"I told him that I had to make a decision."
"What decision?"
"Whether I will keep fighting for you or let you go."
After another international incident inv...
A few days since Bucky and I slept together the nightmares started to disappear but that was also because I wasn't really sleeping. Right now I was sitting out on ledge staring at the quiet city in the middle of the night clutching one of those journals in my one hand while my metal hand twitched against my knee. Glancing down at it I tried to remember the days when it was a normal arm but I couldn't. Sighing I just turned my eyes to the journal opening it to read another section of the past. Bucky was asleep in the room behind me, he slept like he never slept before recently and that was true because there was a big difference between being frozen and being asleep. My fingers flipped from the pages until I found the folded corner where I stopped before. I saw Bucky's name in the midst of the words which meant that this was a memory for him also.
November 1943
Last night was filled with heartbreak and happiness at the same time...Steve proved to me last night that I was only a friend in his world. A partner...a fellow soldier nothing more and that shatters my heart. The pain was like losing Michael all over again and all I wanted to do was scream. Then I was stopped...not by Steve but by his best friend Bucky. Bucky and I met in that alleyway too and I broke every order I had to go with Steve to rescue him from HYDRA. He knew I was upset and he was trying to be a friend for me when I needed one. He reminded me who I was..."A strong girl who took on three men in an alleyway to protect someone she didn't even know. A girl who infiltrated an enemy base to save a guy she only met once and a girl who risked everything because she knew it was the right thing. That I deserve someone who appreciates that about me that Steve was a fool." After he said that I will admit I felt a lot better...for some reason I felt something for Barnes...a different feeling from Steve. After that conversation we spent the rest of the night dancing the night away. He was a great dancer...I could feel my heart race every time his hands were around my waist and his breath on my neck made every nerve inside me rise at attention. His blue eyes were so hypnotic, his smile was intoxicating and I couldn't shake the urges I was feeling to kiss him. I didn't...but there were moments where the both of us could've...we were close enough to one another to do it but we didn't. We just laughed and danced enjoying one another's company which was something I think we both needed.
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I stopped reading when I heard Bucky's voice muttering some Russian with fear and panic in his voice. Closing the journal I turned my head towards his direction until I saw his whole body start to spaz in the bed. A small scream of pain escaped from his lips which forced me to jump off the railing and rush over to him, dropping the journal on the floor by my feet.
"Bucky? Bucky wake up!" I replied shaking him with my arms when I saw his metal arm starting to twitch which I knew what would happen once he woke up. With my leg I pinned that metal arm down and started to shake him again. "Bucky!"
"Остановитесь ... Оставь ee." He muttered (Stop...Leave her alone) who was he talking about? Was he talking about me?
"Bucky!" I yelled sending another jolt at him watching him sit up, his eyes went dark as he tried to reach for my throat but he couldn't move his metal arm. My free hand caught his other and we locked eyes as he panted with fury dripping from him. "Bucky it's me! It's me...it's okay. Breathe..." Soon he snapped out what was happening and his blue eyes began go glisten with tears and his body relaxed.
"I'm sorry...sorry..." he cried I released both his arms from their holds and I took his head into my hands letting it press onto my chest. His hands clutched my arms while he trembled in my grip while I stroked away his hair from his face. "They were torturing you...I couldn't do anything...I'm sorry..."
"Shhhh...it's okay...you're safe...I'm safe...I'm here with you..." I replied calmly stroking his cheek until his heavy pants lessened in my grip. After a few more minutes of cradling my former partner in my arms I could feel Bucky's tense form relax. "Here...listen to this." I grabbed the journal across the floor still holding Bucky in my grip opening it to the page I was just on.
"What is it?" he asked still holding my arms tightly in his grip while I pressed the book on my thigh so I could see it.
"A memory...a good one...of us." I smiled pressing my chin on Bucky's head while I felt him shift a small bit to see the book too. My metal fingers braced against his metal shoulder and I pulled a fallen blonde strand behind my ear. "He was a great dancer...I could feel my heart race every time his hands were around my waist and his breath on my neck made every nerve inside me rise at attention. His blue eyes were so hypnotic, his smile was intoxicating and I couldn't shake the urges I was feeling to kiss him. I didn't...but there were moments where the both of us could've...we were close enough to one another to do it but we didn't. We just laughed and danced enjoying one another's company which was something I think we both needed." I closed the journal placing it onto the floor again while Bucky's grip tightened on my arm again.
"Stay with me..." he whispered I pressed my lips to the top of his head moving down a small bit until my head hit the pillow. Bucky's head rested on my chest as both of his arms were tangled around my body and his breaths were light.
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"I'm not going anywhere Buck. I'm right here." I replied lightly stroking his arm with my fingers until I could hear Bucky's soft snores in my grip.
~~Another small filler chapter but this was a very sweet moment for both Ellie and Bucky. I really love these two :)~~
