For The Love Of A Bad Boy

X

I hated hospitals. I knew I'd wake up in one, which I hated even more.

I heard the beep of my heart monitor, but at that point, it didn't matter to me whether I lived or died. But I had to wake up. The sleep I was in was dragging me down even further and even though I didn't care, slipping into a coma just didn't sound good to me.

I forced my eyes open. My eyelids felt as if they weighed a ton. My vision was blurry, but I knew Jeremy was the one hovering over me.

"Jeremy?" I asked, my voice raspy and groggy.

"Yeah, it's me," He said, "thank God you're awake. You've been out for twenty four hours. How do you feel?"

"My head hurts."

"You hit your head pretty hard when you fell. You're okay, though."

"What'd the doctor say?"

"She said you had a severe asthma attack. I got all your inhalers refilled....God, I thought I lost you."

"What happened after I passed out?"

"I called the ambulance. You really scared me, Sam. Don't ever do that again."

"Sorry,"

"Don't apologize. You couldn't help it. I saw how hard you tried." He smiled.

"Did...anyone visit me?"

"Do not do that to yourself, Sam."

"But...Anthony-"

"I know. Please, don't talk anymore. Just rest."

"I'm tired of resting. Tell me if he came."

"No, Sam, that's what put you in here in the first place."

"Please," I whispered.

"Yeah, Anthony came to see you. He wasn't allowed in here because he isn't family."

"You think he came to apologize?"

He shrugged, "Who knows? Go back to sleep, alright?"

"Will you stay?"

"I haven't left this chair since we got here and I don't plan on moving."

So I tried my best to get comfortable and closed my eyes.

"Jeremy?" I whispered.

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry. You're a better brother than I give you credit for."

"Duh," He grinned.

"I love you,"

"I love you too. Now, shut up and go to sleep."

~

My doctor was an old friend of our parents, Dr.Greene.

She had known me since I was born.

"You might not be so lucky next time," She said after I had woken up.

"What could happen if there's a next time?" Jeremy asked.

"If his brain doesn't get enough oxygen, there's a possibility he could slip into a coma."

I wasn't listening, although she had just voiced my fear. I was obsessing about Anthony.

Did he come to apologize?

Was it to make sure I was okay?

How did he know I was in the hospital? Does that mean he cares?

Does he care? At all?

"Sam? Sam, are you listening?" Dr.Greene's voice snapped me out of it, hers and Jeremy's expressions worried as I looked up at them.

"No, sorry. What did you say?"

"Are you alright? You don't seem like yourself."

"I'm fine. Just tired."

"You were asleep for twenty four hours."

I shrugged.

"Jeremy told me what happened. Want to talk about it?"

"No. If Jeremy already told you, there's no point. I'll end up crying, anyway."

"I was there when you were born. There's nothing you can hide."

"It's stupid."

"You're in the hospital, Sam. Obviously, this Anthony boy has an effect on you."

"He broke up with me. I don't want to get into it."

"Did you love him?"

"Doesn't matter."

"Pretend it does."

"Yes," I nodded, "I still do."

"Maybe it'll all blow over."

"It won't," I rolled my eyes, "so, when can I go home?"

"Tomorrow. I told Jeremy that you shouldn't go to school for a few days."

"Why?"

"Seeing Anthony could bring on another asthma attack."

"It won't."

"Sam, you don't know that for sure." Jeremy said.

"I'm telling you, I'm fine. It's my body, wouldn't I know?"

"For once, you can miss a day or two." Jeremy sighed.

"But I don't want to."

"I'm sorry, Sam. It's just too risky." Dr.Greene said sympathetically.

If I didn't go, Anthony would think I was running from him.

"Okay." I said stubbornly.

Dr.Greene left, her instructions still standing, no matter how hard I pouted about it.

"I brought something from home for you." Jeremy said.

"Is it Buttons?"

"Yep."

He took Buttons out of his duffel bag and handed him to me.

"Thank you," I sighed dismally.

"Sam, if you want to talk about it-"

"I don't! Will you please drop it?" I shouted.

"Calm down. Its not good for you to get worked up right now."

I rolled my eyes again, drawing my knees up to my chest. I buried my face into Buttons, trying to smell Mom's perfume. I hated that hospital bed. I wanted to go home where I could be sad without interference from the world. I wanted Anthony, unfortunately.

"Do you want to eat?" Jeremy asked.

"No, I'm not hungry."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah."

"Sam, I really don't want this to get in your way."

"Not eating?"

"No, I mean Anthony. You can't get depressed over this."

"Who said I was depressed?"

"You're already acting like it."

"For millionth time, I'm fine."

I hugged Buttons closer to my chest in attempt to tell Jeremy I was through speaking to him.

"Why are you shutting me out?" Jeremy asked.

"I'm not. Can we sit in silence, please?"

"Remember what Dad used to say? What was it....something like, he who does not understand your silence will probably not understand your words."

"I used to hate it when he said that."

"Me too, but now that I think about it, he was right."

I closed my eyes, wanting to plunge into darkness more than ever.