The Flames that Engulfed Us

Chapter 51: Explanations

"Sky? Are you awake?"

"No. I'm just staring at you in my sleep."

"Did I ever tell you that you have really pretty eyes? I mean, the light hits them and they're this beautiful brownish color, but then there's green in them too. Sort of like the mud that has plants in it."

"And your eyes don't have any vegetation at all." I tutted, grinning as his face split into a huge smile.

"Good morning. Did you get any sleep last night?"

"Nope," I answered. "And you have beautiful eyes too."

"You know, it would be kind of nice to have you fall asleep in my arms."

"But then I wouldn't get to hear you talk in your sleep."

"I don't talk in my sleep."

"You did last night."

"What did I say?"

"That I wanted to get a duck and you had no idea where we'd be able to keep it."

"Huh. That's weird. I love you Sky, but a duck?"

"You're the one with the dream, weirdo."

"I don't remember anything about a duck."

I'd rolled over, so our faces were inches apart, and I closed the distance, quickly pecking him on the lips. He wrapped his arms around me again, his hair out of place, standing up so it was rough and soft. I ran my fingers over it, and he pulled my hands gently off.

"I know it looks bad," he mumbled, "but don't mess it up more. Please?"

"Whatever you want. You look cute with it like that."

He chuckled. "Do you have any idea what time it is?"

I squinted at an old clock on the wall. "9:00."

"am or pm?"

"I don't know. It's not that kind of clock. This place is too fancy for a digital clock like that."

"This place is fancy, huh. I don't know what's going to happen. The Devil's a wildcard, and I don't know..."

"Neither do I, but he seemed like he was interested in keeping us around at least. He gave you food. It smelled like it was good food too."

"It's a shame you're never hungry anymore. He'd have had you in a minute with all that food."

"I ate in heaven. They had every flavor of ice cream you could imagine up there, Lincoln."

"That sounds nice," he whispered, his thumb rubbing along my cheek.

"I slept too," I whispered. "And there were books too. So many books. I have a stack I thought you'd like. You'll have to read them sometime. I do think you'd enjoy them."

"Really? You thought about me?"

"Yeah. Of course, I did."

"I thought he made you forget about me."

"He tried. Nothing could make me forget you."

He reached over to the nightstand, and I hadn't seen him put the picture there, but he must have because he pulled it over. "Where'd you get this?"

"The Devil gave it to me. I have the other half," I said, reaching in my pocket to hold the other part to his. We both smiled at the completed thing.

"I don't understand him. He's nice, but then also the meanest person I've ever met. He scares me, Sky."

"He's the Devil. He's not meant to be a unicorn who poops rainbow froyo."

"No, but he still did give you rainbow froyo."

"Heaven doesn't have froyo. Just ice cream."

"You would know," he smiled. "After a year, I would think you'd know all the ins and outs."

"Lincoln," I said, my voice wavering. "It wasn't a year for me. It was a few months the first time and a few hours the second."

"Sky..."

"I just wanted you to know that. I never meant to leave you for any amount of time let alone a year."

"I don't blame you if you had meant to. A few months. I wish it'd only been that long for me. I missed you. I didn't know how much I'd miss you."

"I—"

"It's lucky we don't age. That would have been awkward," he said, talking fast and without any emotion like he did when he was upset. "I mean, you'd be beautiful no matter what, but I'd probably have a beard and you'd come back and be like, argh. And then I would've just been like, well, there goes that. And then I'd have never grown a beard again. I mean, imagine how many more books you would've read if you'd had three and a half years. I swear this whole thing's just meant to..."

He stopped. It was as though someone had just flipped a switch and his voice cracked, and he looked like the emotion had caught up with him.

"Lincoln, don't finish that thought."

"Meant to" he was choking the words out, dropping an F-bomb, "with me."

"Lin—"

"I don't know how much more I can take," he whispered, sounding so close to the edge. I hugged him tightly, letting the picture fall where it may. I wrapped my arms around him, as though that'd hold him together. He buried his head in my hair, and suddenly, it dawned on me that he really did need me. It wasn't just him that was a part of me.

I didn't have the words. He sniffled, seeming as though he was barely holding in tears.

"I didn't know how—" I did need to get him to stop swearing, "much I need you. I'm sorry that I was too weak, Sky. It kills me that I'm not strong enough here. And I called high school hell. At least there, I could break a few noses until everyone was too afraid to mess with you."

"You are strong enough." I was saying all I could think of to say. "You've always been strong enough. The fact that you're here right now took strength."

He pulled back, and the look on his face was enough to make my heart shatter. The tears came running down my face too.

"I'm not." He could barely speak his voice was so tight.

I put my finger to his lips and he sank into the bed. We wrapped ourselves in each other. It hurt me to see him, to feel him like that, and it hurt to know that I was at least contributing to some of it.

We'd both stopped by the time the door clicked as the lock turned. I looked at the clock. Its hands proudly told me that it was exactly 11:55.