Troian Bellisario Adopted Me

Chapter 15

   "Mom, er, sorry. I mean Troian. Can I sleep with you tonight?" I asked sheepishly. Troian smiles at me sympathetically.
   "Babe, you can call me Mom. And you don't even have to ask to sleep with me. You're my baby girl, you can always sleep with me." Mom, I guess, tells me. After that, we head downstairs to eat.
  My breathing quickens as I see the food. On my plate there is simply a salad with light dressing. A glass of water sits next to my plate.
   "Okay, baby, eat."Mom tells me. Tears brim my eyes as I pick up the fork. I stab a piece of lettuce. Slowly, I chew, ignoring my demons.
  An hour later, I finish. My stomach feels bloated and I dash upstairs to purge. I can hear Mom shouting my name. I lean over the toilet and stick my toothbrush down my throat. The food comes up until blood and bile is all that is left. The acid burns my throat.
    My last blade is taped under the carpet next to the shower. I pull it up and slide my shirt up until my hip is exposed. I press the blade down on the flesh, watching as the blood comes up. After a few slashes, I clean up and go back to Mom's room.
    She lays under the covers, obviously in tears."Momma. I'm sorry. They were too loud. I was too weak." I say. Mom turns over to face me.
    "I know. It's okay. I'm just afraid I'm not good enough of a mom for you. We just have to get you better, I hate seeing you like this." Mom sobs.
  "No, mom. You're new at this. Let's just go to sleep." I slide into bed with Mom. She wraps her arms around me and I rest my head on her chest, enjoying the comfort of her scent."Momma? Are you going to leave me? Like all the others?"

  Mom takes a deep breath. Tears suddenly spring to my eyes. She's hesitating. I jump up out of the bed."You're gonna leave me,too, aren't you!" I shout. Mom gets up. She reaches her hand out.

  She's going to hit you! 

   She never really cared!

 We told you that she'd leave you! 

 Who wants a filthy whore who was desperate enough to do it with her own dad!

You need to just shut up! You know he raped me!

But you let him!

 I collapse to the floor, air not making it to my lungs. I lay gasping for air on Mom's carpet. I begin to cough. I look at what flew out of my mouth:blood.