Chapter 9 | Down On My Love

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I'm apologizing in advance. 👀
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My stock is down and out, I used to be worth my weight in gold
That was before a great depression kicked in and rocked us
And that was before the hurricane came came in and stopped us
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Semaj's POV

When your significant other steps out on the vows that laid your marital foundation I found that it's much like death. And because of that you go through the five stages of grief:

1. Denial; he would never do this to me. He loves me too much to hurt me like this. He just said in order to even the score.

2. Anger; why in the hell would he does this to me? Does he not know who the hell I am?

3. Bargaining; praying to God that I'd follow every word of the good Book if he just relieved me of this pain. If he just gave me my husband back.

4. Depression; what is life without him? If he no longer wants me then what am I still here for?

And lastly, 5. Acceptance; It happened. We both made mistakes, he made a mistake, and I needed to try to forgive. Try to fight for my marriage.

But my stages weren't so clear-cut and easy. My vision was cloudy and some days I woke up with a mix of emotions. Some days I was angry, some depressed, other's I wished for this all to be a bad dream. I would do anything if someone could just jump out of the corner with a camera and yell 'gotcha!'.

Today was one of those days where I wasn't clear. I kept short conversations with my coworkers, kept my phone on silent and locked away in the desk drawer and drowned myself in my work. Today was the wrong day to be feeling this way considering both Jay and I had to go over to Michael's office for the first of many meetings for the new project.

But prior to leaving my office to head to his I made sure to add a few eyedrops to my eyes and apply some mascara. Michael probably knew how well I was managing this situation, but that didn't mean I had to show him how well I was (not) managing it. I'd even went as far as to get up earlier so I could curl my hair.

Just because I wasn't feeling good on the inside didn't mean I had to let it show externally. I had just grabbed my purse when someone knocked on my door and then it popped open Jay peaking his head through the crack he created.

"Hey, I'm ready when you are if you still want to ride together."

"That's fine. Saves gas and I won't lose my parking spot," I smiled and he laughed, pushing the door open wider so I could walk out. "Do you have the folder?"

He held it up as he walked beside me. "Right here.

We made it to the elevator and I pressed the down button. It was quiet between the two of us until I sighed deeply and turned to look at him. "You don't have to do this. The last time you and Michael were in a room together a fight broke out and you didn't deserve that. I'm giving you a chance to back out."

Jay laughed as the elevator dinged and the doors slid open. He stepped inside and turned around to face as I still hadn't stepped in. "Listen your husband doesn't scare me and if he can't act professionally with me in his presence then that sounds like his problem."

"Okay..." I nodded and stepped inside the elevator. He gently bumped his shoulder with mine and I looked over at him, but he remained front-faced with a smile on his face.

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