Changes

Chapter 12

I went downstairs after my bath and went into the kitchen. Z was gone to go see that woman and I needed to eat. So much for getting more than his blood to eat tonight. I guess I'll settle for something from the kitchen. I had just grabbed the eggs when my mom came in. "How do you feel," She asked me. "Hungry," I told her. "I mean, about everything that's happened to you and your brothers," She clarified to me. I shrugged, "It feels natural." "And the mate," She asked me next. "You haven't known him long." "Ever since we met, I've been drawn to him. Like there is this pull that I can't fight, and to be honest I don't want too," I explained to her. She smiled as she sat at the island, "I understand honey. Your father and I were married a week after meeting each other. He claimed he knew what he wanted and wasn't going to take no for an answer. It lead to thirty four years being happily married to him." I missed dad so much it hurt, but it was good to see mom was finally able to bring herself to talk about him without crying her eyes out.

"How are your brothers doing since the Spine Ripper," She asked me. I ran a hand through my hair, "Tonight was the first night I've seen them have some kind of smile. Of course it was one in a weird type of excitement, and not of joy, but it was something." They've been much colder ever since the last time we trained. Jaden and I haven't had a conversation since, while Jay and I have at least had a trip down my memory lane. Of course that was only one of the many things that happened to me in New York.

My mother sighed and looked down at her hands, "I pray that they can move on from this." "I do too," I agreed in a whisper. She then stood and went to bed while I began to cook myself something to eat. I sat at the island with my food and began to eat. Jaden then came in and grabbed a water bottle from the fridge. "Want to go hunting with me," he asked. I nodded, "Let me finish and change then we'll go."

He nodded, "I'll be on the porch." I nodded and he left the kitchen. Axel and Talos came in and looked at me with a raised eyebrow. "Going out hunting," Talos asked me. I nodded, "Yes." "Does your mate know," Axel asked me. "He isn't here right now and is busy with some woman he went to go see about a key," I told him. "Plus, it's not like I'm going alone. I'll be with Jaden."

I stood and took my empty plate to the sink, "Now if you'll excuse me." I know they'll follow us tonight, I just hope they stay out of sight. Once dressed I went to the porch where Jaden stood waiting, looking at a photo of him and the woman he loved. "Does it get easier," he whispered to me. "I am not the person you should be asking that," I told him honestly. He sighed and slipped his phone into his pocket and we left.

"They're following us," Jaden grumbled in the car as we drove through the crowded New Orleans streets, Talos and Axel in a car not far behind. I nodded, "Of course they did. So how come Jay didn't join us?" "I wanted it to be just us so we could talk," he answered softly. "You were right that day we trained. I held back and it's my fault she's dead." I didn't say anything as I looked out the window.

"You're not gonna deny it," he asked baffled. I looked back at him, "I dont believe its your fault but even if I sit here and tell you that, you'll never believe it, so why waste my breath?" I sighed and went back to looking out the window, "You just have to keep going forward. How you go forward is what defines you. I am happy to see you and Jay giving so much to killing these things while also working with the others at trying to get these tears to close, but you guys haven't taken a moment for yourselves to process any of this." "What is there to process," he asked me. "All of this. Have you even stopped to properly mourn? No, you and Jay just dove right into the action," I told him.

"I'll mourn once the tears are closed," He told me. "Who knows when that will happen," I told him. "For all we know it could be a century from now." He ran a hand through his hair with a sigh, "I loved her okay. It's not that easy, Allie." I sighed, "I'm not saying it is Jaden, but I am saying you cant just keep pushing it all back. You loved her Jaden, dont dishonor her by pushing her to the back of your mind."