To Be A Hero

Chapter 11: Between The Raindrops

When I get back to Abel with Janine, Veronica, Sam, Maxine and Paula are all waiting for me. I hand the papers over to Janine, barely hearing Veronica's gush of questions about what I might remember as she snatches the Edda's pages to look at them herself. I think I hear Maxine asks if I'm alright, but I don't answer. My eyes stay trained on Sam.

His tears are gone, but the stains of them are still there on his cheeks. He takes a step towards me, looking unsure. His fingers brush against my skin, gently, as if he's afraid I might break. Flakes of dried blood fall off from his touch.

I throw myself at him.

He grunts in surprise as a wrap my arms around him, holding onto him like my life depends on it, because I honestly feel like it does. Slowly, carefully, he wraps his arms around me, rubbing my back gently, and I bite my lip to keep from crying. I almost gag when I taste copper on my tongue.

What we've done has allowed some form of Moonchild to manifest in my head. She may not be 'with' me right now, but she's still there in my head. She was a part of me before, but this...

This is so much worse.

And I can't tell them. What would they do to me if I did? How would they react knowing I have this version of her in my head? It's not just memories. It's like if she were still alive almost. What she told me to do wasn't a memory. It was something else... something worse.

And the most horrible thing of all is I don't know what she is. I can't be sure if this manifestation was something my own mind conjured up or if this is actually Moonchild-a piece of the real her.

There's someone in my head and it's not me.

That terrifies me, and a small whimper leaves my lips.

Sam pulls back immediately, eyes wide with concern. I can't look him in the eye. I feel pathetic as I fight back the tears, failing to stop a few from escaping my lashes.

"No. No, don't cry," He murmurs, bringing his hand up to brush them away. It takes everything in me not to lean into his touch. "It's okay now. You're okay. You don't have to do that ever again."

"Well, she might, depending on how much or little she remembers," Veronica says, and he shoots her a look.

"She doesn't have to do that ever again."

Veronica rolls her eyes before looking at me. "Runner Five, I really do need to speak with you, see what memories you might have unlocked in your brain. Did Moonchild tell you any translations of the Edda, or maybe if there's any other research she has on it?"

"Veronica, I really don't think now is the time to ask this," Maxine says. "Five needs to be checked out for bites, and I can see a few pieces of glass stuck in her skin. I need to get those out and clean the wounds rather quickly. Five?"

She holds her hand out to me, but I don't move. My grip on Sam's shirt tightens, and I press closer to him, causing him to inhale sharply.

"Uh, Five?" He questions, sounding flustered. I look up at him tearfully, desperately.

"I don't want you to leave me."

"But-"

"Please... don't leave me. I need you."

He stares at me for a long time, before sighing and looking over at Maxine. She shrugs.

"You can come in the tent with her if you'd like."

Satisfied, I pull away from Sam, but I wrap his hand in mine. I do it because the feel of his hand in mine tells me that this is my choice. I'm choosing this, not Moonchild or whatever thing that's currently lying dormant in my brain. It's my choice. Mine. And that's enough to keep me from bawling my eyes out.