Pragma // s.b.

45

****

Sirius didn't speak to me for a day. Then it turned into a week, then a month. He requested his seat be changed in Potions, and Professor Slughorn obliged, moving me so I sat right in front of his desk with Lily. He told us he had "taken a notice to our natural Potions abilities and thought a pair so brilliant and stunning to look at should be a little closer to the front". This stuck Maggie and Sirius together, he ignored her too.

We hadn't said one word to each other since the day he stormed out of the empty classroom. And it wasn't for my lack of try either. I waited outside the Gryffendor common room after dinner, on the grounds after Quidditch games. I hung around after Potions class and DADA, hoping for any chance to say something, anything to him. But he wouldn't even look at me.

So, there I was, one Tuesday afternoon. Potions had just ended. The few lucky students who got to try the giggling potion chuckled and snorted on their way out of the classroom. I glanced behind my shoulder, he was still there, packing up his bags. "You coming?", Amber called from across the room and my eyes shifted back to Sirius. "Um, yeah one second... I dropped my quill. I'll catch up".

The rest of the Hufflepuff girls filed out of the room. Only a few stragglers were left in the chilly dungeon. I inhaled and made my way over to Sirius' and I's old desk. "Hi", I breathed. His eyes snapped up. They looked blank, no emotion to be seen. "I'm running late", he grunted, standing quickly and pushing past me. I bit my lip and stared down at the ground. I would not cry. Not here, not now.

I felt a light touch on my hand and turned quickly. "He'll come around, don't worry", Lily's voice was soft. My breath hitched and I nodded. "He loves you, he's just scared. James says he hasn't been the same since you broke up. You can't turn off your feelings like that, Briony. Trust me.", she lightly guided me out of the room and into the long hallway and out into the sunny spring afternoon.

****

    Spring time in the Hufflepuff common room was like an explosion of every flower and plant you could imagine. It was a fun competition that someone had thought of when I was a 2nd year, and it had just stuck. On the last day of April, everyone produced the most extravagant, incredible, spectacular arraignment of flowers they could think of. Then it was taken to a vote, and the winner got to sit in the best chair in the common room and be showered with gifts. I had one last year, with my spectacular array of honeysuckles, daisies, yellow roses, and various other sweet smelling flowers. Another rule was that in fairness, no one could win two years in a row.

    So, I sat back and watched the festivities play out. My legs were flung over the arm of the fluffy couch. Liv lay next to me, twirling her wand through her fingers. "Skye is for sure going to win", Olivia said, gesturing to the side where Skye stood with a giant swan formed out of white lilies. "I don't know...look over there at that first year's", I said, winking over at a mousy first year who stood blushing in the corner. She had managed to form the face of a clock out of vines, including moving minute and hour hands.

    "Can you believe this year is almost over?", Liv sighed. I looked back at her and grinned sadly. If only I had known what this year had in store for me. The love I would feel and the heartbreak I would endure. "It certainly has been something else", I closed my eyes. "Sirius doesn't know what he's doing", Olivia reached over and placed a hand on my shoulder, then she suddenly started shaking it.

    My eyes popped open and I started laughing and I looked at the goofy expression on my best friend's face. "You rejected Calum frikin Archer", she continued, sitting up, "That's a major win for the year". I laughed and shook my head. "Even if we never speak again", my heart hurt even at the thought of that, but I continued on, "I don't regret any of it". Olivia nodded. "Plus I love Lily and James", then I winked, "And Remus". "Shut up", Liv mumbled. Rumors had been whirring around the castle about "that pretty Hufflepuff" and Lupin for the past week or so. And though Liv had denied all, we knew there was something more going on between them.

    We went back to watching the other Hufflepuffs bring down their various creations, and I smiled to myself. I wished that I could hate Sirius, but the truth was, I couldn't. I never would be able to hate him. My love for him was long standing. I didn't fall in love with him in a day, and it certainly wasn't love at first sight. As a sat in the warm glow of the room around me, I realized that there was nothing mystical about my love for him. I knew why I did, and I would never stop, my love for him was simply pragmatic. And nothing could ever change that.