A little Luck (GLs)

Utterly broken

  The front door creaked when I opened it, but I barely heard it. I had too many thoughts on my mind to care about something so insignifiant.

  Nick was seated on the couch, his head in his hands, but that's not what got my attention.

   "What are you doing? Where are you going?" I asked trying to keep my composure. My eyes kept going over the three large bags on the floor and Nick's eyes followed mine.

   "We need to talk, Kate."

   "What happened?" He didn't answer and I took another step toward him.

   "I'm leaving."

   "I can see that, but where and why?"

   "I'm going home for a while, until I decide what I should do next." He was avoiding the 'why', but I had to know.

   "Nick! Why?"

   "Because you're unhappy, Kate. I can't stand seeing you like this. I'm not the right man for you. You know that, I know that, even your mom knows that..."

   "How can you say that? After all these years? Of course, I am happy." He grimaced.

   "No, Kate, you're not. You just don't wanna hurt me, and you have no idea how much that means to me, but it's time I returned the favour. You love him, Kate. You know you do." I shook my head, but he went on. "Yes, Kate, you do! You love him and the only thing standing between the two of you is me. Was me... I want a divorce." My own heart was killing me from the inside and I had to bite my tongue to stop my scream.

   "Don't! Please! You can't do this to me! To Luck... Oh, my God! What am I gonna tell Luck if you leave?" My cheeks were wet and tears kept rolling down my face.

   "I am thinking about both of you, Kate! He deserves to grow up with both his parents by his side and you deserve to grow old next to the man you love." 

   "I love you!" I almost screamed.

   "It's not the same." He whispered and grabbed his bags.

    Nick started for the door and I threw my arms around him, silently beging for him to stay.

    "Please! If you still love me, then just stay! I need you. I don't know how to live without you." My voice was chocked. I heard his sobb and for a moment I thought I won him over.

   "I don't... Not anymore. I'm sorry!" I took a step back. He didn't love me... Not anymore.

   "Why?" I whispered.

   "It's not your fault, Kate. I fell in love with somebody else." Oh! Of course he did... He had the right to love and be loved too, after all.

   "She's a lucky woman..." Was all I could manage to say. I took a few steps away from him and he walked past me. Nick stopped for a moment right before he left and gave me a pained look.

   "I'm sorry, Kate! I've never meant to hurt you, I swear." I nodded my head while wiping my tears. "I'll make things easy and talk to the best lawyer in Seattle. You'll only have to sign the divorce papers, I promise." I nodded again, because that was all I could do not to fall apart. "In two weeks tops, you'll be a free woman. I promise you won't ever have to suffer because of me again. Good bye, Kate!" I saw the tears in his eyes and all my courage vanished. I started crying worse than ever before. I started crying as if my heart was torn out of my chest because that's exactly how I felt. "I'm so so sorry!" And then he left. I heard him driving away and I didn't find it in me to stand up anymore.

   I was left crying on the floor for two hours. The phone started ringing and I had to stand up and answer before it woke Luck up. That's also when I noticed it was 2 am.

   "Hello?"

   "Sweety, is everything ok? Nick just called and told me to check on you."

   "No, mom. Everything is not ok. Nick wants to get a divorce and I don't know why, I have no idea what I'll tell Luck and I've spent the last two hours crying on the floor. I'm not ok." I didn't find it necessrry to tell mom about Lucas as well, even though that was the worst part of all.

   "Oh, God, Kate! I'm so sorry to hear that, sweety! Can I do anything for you?"

   "Actually, yes. Can you take Luck for a while? I don't know what to tell him yet."

   "Sure, sweety! I'll come pick him up tomorrow, if that's ok. Do you need anything else?"

   "No, mom, that's all, thanks!"

   "Get some sleep, Kate! Please!" 

   "I'll try, mom." I hang up and went upstairs. After checking on my sleeping son, I headed to my room. The open doors of the empty closet made me feel abandoned even though the rest of his things were still here. The two rings on my finger were too much and I had to remove them.

   Finding myself alone in bed I felt utterly broken. I had lost everything in just one night... The only thing helping me sleep was Lucas's smell on my skin.