Pragma // s.b.

25

****

I was finally released from the hospital wing later that day with a small bottle of the potion and a hug from Madame Juliana, who whispered lightly in my ear, "I'm sorry about whatever happened with that boy. Feel better, love". I forced a smile and thanked her, willing myself to have the energy to make it back across the castle to my waiting bed.

When I reached the common room, Olivia pounced on me. "Are you okay?", she basically screeched, flinging her arms around me and pulling me into a tight hug. "Ow, my head", I groaned, noticing a small first year girl staring at us quizzically from across the room. "Let's go up to the dormitory", I mumbled, realizing I was clutching the bottle in my right hand so tightly it was beginning to shake.

Olivia nodded and we began to move up the spiraling staircase to where my warm, loving bed awaited. Rain was beginning to pour down from the sky, causing our dormitory to have a dark glow cast about it. None of the other girls were there, and I realized it was because we were supposed to be in Potions class. My stomach clenched. Was Sirius sitting at our little desk at this very moment? Was he looking at the empty space where I usually sat, feeling regret and sadness? Or did he not care at all?

Olivia reached up towards my fluffy pillow and pulled my yellow quilt down, exposing the soft white sheets. "Get in", she said warmly, "You look like hell". I snorted, "Thanks", but didn't fight it, letting myself fall into the welcoming and familiar comfort of my bed. Olivia threw the covers back over me and I let my eyes close for a moment. When I opened them, she was sitting perched on the edge of my bed, looking at me expectantly.

"What happened, Bri?", she let out softly, "The last time I saw you...". Was when I told her about Ro's accusation, then the Halloween feast, where I know I looked like a lunatic. I let out a heavy breathe and looked at her. "When I heard you were in the hospital wing I ran to see you, but Madame Juliana said you weren't allowed any visitors after something that happened this morning", Olivia continued tentatively, "So, what happened this morning?".

I didn't want to tell her. I didn't want to admit that I had failed in every way possible. The last thing I wanted to do was relive the horrible events of this morning, but I knew I had to. "It was Sirius", I started slowly, "He came to visit me in the hospital wing". The words were hard to choke out at first, but as I continued with the story they came faster and harsher. The emotion that I had tried to hold in, bursting out through the words I finally let go. When I finished, Olivia's mouth was slightly open. "You don't have to say anything, I know it was stupid to trust them in the first place, and if I could go back and change it I would. But, I can't, so I'm just gonna have to live with the fact that I was a fool and an idiot. I just want this part of my life to be done", I said, forcing myself to sit up a little straighter.

It felt nice to have everything off my chest, and at least I finally had the truth. Soon, at least I hoped, I would have closure too. I stared at Olivia. She pulled at the end of her braid. I knew she had a million opinions and things she wanted to say on the topic, but she just sat there for a moment in silence. The only sound was the patter of the rain hitting the circular window above my bed. After one more moment, her lips curled into a slight smile. "So", she raised an eyebrow, "Calum Archer, huh?".

****

Maggie, Amber, and Skye soon returned the the girls dormitory. Not a single one of them asked me about what had happened. I was pretty sure I had Olivia to thank for that, and I was extremely grateful. The girls collectively decided that going to class for the rest of the day would be pointless, and soon Maggie had disappeared and returned with armfuls of hot chocolate.

I had taken my last dose of the healing potion and the pain in my head almost was fully gone. So, I decided to venture out of my bed and down to the soft rug where the rest of the girls were sitting, watching Liv and Amber play wizard's chess. I took a long sip of my spiced hot chocolate, Maggie had remembered that I loved a little pumpkin juice mixed in with mine. The warmness from the sweet drink seemed to spread from my head to my toes.

Amber's queen violently smashed a knight on Olivia's side, causing Amber to let out a squeal of excitement and do a very enthusiastic victory dance. "Whatever", Liv rolled her eyes, "The game's not over yet. Just you wait". I lay back so my head rested on Maggie's lap. She began running her nimble fingers through my very knotted hair. "So", I said, trying to keep my voice even, "What did we miss in Potions today?".

Amber settled back down across from Liv and shrugged, "Nothing much. There were only like 5 people there anyway". This caught my attention. I sat up, my head twinging slightly, "What do you mean?". Amber ordered one of her pons to move and then turned to me, "Well you and Liv weren't there and neither were a bunch of the Gryffindors", then noticing what Olivia was doing . in the chess game, let out an exasperated, "Seriously?". Olivia's rook had just smashed Amber's only remaining bishop. Liv winked and raised her hands, "That's just how the game's played, baby".

So, the class was almost all empty, interesting. It sounded like not only Sirius hadn't shown up to class, but the rest of the boys. I wonder why? No! I mentally slapped myself. I would not spend anymore time thinking about them. They were no longer my friends. Their lives no longer affected mine. I could not associate myself with people that terrible and cruel. I tried to force the thoughts out of my head, but it proved harder than I thought.

I forced my attention back to Amber and Liv, now both silently staring at the board. Poppy jumped onto my lap, surprising me. I leaned down and kissed her head, her familiar scent calming me. I closed my eyes for a moment and listened to the sounds of the rain. Everything was going to be alright. I just needed to let it be. I would be okay with time, I knew it.

And so it went, I slowly began to laugh along with the rest of the girls. I began to enjoy the tastiness of my hot chocolate. I joined in when Maggie and Skye started taking bets on the winner of the chess game. I began to let myself be happy, and be okay with it.