To Be A Hero

Chapter 21: Bad Blood

I lay on the cot, staring at the ceiling with my wet hair splayed all around. I can hear the Chinese lullabies Sam's listened to, but it almost sounds faded due to the fact that I've been focusing on tuning it out.

I'm tired, exhausted really. My eyes burn and I can't seem to focus on much of anything, but no matter how hard I try, I cannot fall asleep. For some reason tonight it seems impossible to let myself fall into the inky blackness of rest.

So I just lay here, barely able to function but unable to rest. I don't know if it's because of the lullabies or if it's the fact that he's still sitting in the swivel chair and isn't laying down beside me. Whatever reason it may be, it causes frustration to claw at my chest as I squeeze my eyes shut, tears prickling at my burning eyes. My skin feels cold and clammy. If I were still able to get sick, I might think this could be the case, but it isn't, and I have no clue about just what to do concerning my restless state.

I just want to sleep, damn it! Is that too much to ask?

Sam spins around in his swivel chair, his head tipping to the side. "Did you say something?"

I sit up on my elbows, matching his curious stare. Did I?

"I don't think so," I say with a shiver. My voice sounds off, even to my own ears. Everything about me is off. I sit up completely, pain lacing through my muscles as I do so, and I pull the blanket tight around me.

I still feel like I'm freezing, even as sweat rolls down the back of my neck. I bite back a groan and resist the urge to cry at how badly my eyes burn. I close them again, welcoming the darkness that I see as soon as I do, but it doesn't take me. It refuses to take me, even though I beg it to. I internally scream for some kind of rest, a way to escape the mixture of heat and cold that seems to blanket itself over my body, a way to escape my burning eyes and stinging lungs and queasy stomach.

What is this? What's happening to me?

"I can't get sick," I whisper, leaning my back against the wall, my grip on my blanket slackening, and when a sliver of it opens, I almost sigh at the cool air that hits my skin, until I suddenly feel like I'm freezing again, goosebumps erupting over my skin in a matter of seconds. I grip the blanket even tighter than before.

Sam's staring at me fiercely now. "Okay, now I know you just said something." He pauses for just a moment to study my face, since that's really all he can see because I'm wrapped up in this blanket like a burrito. "Are you-you don't look so good, Five. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," I sputter out, internally cringing at how my voice cracks and strains. "Just tired and can't sleep."

"Do you want me to turn the music down?"

"No. No, listen to it. I know you want to have it memorized by the time the baby comes."

"I know, but I have a few weeks. If you need to sleep..."

"I'm fine. Always am."

He grimaces. "You know I hate it when you say that."

I force a smile, shifting slightly while trying to ignore the pain that spikes through my body. "Sorry. Force of habit, I suppose... Thanks, by the way, for telling me about your mom and dad. I know that it's hard to talk about that kind of stuff. That was... very brave of you."

The sudden change in subject catches him off guard, and the second he actually registers what I said, he blushes. "Oh, uh, y-yeah, I guess. I just... I needed to tell someone, you know? And you and Janine are both pretty good listeners. Plus you have told me bits and snippets about your family, so might as well even out the playing field."