𝕀𝕗 𝕓𝕪 𝕔𝕙𝕒𝕟𝕔𝕖 . - J.Mz & B.Hd

18 - Cause you are the only one.

Joe walked away further and further from his apartment. He could lie and say he didn't feel nervous but for what? It's just Ben, no need to worry, right? Even though they acted like strangers when they were together it didn't matter right? Joe was trying to get rid of his crush anyways so maybe it was good that they weren't all that good anymore. Maybe it was good for them both to create distance and cut it off since Joe was scared, he was scared to actually admit that he fell so hard for someone. 

While walking towards the bench he saw the back of the boy's head. Did he fucking run or something? Joe asked himself. How did he even get here so fast? 

" Hey. " Joe said and saw Ben snapping his head back making Joe slightly giggle. " O-oh hey. " Ben was obviously nervous but Joe couldn't judge  him for that since he too, was filled with nervousness. It's funny right? Two people who used to know each other so well and spend almost all their days together and that now, they can't even hold a normal conversation. Joe and Ben sat there on the bench in the park. Only light that was visible were the street lanterns. It was cold, well of course it was because Joe forgot to bring his coat. It was quiet, they both looked down not knowing what to say. A short breeze came by making Joe slightly shiver. Ben eyed the boy who was squeezing himself together to make himself warmer. 

Ben moved closer looking at his hand, he wanted to, but he couldn't. " Do you, want my jacket? " Ben asked quietly making Joe turn his head towards the boy but of course he didn't know that Ben moved closer. They grew silent, as if it wasn't quiet already. Joe held eye contact with Ben and when he noticed that they both looked at each other's lips at the same time he flinched and shifted his eyes back to Ben's eyes. Cold or not, at this moment he couldn't feel it anyways, only the fast beating of his heart. Joe didn't even notice him leaning in really slowly. It was nerve wrecking, their lips didn't touch yet. It was only them switching their gazes from lips to eyes. Even though they didn't talk much it felt as if they told stories with only their eyes. 

Joe looked down as he sighed in realization. He didn't want to start this again, he didn't want to end up crying inside his room for two hours anymore. He just wanted to forget and never look back again. Joe slowly leaned back but he got stopped by a pair of lips. Joe inhaled deeply as Ben kissed him. When he closed his eyes it felt as if his heart was resting perfectly inside. He felt his blood pumping and his mind clear up. It was as if it was some kind of cure for him. " Don't leave me again. " Ben said when they parted. He rested his head against Joe's. " Please. " Ben croaked out and Joe was quiet. Leave? Why would he leave? He never left right? Ben kissed him again, cupping his face softly. " I need you. " The first thought that ran through Joe's head was, ' Need you. ' of course, only to fuck. " No, not only to fuck. " Ben spoke making Joe flinch. Did he perhaps say it out loud? Ben kissed him again softly before parting again and only looking at Joe's eyes. Then he leaned in again, kissing him slowly. Joe's hands moved to Ben's jacket and gripped it. 

He didn't know how but he also didn't complain as he got pressed against the wall of the elevator. Nor did he complain when he stumbled inside Ben's apartment. They did it so many times so why was Joe even shy when Ben took off his shirt? 

Ben licks at Joe's collarbone, tongue running over the mark he made just seconds before. Joe is a whining mess underneath him, hips rutting up automatically to grind against Ben. They're both undressed, Ben hands dwarfing Joe as their fingers clasp together above the latter's head.

Ben takes Joe's nipple into his mouth, teething at the bud as his hand comes down to wrap around Joe's cock. He starts to slowly jerk him off, letting his thumb rub at the slit, and Joe gasps, shutting his eyes as his nails dig into Ben bicep.

His grip loosens when Ben shuffles down, and then there's nothing, no sound, and no touch. It's that very silence that forces Joe to slowly open one eye, and the look on Ben's face is a very unexpected sight.

There's no smirk, no trademark grin, no gleaming twinkle in his eyes. He looks... careful. Like Joe's three seconds from breaking.

If Joe wasn't one hundred and fifty five percent turned on, his dick would probably revert into its flaccidity with the mood-killer that is Ben Hardy's gaze. Then his eyes flicker up and meet Joe's own, and Joe has never felt so shy and timid during sex before. For some reason it makes everything much more intimate, and Joe doesn't know how to explain the lump in his throat that's forming. He's torn between the urge to slap Ben on the side of the head and just tell him to suck his dick, or letting him continue to stare at him like he's a piece of glass that will shatter if touched.

But then the moment ends as swiftly as it comes, and Ben bows his head, pressing a kiss to the tip of his cock. Joe lets out another little whimper, nearly tearing into the sheets as the heat of Ben's mouth encompasses the rest of his cock. He takes him in one go, no teasing or characteristic remark.

It's all too much, too warm and hot on him, and Joe can't contain it like he usually can.

"B-Ben, I'm c-coming," Joe manages to get out, before his back arches and he's releasing into Ben's mouth, and the younger swallows it all down. His heart is thudding loud at the sound of his name being spoken from Joe's lips.

They cut the foreplay short after, because Joe is begging Ben to please, please put his cock in him, and for a reason Joe can't fathom, the latter isn't in the mood to tease. His fingers are slicked up shortly, and he works Joe open quickly, letting the moans from the elder fill the room as Ben's cock stands erect. Ben isn't his usual self, cocky and arrogant and talkative.

His fingers find the condom and he tears the wrapper, about to roll it on, before Joe is raising himself up on his elbows. "No, no condom," Joe breathes, eyes locked onto Ben's as he pushes the latex away.

Confusion immediately manifests on Ben's face, "Joe, are you sure?"

Joe nods, and Ben leans down to kiss him, lips so gentle on the elder's. He makes sure his cock is lubed up enough, stopping for a moment before he pushes in. It's new for him too, never having had sex without protection, but it's the flit in his heart with Joe's affirmation that is driving him to do it.

He slowly presses the tip in past the rim, and Joe's breath hitches significantly, eyes squeezing as Ben pushes further in.

He never expected this to ever happen, with a boy and something serious. Joe had many people but with Ben he just felt, different.

But it's his reality right now, and for some reason, it doesn't feel wrong.

They fuck slow and deep, mouths attached to fill the silences that fall in between every moan and grunt as Ben thrusts in harder. Ben pulls out before he comes, and wraps hands around the both of them, jerking them off until they release together, a mess of white come sprayed between them.

Ben is the one who gets up to clean them up, wiping Joe down before stealing another kiss, and Joe falls asleep before he gets back to bed, warm and cozy in a bed that isn't his own.

It's in the middle of the early morning when Joe wakes up, and the realization hits him extremely quick and full of regret. He doesn't wait, slipping out of bed straightaway with great care to not wake Ben. He dresses, making sure he doesn't forget anything, taking one last glance at Ben before shutting the bedroom door and padding into the living room.

And just like that, he leaves.

EWEW EW EWEWEW i cringed so hard while making that IM SO SORRY I FAILED YALL 😔 yall thought ' omg the smut scene is gon be lit 🙈🙈 ' WHILE IT WAS PURE SHIT ew ok bye deleting my shit brb 🤪🤪