down in actual regret of calling the number. " Yes. " Joe replied, gripping his phone tighter. " Is everything okay? " The boy on the other line asked. " Just uhm, feeling like shit. " Joe answered and it took only a couple of seconds when the boy sighed followed by: " Send me your address. " 

And so Joe did.

Joe waited impatiently, tapping his foot on the floor nervously. It was only a couple of minutes later when he heard knocking on the door. He walked towards the door, more sprinting. When he opened it he was met with the tall person infront of him.

" Hey. " He greeted as Joe looked at him in actual disbelief, he really came. " Gwil, hi. " He breathed out, inviting him inside.

Gwilym, also know as Gwil. He was, as you could say, Joe's ex. Yes Joe was straight- Is straight.. But when Joe's life was going downhill he really did not give attention to what he was fucking. And that was when he met Gwil, a boy who actually really understood what he thought. That was also more of the reason why he didn't like Ben at first, the way Ben talked with Joe and made him understand made him have major flashbacks to Gwil.

" That's been long. " Gwil started taking a sip of his drink that Joe offered him. " Yeah... " Joe trailed off, kind of awkward to be in one room with your ex but Gwil told him to call him any moment when he needed to, since Joe was emotionally damaged by everything he was too stubborn and just deleted his number. He was surprised that he still knew the phone number. 

" So, how's it been? " Joe asked trying to get rid of the silence. " Good, yeah, " Gwil said looking at Joe. " and you? " Joe sighed deeply and scoffed. " Well it's alot. " He began. Joe ran his hand through his hair letting out a short laugh at the thought of just everything. " Well, it's surely alot.. " Gwil replied making Joe look up. " Just in these couple of minutes I've seen you actually ask me how I am, you called me over, you scoffed, you let out a laugh and you actually reacted? " Even though Gwil was always there for Joe it was still difficult for Gwil to get the smallest emotion out of the boy so seeing this is indeed ' Alot '. 

" Oh, yeah.. " Joe trailed off blushing in embarrassment. " What happened? " Gwil asked in disbelief. " I, " He sighed before continuing. " I don't know. I was so stupid- I AM stupid. But oh my god I've never expected to ever live my life like this- I cried Gwil, cried. " Joe said in one breath. " That's funny, when did you cry when you were seven? " Gwil joked but when he saw that Joe didn't actually laugh he grew quiet. " Y-you cried? " He asked in confusion and Joe only nodded. " And the worst thing is.. " Joe started making his friend lean in. 

" I felt my heart skip a beat. " 

Of course this would be funny in any comedy movie but to be honest, Gwil was horrified and so was Joe. The thing is, feelings and Joe, they didn't go well with each other. The fact that Gwil used to try and see Joe smile even once and that now he was a total different person made Gwil kind of relieved and happy. When he was with Joe two years ago he never really thought about the boy ever finding life since he got through so much. He looked at Joe who was obviously stressed and confused. " Who is it? " Gwil asked after a while of them just sitting. " His name is, Ben. " Joe's voice cracked at the name. He furrowed his eyebrows and looked down again. " That doesn't seem so happy, what's wrong? " The taller asked seeing the boy suddenly get a wave of sadness over him because of the name. Joe sighed as he fidgeted with his fingers. " We had a fight. " Joe explained. " So? Couples have that all the tim- "

" We are not a couple. " Joe cut him off making Gwil only mouth an ' Oh. ' in slightly understanding why Joe wasn't happy with Ben. " We fuck, that's all. " Joe added, sadness in his voice. " We also didn't really make up or anything, " Joe let out a bitter laugh. " He only hugged me and then left, it was confusing for me but it's okay. I didn't expect this to last long or anything- " Joe's voice cracked feeling his throat getting sore. 

Gwil looked at his friend and was utterly in shock when he saw tears falling down. He knew what was wrong, why Joe felt like this and why he cried when only thinking bout him but he also knew that no one had to ever confront Joe with his own feelings. It would only make him more mad so he just let the boy cry.

no one:

my thoughts: gotta make ben jealous 🤪🤪

anyways ty all for the support i love y- 🤮🤢 hahs jk love u anyways. i was about to make joe a drug addict but that wouldnt be fun u know?