11) All The Drugs

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Brendon's POV

What the fuck am I doing? Why the fuck am I hear right now? Sitting in a crappy hotel bedroom when I could be in a nice hotel like the rest of my band mates. I'm sitting in front of a TV that can only play static. Sitting on a dirty bet that looks like it has been through rapes and murders. A pile of pills and drugs sitting besides me. A bottle of whisky. A bottle of vodka. Both half empty. How the fuck did I get here? Why the fuck am I here? WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO? I look over at the drugs, where the fuck did they go? I look over at the alcohol, where the fuck did that go? Where the fuck am I? FUCK! Who's the funny man in the fedora crying? I hope he is ok. Maybe I could comfort him. I try to stand but can't. That's weird. I guess it's bed time, the lights are going out now.

2 hours before

I feel horrible for yelling at Dallon. He hasn't done anything wrong, it's just that I'm so pissed off at the world. I know I shouldn't take it out on him. My heart is being slowly torn apart and it's the most painful thing in the world. This is the worst pain I've ever felt and I've broken my ankle and continued to play a show. I just don't want to feel this pain anymore. I want to stuff my face with alcohol and drugs. Zach confiscated all my good stuff after I almost ODed last time. I need to get some more if I want my pain to go away. Now don't get me wrong, I don't want to OD or anything I just want the pain to be numbed for awhile.  I gather my things and call an Uber.

"What are you doing Brendon?" A familiar voice calls after me.

"Jesus fucking Christ you scared me.  How the fuck did you get in here Patrick."  I'm scared half to death and seriously confused.  I'm completely sober so I can't be imagining this.  "Are you stalking me or something.  There is no way you just walked in here without me knowing." I get ready to call security.

"What!  No I'm not stalking you." He says visibly nervous.

"I'm going to uh call security now." I reach for my phone.

"What! N-no let me explain!"  He freaks out.

"You have two minutes.  Only because I owe you for helping me that one night." I say staying on my guard. 

"Well, this is going to sound crazy but, uh I'm you guardian angel." He says calmly.

"Your my what?"  Now I'm just even more confused. 

"Well everyone gets assigned a guardian angel at birth.  Now something happened to your original angel but I'm here now to help you through life."  He says trying to stand tall and sound confident.

"So you like save me from dying and stuff?" I ask.

"Not exactly.  That's what fictional angels do, real angel just help guide you through life.  Help you make good decision and give you advice."  He now has an ear to ear smile. "But I suppose I could save your life by like calling the cops or something."

"Prove it."

"How?"

"I don't know just do some angel shit."

"Umm alright."  He thinks for a moment before an idea is spread across his face.  All of a sudden there is a beautiful glow coming from him. Huge majestic pure white wings spread out from his back, a halo above his head appears and he starts to float a few feet above the ground. 

"Well, shit." I simply say completely dumb founded.  As quickly as the angelic features appeared they disappeared.  Once the shock wears off I remember what I was going to do before I was interrupted.  I grab my things and start to head out the door.  I get a notification that my Uber is here and quickly head out.  I take a glance behind me and see Patrick following behind me.

"Hey wait up were are you going?"  He tries his best to keep up with my fast pace.

"I'll explain in the car."  I suddenly stop and turn around.  "Wait can other people see you?"

"If I want them to." He answers with a confused look.

"Good do that, I don't want to look crazy." I smile and continue speeding to the Uber.  We get in the car and I tell the driver where to go.  I know there is this crappy hotel nearby and the owners son sells some of the best drugs.  He's always hanging around there to find some costumers and I'm sure he will have some kind of alcohol he can part ways with.  I'm not really picky at this point. 

"So can you explain what your doing now?"  Patrick asks sounding a bit irritated.

"Alright Mr.Grump.  Ha see what I did there?" I start cracking up.  He finds it less amusing.

"Just tell me already." He snaps a bit.

"Alright alright, I'm going to a hotel to get some good rest away from Dallon and all the other band people." I simply state and it's not a complete lie, I do want to rest away from Dallon.

"For some reason I don't believe that's the full story." He rolls his eyes.  I just shrug my shoulders.  I scroll through my phone the entire ride trying to distract myself from the pain in my chest.  The pain of my soul being shredded to tiny, microscopic pieces.  The car ride seems like it lasted an eternity but I'm relived when we arrive at a familiar run down hotel.  I pay the driver and get out of the car. 

"Thanks Pete!" Patrick says in a high pitch voice as he gets out of the car. 

I get the drugs and alcohol from the guy and have a quick conversation with him.  I check into the hotel room and get settled.  The entire time Patrick is on my heals with an unsettled look on his face.  I lay down on the grimy bed and stare at the ceiling.

"So what exactly are your plans Brendon?" His voice is unsteady and nervous.  "You know all of this can kill you?" 

"I know, I'm not going to use all of it.  Just enough to make me feel better." I don't move my gaze from the cracked ceiling.

"Brendon this isn't going to make you feel better."  He simply states and I start with the vodka.

"Oh don't act all high and mighty over there.  I get that your an angel but you don't understand what helps me and what doesn't."  Who knew angels could be so annoying. 

"Please be smart Brendon.  Your making a grave mistake." He beings pleading for me to stop as I swallow the first pill and wash it down with a gulp of whiskey.  For the next hour Patrick does everything in his power to get me to stop as the drugs disappear and alcohol flows.  My memory fades, things become unclear and the last thing I remember is hearing a strange man in a fedora crying.

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