The Flames that Engulfed Us

Chapter 18: Gary Broke Us

As Lincoln's arms wrapped around me, I knew it wouldn't be long before he fell asleep.

"Sky," he muttered sleepily, "I love you."

"I love you too, baby."

He was awake a few minutes after that, but as his breathing slowed, as I watched his face relax, there was no doubt that he was asleep. I focused on his breathing, the hypnotic sound lulling me, so I laid easily next to him. I was stronger than him, I knew that, but it still felt safer between his arms.

It had always felt safer between his arms. The way he held me as though I were the most precious thing in his world, the way he treated everything of his as secondary to everything of mine, made me feel safe. It also put me in a debt to him that I wasn't sure I would be able to pay back. I wanted to wake him up, apologize for him being there with me. I wanted to apologize for him dying, to try to correct my own inability to survive.

He was right by the principal's office. He had to have been the first one out. What had gone through his stupid head? Love. He was consumed by love. And love is blind. Blind to the fire and flames.

He had never told me why he got in trouble either. There hadn't ever been a moment to. I had so many plans for lunch that day. It's funny how people will make commitments so easily, they don't think about them. I'm just in hysterics over here thinking about it. Oh, it is just the most laughable thing how people bank on everything going according to plan.

I pressed myself closer into Lincoln. I needed him to talk me out of this. I needed him to tell me that I was perfect. It was selfish, but I needed him to remind me of his devotion to me. I needed him to give because I needed to take.

I spent all night hating myself for that. I stayed right there, cuddled up into him, loathing myself for that. I told him I loved him, and I did, with everything I had, but why did I need so much from him?

Hours passed at the same rate as days, and the night stretched on forever. Only the abrupt opening of the door signaled the morning. I nudged Lincoln awake, but the noise of the door had already done most of the work for me. I opened my mouth to say all the things that I'd despised that I wanted to say, but as I craned to look into his eyes, and as I saw them, everything dissipated.

He was enough. And I was just a stupid girl whose thoughts moved too fast for the rest of her. I didn't need anything from him other than the way those beautiful eyes focused on me, seemed blind to everything but me.

"Lincoln," I whispered, "I love you. I don't know why, but I just feel like I need to say that. I love you."

Footsteps echoed through the gym. My stomach started to knot, and I pulled myself further into him.

"You already know that I love you too."

The sound was coming closer to us, and for some reason, I was terrified of it. I could feel the way it was cold. I could feel Gary moving towards me, and that made me want to scream and run away, but it made my body frozen and numb.

Lincoln noticed. "Nothing's going to hurt you."

He couldn't even make himself sound sure. He knew just as well that Gary could hurt me. He just didn't know how much. I was praying to whatever god there was in that place that he would never find out.

Thud, thud, thud. I saw the shiny black boots. They were just in front of my face, uncomfortably close as I straightened my neck, looking away from Lincoln. Gary had changed clothes. He wore a suit, dull black, with a white shirt, and red tie. He was still as featureless as ever, but this time I felt true horror. I couldn't think.