The Mafia's Doctor

<-48->

<-I-L-A-<<<
"Are you ready?" Matteo asked as he started the engine.

"Yeah," I confirmed while I buckled my seatbelt into place.

"I'm not," Matteo said. I frowned. Nevertheless, contradicting his own words, he proceeded to drive.

"Of course, you were. I can't believe I really expected you to not do this right now," I said, sighing. I looked away from him in disbelief.

"What?" Matteo asked, "Do what?"

"Stop me. You are trying to stop me again. You said that you were doing it for the best of me and I got that, but now it's starting to feel like I'm being trapped all over again." Within in me, I could feel my anger boiling. 

>>>-M-A-T-T-E-O->
"I'm not trying to stop you," I said, trying to difuse the tension in the atmosphere. "I'm just telling you how I feel. I know that it is selfish of me to want you to stay. I just hate the thought of you being so uncomfortable around Aiden, Marcella, Gio, and I."

I glanced at Ila for a split second before bringing my eyes back on the road. Ila shifted in her seat. Her whole body was pointing away from me, not a good sign.

"It's not that," Ila assured me, looking out of the passenger window.

"Then what is it?" I asked. I wanted to hear her explanation. I had heard enough from my father, from Marcella, from everyone else and I wanted to figure it out for myself.

"Matteo," Ila said. Her voice had dropped to a whisper. "I'm leaving because I realized I had made a mistake."

Ila looked at me. At the brim of her eyes, tears pooled. Before her tears fell, she turned away and sniffled. In her lap, she fumbled with her fingers. Occasionally, Ila would pull her hands apart in order to wipe her tears that ran down her cheeks. With her voice quivering, Ila explained, "I shouldn't have joined the mafia, and I knew it was wrong. I guess I didn't know how wrong it was until I got caught by Stollo. I have never once fought for my life like that, never once have I felt so terrified, so hurt, so guilty. I'm guilty because I brought this upon myself. I'm guilty because I murdered someone. I went rom a doctor to a criminal. Then, a criminal to a murder."

"It's not your fault," I jumped to defend her for herself. "I shouldn't have let you gone back alone. I should I told Aiden to bring you back to the car that night or escorted you myself. You did nothing wrong, Ila. I'm so sorry you went through that, but it wasn't your fault. You were a victim to my stupidity and Stollo's unmerciful cruelness."

Ila shook her head, unswayed by what I had said, "I just want to go home. I want to go back to my old life where I don't have to worry about being captured, where I don't have my life on the line. I need a cleanse. I want to forget everything bad that happened these past few months."

"Ila, you will still be looked for by Stollo," I told her. I know that wasn't something she wanted to her, but it was the truth.

"I'll tell him I have no connections with your mafia anymore."

I clenched my jaw. Ila was of many things, but why does she have to be naive.

"If he does capture me, it'll be my share of karma," I caught Ila whispering to herself the afterthought she had.

I tensed up, gripping the steering wheel as I made a promise in my head. Stollo won't get to her. I'll make sure of it.