A little Luck (GLs)

Home

     I walked to the door, my heels killing me. But that was good... That stopped me from thinking about what I had done and what I was about to do. I didn't knock at the door. I didnt have to. Here, I was home. Sort of...

     My mom came out of the kitchen, wearing a beautiful, red, summer dress, her blonde hair gathered up in a stylish, yet simple bun. She froze and I tried to give her a smile.

    "Hi, mom!" She took another step toward me and stopped again, hesitating to get any closer. "I hope you don't mind I came by, but I missed the little guy and I came to take him home." Kate, don't be stupid! I told myself. You came to take him away, not home. You don''t really have a home, now do you? Oh, God! I can be such a bitch to myself sometimes!

    "Kate?" She even sounded hesitant, almost as if she was afraid that if she raised her voice, I would get scared and vanish into thin air, "You came..." My heart clenched into my chest and breathing became quite a difficult task.

    "I'm sorry I didn't pay you any visit in the past four years, but you know I couldn't. It was too dangerous for me and for the little guy and for Nick... I was scared mom, ok? I was scared, I ran and didn't come back for a long time, but now I'm here, so..." So what? That was supposed to erase everything I've put her and dad through? Since babbling was the thing I was best at, I started babbling, making absolutely no sense.

   "Kate!" Mom said, finally coming close enough, so that I could pull her into my arms. "It's ok, sweety. You're home now. You're home..." She kept saying I was home, so why did I feel so out of place? Mom was gently stroking my back, trying to ease my crying. "Everything will be fine, you'll see. You'll tell me what happened and we'll find an answer to whatever problem you may have. Ok, sweety? Everything will be just fine..." I felt one of her tears rolling onto my neck and I stopped. I couldn't let her see me like this anymore. It wasn't right. It wasn't doing her any good.

   "I..." How could I tell her that Nick -the man I respected the most until now- was cheating on me? I took a deep breath knowing she deserved to know the truth -maybe not all the truth, but at least a part of it. "I'm having some troubles with Nick. He... We've got some prolems, but I'm confident we'll be ok soon. I just need some time and space away from him, that's all."

   "Well, that's ok, I think. You can stay here, of course, until you're ready to face and solve your problems." Actually, that was my greatest problem. I couldn't stay here and I was aware of that. Nick or -God forbid!- Lucas would have come to look for me here, first.

   "I don't know mom. I told you, I need some space. It just doesn't seem enough." I couldn't have told her the truth this time...

   'Oh!" She said and then she let go of me. "You're not staying here... Of course!" Mom went back to the kitchen and I slowly followed her. She poured herself a glass of water and drank it all. "I know, Kate! I'm not stupid." She simply spit the words out. "I know Nick's not the father." My mouth dropped open and I gasped.

   "He told you?" My voice was a strangled whisper.

   "He didn't have to. Your son told me. He told me it was your secret." My Luck... "After that it was easy enough for me to put two and two together. Plus he looks a lot like his real father. I just... I've never wanted to admit the possibility before, but I think I've always sort of known it." She stopped and turned to face me. "If that's it, you don't have to run anymore. I'm not judging you and I'm not mad. Just stay!" She had tears in her eyes.

   "I need to go for now, but I promise this time I'll come back." I was chocked.

   "I can't let you go again." Mom was violently shaking her head.

   "Mom, look at me!" She did as I told her to do. "If you love me, you must let me go before I make a fatal mistake." She was terrified so I decided to explain myself. "He's back, mom... Lucas... He's back. I'm not strong enough to resist him. Especially not now, when eveything Nick does is to push me into his arms. So I need to go. I need to go before I give in."

   She seemed enlightened.

   "Where are you going to go?"

   "I don't know..."

   "Please, don't do this to me again! You must tell me! I can't lose you again, Kate. Once was enough."

   "I just don't know, mom. I'll let you know as soon as I get there, but I don't know where I'm going yet." She took a deep breath and slowly let it out.

   "Fine... Call me when you get there and let me know if you need anything." Her voice was steady but pained. My heart couldn't take it anymore.

   "Where is he? We need to go." Mom nodded and headed upstairs. Small footsteps running toward me let me know that my son had missed me at least as much as I had missed him.

   "Mommy!!!" He yelled from the top of the stairs. My heart finally filled with joy and I beamed at him. His baby blue eyes were looking at me with love.

   "My love!" I yelled as well, opening my arms for him. He ran to me and threw himself in my embrace. "Oh, God! You have no idea how much I've missed you. You grew so big!" He smiled and kissed my cheek.

   "Don't be silly, mommy! Kids don't grow up so fast and it's been only two days since I'm here." I couldn't have been prouder.

   "Hmm, you must be right. I think mommy needs some sleep, because she started seeing things." He laughed and that made me so happy. "Come on now! We're going on a little trip, you and me."

   "What about Nick?" He asked, getting serious all of a sudden.

   "Well... Nick had something to do, but he's gonna be waiting for us at home, ok? Mom, can you please, bring us his bag?" She picked up a small, blue backpack and handed it to me.

   We headed for the door together and mom huged us both one last time.

   "Be careful and don't forget to call me! I mean it, Kate!" I nodded and opened the car doors.

   "Get in, cricket!"

    After putting the bag in the trunck, I got in and started the car. In less than fifteen minutes we were leaving the city behind. Looking at my son I knew that wherever I went, if he was there... I was home.

    "Can we sing something, mommy?" He asked.

    "Sure, cricket! You lead, I'll follow."

    "Hmm... I can be brown..."

    "I can be blue..."

    I can be violet sky...