Afterlife

Oubliette

"Sorry, what is happening right now?" The voice of Lily Evans loomed above them as Sirius and James glanced at each other wearily.

"We're in an oubliette," Remus sighed as though he was so done with these two sheepish fools. "Can you get us out of here, please?"

Lily was speechless for a moment, "Sorry, what?"

"We're in an oubliette," he repeated again patiently, the teacher part of him shining through.

"Speak English," James hissed back.

Who doesn't know the word oubliette, Remus thought, looking at James as though he was truly lacking any knowledge of the English language whatsoever.

"Y'know, an oubliette. A prison, where the only entrance and exit is simply the trapdoor we just fell through."

Sirius groaned, "You mean to say...the only way of getting out of this is pulling myself up out of that trapdoor," he gestured aggressively towards the source of light. "You're trying to tell me Remus, that I have to do exercise to get myself out of this situ?"

"I have to admit that was not what I expected to come out of your mouth but I'm not surprised." Lily seemed to have gotten over her shock that they had managed to end up in such a place.

"Remus or Sirius' mouth?" Her darling husband retorted. Personally, he'd found both the responses rather odd. He'd rather be watching Harry look after baby James II, with Teddy the adorable child playing as well.

"Sadly, both. I think Remus needs to get some more hobbies than inhaling a dictionary, and Sirius needs to go for a jog."

"How dare you?" Sirius and Remus chorused.

"Oubliette is a perfectly viable word," cried Remus, at the same time as Sirius' retort of "I'm dead and single! I don't need to impress anyone, and I sure as hell don't need a summer body!"

"Y'know what I'm just going to leave you three here. You all have common sense. Maybe I'll chuck down a rope if I think you need help in an hour or so. Good luck."

And with that, the fiery red head walked away without a care in the world, very ready to find Severus, Tonks and anyone else interested in the antics of the three idiots and inform them that they had managed to fall into a dungeon.

Why there was an empty prison in the middle of the void was impossible to know, though.

—

After a ten minute brainstorming session, the three decided on a solution.

"I wish I could Wingardium Leviosa this sitch," Sirius sighed. Their lack of wands was proving very very unhelpful thus far, but James had his eureka moment.

"We need to climb on each other's shoulders and then the first can climb out," James explained.

"Me, I'm lightest," Remus proclaimed, but Sirius frowned.

"No don't we need me first because then I can pull you both out?"

"True," James noted. "I'll take third though."

The plan was executed without much debate, only slight squabbles about shoulders and "THIS IS PAINFUl, SIRIUS!" and of course the obligatory "THAT'S MY FACE, BLACK!"

A rope was thrown down when it was only James left, Lily tutting and shaking her head as she wordlessly walked away. But they didn't need it.

With the joint effort of Remus and Sirius, somehow they managed to pull him out.

No, sorry, that was the story they told Lily, Tonks, Severus and even Dumbledore.

James was actually left there for another hour before they decided to let him use the rope, but only after they tried the spoon break out without a spoon, jumping and scaling the walls and ceiling like Spider-Man.

Suffice to say, none of them ever wanted to land in an oubliette again.