Afterlife

Regulus 'The Embodiment of Sarcasm' Brotherly Reunion

Sirius couldn't deny that he was putting it off.

Playing with pranks and watching Harry all day long was fun and games, but it was a pathetic attempt at not talking to his brother, who was constantly moping in a corner, not really talking to anyone.

When Regulus did talk, he was talking to young children. His face softened and he would grin, playing with them to cheer them up about eternally being a child in the afterlife. Sirius had watched him be like that around the children and had then decided he was worth talking to. After all, he was a Black. There was no way in hell Sirius was going near Walburga or Orion.

So Sirius nervously walked over to Regulus' corner, him being slumped in a corner yet again, muttering to himself.

"Brother if you had seen yourself now, standing here as a nine year old you would've smacked yourself," Sirius announced.

"And you think young you wouldn't?" Regulus glanced up. "For getting killed, right when Harry needed you most?"

Sirius stopped to consider how damn clever his brother had become in the time he had left him, then whistled. "Touché, brother, touché. You've had a while to get your head around the whole sarcasm thing."

"Yes, I suspect murder really sparks the ability to spontaneously pun. Or maybe it's just something to do with living with you for so long? You warped my brain in so many ways."

"Oh I recognise that phrase," Sirius pointed a finger. "Hmm. Didn't mother used to say it? Oh- yes, I remember. Don't go warping your brother's brain, she hissed at me in my first year at the Christmas holidays. I really don't know why I stayed as long as I did."

"Didn't want to impose on James' parents anymore than you already would do in the future." Sirius raised an eyebrow; that probably was one of the reasons he had stuck it out at Grimmauld Place for so long. Regulus really had caught on to a lot.

"In my defence, the Cruciatus curse is not really the most fun evening activity for a family to participate in," Sirius paused, "At least they had their perfect Slytherin son to make up for Mistake Child."

"Good thing they were dead by the time I stole a horcrux from Tom Riddle himself and then was murdered by The Master, the Lord himself. Two betrayals from their own children. They'd probably have killed themselves in sheer horror of their offspring."

Sirius chuckled. "Ah I had missed your wording, Reg. Also what the hell is a horcrux?"

Regulus told him the whole spiel and then looked at Sirius gravely. "I'm afraid you've been in the presence of one for a while as well."

"Oh frick I knew the coin I found in Knockturn Alley was dodgy, it had this weird glowing aura."

"You think Voldemort hid a part of his soul in a coin?" Regulus' eyebrows raised as he stared in disbelief at his brother.

"that's what I would do!" Sirius decided. "My souls travels around the world, probably ends up at Gringotts, is super secure. Perfect. Harry wouldn't be able to chase down a specific coin. Why choose something so ostentatious as an amulet, that's just obvious and stupid."

"That's...actually a good point."

"Thank you! Finally, I've been telling James that I'm smarter than stupid Voldyface but he refuses to believe me. C'mon, we have to tell him about this."

Suffice to say, James was more concerned about the fact that Harry ("HARRY? MY SON?") was a horcrux than Sirius' compliment from Regulus, but it was the thought that counted. Who knows, maybe Severus and Regulus could form a club of rejected death eaters and become best friends.