My Father, Sam Winchester

Chapter 10

Chapter 10

"What did you mean yesterday?" Cas asked later that afternoon as Farrah was fixing herself lunch.

"Hm?" she replied.

"When you said you have taken care of yourself for five years. Emily only died last year; what did you mean?"

Farrah let out a deep sigh and sat down across from Cas. "I thought it was just Mom, and I guess it was since the angel left her, but I can hardly remember a time when Mom was actually involved in my life. She always left me to my own; sometimes she was there and just uninvolved, other times I had no idea where she was. Oftentimes I'd find her staring off into space and ask what she was thinking about. She'd just give me a sad look and mumble something about angels and Dad. I raised myself, pretty much."

"Whenever I heard about Emily, she sounded very kind," he said, his brow furrowed.

"She was." Farrah pushed the plate away from herself, losing her appetite. "She was kind, very sweet, but not prepared for a kid at all. She was an orphan herself, not knowing her mother to even imitate her. So she just...she had a hard time adjusting to suddenly having control over her own life. She told me lots of stories about Sam, about how she wished she had been able to tell him to stay. It was..." she smiled absently, "it was hard, difficult, but it was my life. I wish a few things could've been different, but on the whole, it was good. Is good."

Cas nodded slowly, hardly understanding.

Her eyes widened. "You can't tell Sam or Dean."

"Why not?" he questioned.

"Because they're really big on family and I don't want them to know how bad Mom was at being family. I want Sam to remember Mom how he knew her. I don't want him to think that the real Emily was just some jerk."

He nodded again, quicker now because he could understand that. As he opened his mouth to talk, Farrah cut him off. "Please, Castiel, don't. I'd like a minute to myself." She tried to tell him without ordering him out that she wanted time alone, without him hanging over her; he got the message.

"I will see what is taking Dean and Sam so long."

He vanished, and Farrah smiled. "Thank you, Castiel."

She got up and walked around the room leisurely, thinking about her mom. While wondering about the boys at the same time, she thought that maybe she might be able to see them, since she had already been able to see so much. Then, without warning, a memory-like picture interrupted her thoughts, and she paused, her breath catching.

"C'mon, Sam. It's gotta be here somewhere," Dean said with a sigh, sitting down at a table in the library beside his brother.

"It isn't my fault the computers are down, Dean," said Sam exasperatedly as he flipped through a book.

Castiel flashed in, sitting on Dean's other side. "Cas!" exclaimed Dean. "What are you doing here? You're supposed to be with Farrah."

Cas's eyes wandered; he tried to come up with a lie. "I...upset Farrah. She wanted to be alone."

Sam lifted his hand from the book and the pages flew back. He sighed at the frustration of not being able to find anything and looked at the angel. "Cas, she could do anything."

"She will not leave."

"Yeah?" Dean said. "How do you know?"

"She would not want to worry you. She will stay safe." He looked regretful, and Dean lifted his brow.

"Did she tell you to leave?"

"No. I left on my own. I will return in a few minutes."

Sam sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose. He was already frustrated with the fruitless search, and his eyes hurt, so he wasn't in the best mood. "What did you do to upset her?"

"I..." He struggled for another lie. "I do not know."

Dean watched him for a moment before saying, "Cas, what have I told you about trying to lie to me?"

Cas looked at the table. "It won't work."

"Exactly. So tell us the truth. What happened?"

"I cannot tell you. Farrah asked me not to."

"Just tell us if it'll hurt her," Sam said.

"No." No more than it has already, thought Cas.

Farrah smiled, returning to her own thoughts. Castiel kept his promise. Oh, she knew it was wrong to eavesdrop, but they didn't have to know she had at least partial control, did they?

Then she realized why the book had stood out to her. How the colors had seemed so much more vibrant than everything else. Sam had been looking at a book of lore, and she'd seen a section with a picture of an angel and a human beneath the title.