To Be A Hero

Chapter 42: Sparks Fly

I stand in the corner the main room of Janine's farmhouse, listening to people laugh and talk, the sounds of joy ringing in my ears. Janine usually doesn't allow gathering in her house unless it's for a special occasion, but I think we can all agree that Sam not actually being dead is one.

Most of the runners are the ones huddled around him, talking to him, hugging him, just being glad that he's back. I don't blame them. This, knowing Sam is not only alive but immune to the zombie virus, it's amazing! Extraordinary!

Milo and Penelope are talking to him now. I think it's mostly because Penelope wants to see the baby, which Sam is holding, but I scoot closer when Milo hugs Sam, being careful of the baby.

"I'm so happy you're okay," He says. "I felt so bad after what happened. I'm sorry."

Sam's brows furrow together, and he tips his head to the side. "Why are you sorry?"

"I probably should have been a better operator, I guess."

He scoffs. "You did pretty well for your first time. When I did my first mission, I barely got the first Runner Five and the Major out alive. I spent a lot of time arguing with a New Canton operator. I think you did awesome. If you didn't want to be a runner, I'd say being a operator would be a good second choice."

Milo smiles softly at the encouragement, which makes me smile. I know he was feeling really guilty about Sam. I'm not sure if one of the reasons was because of the fact that I cared about Sam like I do or not, but I think maybe now he'll feel better about it.

I sigh. Milo was being eaten alive by guilt and I was was going to leave him...

Sam is immune and I would have killed myself thinking he was dead when he really wasn't. God, I'm such an idiot. I'm a reckless idiot.

And yet, everything's turned out alright for the most part. I'm alive, Sam's alive, Paula has months more of life, possibly longer because of Sam... Everything's okay.

Thank you, God.

Everything's okay... except for the fact that I kissed Sam, and I'm avoiding him at this gathering because I know he'll want to talk to me about it.

It's not that I regret it, because I don't. I thought that he was dying and this was the last chance I'd probably ever get to confess, and my words obviously weren't working out for me, so action was just gonna have to do. But I didn't actually think past that. I wasn't really thinking at all. It's really hard to think when it comes to Sam.

I look up from my spot on the floor, freezing when I see a pair of dark eyes staring into my own brown ones. I swallow thickly, wanting to run, wanting to run away as I watch Sam pass his daughter over to Maxine, stand up from his chair and walk towards me in my dark little corner. I want to run, but my feet refuse to move.

Heat creeps up my neck the closer he gets, and he gives me a small smile and a shy wave once he reaches me. "Hey."

"Hi. I would say great party, but uh, can't really call it that when there's no drinks." The words come out as stiff and awkward, but thankfully Sam takes pity on me and laughs anyway. He rubs the back of his neck, only able to look me in the eyes for a few seconds before breaking contact.

"Uh, can we talk?"

"Sure."

He looks at me, and I want to cringe at the discomfort on his face. He looks away as his cheeks tinge on pink. "Alone. We-we really need to talk alone."

This is what I've been dreading, but still I nod and follow Sam as he awkwardly leads me out of Janine's farmhouse.

"Where are we going?" I ask, trying to swallow, but my mouth has suddenly become bone dry.