To Be A Hero

Chapter 44: Just One Yesterday

I'm tired. So very tired.

I lean my head against the tiles of the shower, warm water hitting my back, running off my shoulders. It hurts the burned areas of my chest and neck, but it's healing quickly. Too quickly, actually. The pain of it is lessening more and more every day, even though it's been only six days since I was burned. Maxine told me that I shouldn't heal up for another three weeks or so, possibly longer, but I'm not sure about that, and it worries me.

Accelerated healing from small cuts or scrapes is one thing, but healing from massive burns, my wounds cauterizing themselves? Even those wounds are healing faster than they should. I mean, I'm not Van Ark, healing from a knife to the throat in mere seconds, but I wasn't healing quicker than normal right after Van Ark's treatments. It's been over a year and a half since he gave me those treatments, and I'm just now healing faster from cuts and scrapes, and burns, apparently.

I don't really know what to think about the burns on my head. That wound would have been fatal, and I know if I hadn't missed, which I'm sure I did, I would have died.

But I didn't.

But I know I'm not immortal like Van Ark, or like Simon, because Simon and Van Ark could regrow limbs, and their injuries healed within seconds. Mine are just healing quicker than normal.

But then again, Simon and Van Ark had different treatments than me. I took on Van Ark's refined formula. They used the regular and then took regeneration treatments.

I sigh. This is all so confusing, but unfortunately I can't tell anyone about it, not now.

How many times have I said that to myself?

There never does seem to be a right time to discuss my problems. To try to interrupt Veronica's work when she just had this breakthrough would be selfish. To go and ask Janine about this while she is busy with her brother and her own internal problems would be selfish. To go talk to Sam about this after having just nearly died and having the baby here now and after just admitting our feelings for each other would be selfish. To go talk to Maxine or Paula about this after just having the baby and one of them almost dying would be selfish.

Everyone has their own problems. I can't bother them with mine.

Bear this burden so they don't have to.

I unfortunately spent my one selfish act on kissing Sam and putting my life at risk. I don't think I get another pass, not for awhile now. And whatever is happening to me is unstoppable, so it'll still be happening after all this is done.

For now, we have other things to worry about.

I turn off the water to the shower, knowing my time in here is almost up anyway. I reach out and grab my towel, drying myself off and being very careful in drying my burns. Just because they don't hurt as bad as they did before doesn't mean they don't hurt at all.

I wrap the towel around myself, stepping out of the stall and grabbing my clothes. Normally I would dress in the stall, since stepping out in nothing but a towel when anyone could be in here is not a comforting thought, but I'm going to have to bandage up my chest as well as my thigh and arm. I don't exactly want to, but Kefilwe's made me promise to do it. She says if they're not prooerly taken care of, they could get infected, and that's not something we want since the burn on my chest and neck is as large as it is.

So, since that takes a few minutes, and I don't want someone to randomly swing open my shower curtain while I'm in the middle of bandaging myself up, I simply go off into one of the changing stalls nearby, shutting the door and then grabbing the bandages from where they're wrapped in my pile of clothes. I carefully wrap them around my neck and chest, making them tight enough that they won't rub against the skin, but not tight enough to cut off circulation. I do the same thing to my arm and leg, then I put on my clothes.