Pragma // s.b.

44

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"You can't be serious", I said, burying my face in my hands. I heard Sirius' familiar laugh and felt his hands over mine, pulling them off my face. "Dead serious, sunshine", he said, glancing down at his bare chest. I lifted my fingers and gingerly ran my fingers over the fresh ink etched into his skin. Right below his left collar bone, was a small, shining sun. "Why'd you do it", I breathed.

            "You're always in my heart anyway, so I figured you might as well be on it too". My cheeks tinted pink. "Very clever", I smiled, looking down. We sat under my tree, looking out at the sunset on the lake. I closed my eyes and allowed myself to soak up everything around me. Winter had melted away and spring was bursting out of the hardened ground. The sweet smell drifting from the flowers at our feet filled my nose. Light buzzing from dragonflies filled in the gaps of comfortable silence. The aftertaste of the picnic we had brought down with us lingered on my tongue.

            "I am so utterly and completely in love with you", I said, my eyes still closed. His lips pressed against mine and I exhaled. "We should be getting back", my eyelids fluttered open. He shushed me, pulling me in for another kiss. The kiss deepened and his hand found the small of my back. My hands ran through his hair, catching in the tangles.

            I pulled away, breathless. "Come on", planting one last kiss on his smiling lips, I stood, "I told the girls I'd be back soon. Four hours ago". He groaned and threw himself back onto the ground. "Why do you hate me?". I reached down and pulled at his arms until he stood. "We'll pick up where we left off tomorrow", I rolled my eyes, taking his hand in mine and moving the dipping branches of the tree out of the way. "Promise?", he wiggled his eyebrows up and down.I let out a laugh and shoved him away, "Not after that". "I take it back, I take it back!" he cried, grabbing me around the waist and lifting me up, spinning around. I laughed uncontrollably. He set me down and I took a breath, laughter still ringing in the air.

"Adorable", a dry voice sounded from nearby. My eyes flitted toward the speaker and my heart sank. "What do you want, Regulus?", Sirius said, taking a step forward, shielding me. It didn't work however, because at the same time, I had taken a step forward in an attempt to do the same for him. The tall boy standing in front of us let out a sharp laugh. "You two really are the cutest", he smirked. I bit the inside of my cheek. He took another step towards us, so he was face to face with Sirius.

"Let's go", I grabbed Sirius' hand. Regulus blocked our way. "I don't know how you got such a goodie goodie to like you", he said, looking me up and down. Sirius inhaled sharply. "He's not worth it", I said, my voice low, "Come on". My eyes were narrowed, my heart pounding with sudden anger. Sirius eyes were ablaze with fury, his hand tight in mine.

"Yeah, okay", he muttered and made a movement. Regulus' hand shot out, pressing into Sirius' chest. "She really does have you on a tight leash doesn't she?", he laughed cooly. Sirius let go of my hand and shoved his brother. "Shut up", Sirius moved to push him again but I grabbed his shoulders. "Sirius, stop", I ran my hands up and down his back, feeling his muscles loosen.

"Fuck you, Regulus", Sirius spat and began towards the castle. We stood there, face to face for a brief moment. "He's just going to hurt you", Regulus said so only I could here, then raising his voice, "He can't even take care of himself, what makes you think he could take care of you?". Sirius whipped around, moving so quickly toward his brother that I didn't have time to process what had happened until I saw the blood trickling out of Regulus' nose.

Sirius chest heaved up and down and he wiped blood from his hand onto his robes. "You don't know anything", he spit, "And if you ever come near Briony ever again, I'll kill you". My eyes flew between them, and for once, I was at a loss for words. Then, Regulus laughed. It would have been better if he had yelled or tried to hit Sirius or even ran away. But he simply laughed and said, "One day she'll be gone, just like everyone else", then he took a step back and raised an eyebrow, "I can't wait".

****

Sirius stormed through the castle until we came upon an empty classroom. Without even waiting for me, he flung the door open and then slammed it. I caught it and followed him in, gently shutting it behind me. The room was dark, moonlight cast over the empty desks. I stood looking at Sirius tentatively. He paced back and forth, running his hands through his hair.

"Sirius...", I breathed. He stopped. We looked at each other. I looked at the hurt in his eyes. I looked at the blood on his hands. "He's right", he let out. His voice was steady, low. He said it with such certainty that I was taken aback. My mouth parted. "No, he's not", I moved toward him, but he took a step back. I reached to take his hand but he pulled away. "Briony, stop", he said. I wish he didn't sound so sure. If he sounded broken, I could fix him. But he didn't.

"He's right", Sirius' jaw was tight, "I'm going to hurt you". I felt tears begin to brim in the corners of my eyes. "No, you aren't", I tightened my ponytail in an effort to control something, anything. "Yes, I will. You deserve so much more than me. You deserve a guy like Calum, or Jesse", he threw his head back and laughed. "That's not funny Sirius", my voice was weak. "Yeah, I know it's not fucking funny Briony, but what am I supposed to do?", his voice was tight, almost emotionless. And I hated it.

"Believe me when I say I love you!", I cried, a tear falling from my eye. I hurriedly brushed it away. "That doesn't matter", his voice was steady, "Because I love you too. And I love you too much to hurt you". My heart was shattering. My mind was numb. "You're hurting me right now, Sirius", my voice broke. His eyes snapped up and met mine. We stared at each other. I remembered the first time we sat next to each other in Potions class, the Quidditch games we went to, the meals we ate, the secrets we shared.

"I'm sorry", he breathed, "I can't do this anymore". And then, he was gone.