For The Love Of A Bad Boy

XIX

"So...Mike just said he loved you and you said it back?" Jeremy asked when I told him.

"Yeah, that's what happened."

"Do you even love him?"

"Yes, I'm pretty sure. I think."

"Sam, you can't play with people's emotions like that. If you don't love him, you have to tell him."

"I said I'm pretty sure."

"You either love him or you don't. There is no in between."

"I can't take it back. I already said it."

"Well, you have to be honest with him. It's not fair to lead him on."

"I'm not leading him on."

"Making it seem like you love him is called leading him on."

"I do love him, Jeremy," I said, "I'm not leading him on. I promise."

"I don't want to see you get hurt again. You'll never come back from it."

"It's not going to be like last time. Mike isn't Anthony."

"But this is the way you acted."

"What will make you believe me?"

"I guess nothing. You can date him all you want, I'm staying out of it this time."

~

Jeremy had his date with Noah on Wednesday, and I knew right then that when he did get home, I would lose all the courage to tell him how I was feeling.

Mike and I were sitting in homeroom with the rest of the class, waiting for the bell to ring.

"Did you notice how people were looking at you yesterday?" Mike asked, his voice quiet.

I shook my head no.

"I saw," He looked at me suspiciously, "and I don't like it."

"I can't help it if people look at me," I whispered, "maybe it was all in your head."

"Are you saying you don't believe me?" He asked harshly.

I was confused as to why he was acting the way he was.

"No," I shook my head again, "I just don't get the point you're trying to make right now. So what if people were looking at me? People look at you."

"Yeah, but I'm not like you."

"What does that mean?" I crossed my arms.

"I know people watch me. You don't."

"So?" I sighed.

"You're more attractive than you think you are. That's why you get attention. I don't want anyone to take you from me."

"No one is going to take me from you. I love you...don't you believe that?"

"Of course I do," He took one of my hands and threaded his fingers through mine, "I'm sorry. You mean so much to me, I don't want to lose you. Promise you'll never leave me?"

"Promise," I said.

"For anything. No matter what I do?"

It was strange the way he said no matter what I do instead of no matter what either of us do.

Relationship are a two way street, right? It's about the both of us. I made mistakes too. So why was Mike only talking about himself? Did he plan on making a mistake? Did he want to upset me?

"No matter what you do."

"I love you."

"I love too."

He kissed my cheek, standing up to go back to his seat.

That's all he did to me the first day. Surprisingly, Jeremy was there when I got home.

I ran to him and hugged him. He probably thought I had lost my mind.

"Sam, are you okay?" He asked.

"I'm fine...I just thought you'd be out with Noah."

"I will. Later tonight. What's wrong?"

"Nothing. Can't I hug you without reason?" I held him tighter, burying my face in his shoulder.

"We never do this. Are you sure you're alright?"

"I had a bad day." I admitted.

"Did Anthony hurt you?"

"No. Nothing like that."

"Tell me then."

I turned away, letting go of him.

"Something you want to talk about?" He asked.

"Today wasn't the best day...that's all. Drop it, okay?" I wrapped my arms around myself and went into the family room to lay on the couch.

Jeremy followed me, leaning over the back of the couch.

"Is this about Mike?"

"No," I said, annoyed, "it's not about anything."

"Then why are you so upset?"

"Because I have a right to be."

"Well, how about if I talk and you listen?"

"Talk away." I sighed.

"You don't sound excited."

"What are you going to tell me?"

"I have a few days off work. We can do something."

"Like?"

"Whatever you want to."

"I don't want to do anything."

"That's okay too."