14) The Bad,

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Patrick's POV

"I just don't think I'm cut out for this Pete. He almost died right in front of me." I cry into Pete's chest.

"But he didn't die. He's still breathing, living, and is going to continue needing your help. You graduated top of the class. You got this a thousand times over." Pete rubs my back as I hug him even tighter.

"I can't do this, I should just tell the saints that this assignment is too difficult for a first time angel.  Brendon has been without an angel before, he will be fine without me.  Actually he will be better without me."  Pete's chest muffles my words but he's used to listening through my tears. 

"Hey, don't say that."  He pulls me off of him so he can look me in the eyes.  "Brendon needs you.  If the saints thought you couldn't handle this then they wouldn't have assigned Brendon to you.  When was the last time you saw him."

"About five days ago."  I sniffle trying to calm down.

"Patrick Martin Stump, you know that's way to long to leave him alone.  You have to check up on humans at least every other day."  Pete scolds me and it makes my want to cry again.  He realizes the tears brimming my eyes again so he pulls me into a tight hug.  "My point is you need to at least check on Brendon.  You don't need to show yourself or talk to him, just check up on him.  Please, can you do that for me?" 

I nod my head yes into his chest.  I really don't want to see Brendon at all.  How can I face him after failing him?  I know Brendon has told me it's not my fault but he's just telling me that to be nice.  I just know that deep down inside he hates me now.  I stay hugging Pete for awhile and loose track of time.  Once my breathing evens out and my eyes stop flooding I pull away from Pete and lay down on the bed.

"Are you feeling any better?" He asks as I pull the blanket over me and rolling into a ball.  I shake my head no and close my eyes.  "I'm sorry about that but you need to see him tomorrow.  I can go with you if it would make you feel better."

I nod my head yes and he placed a soft kiss on my forehead.  "I'm going to get ready for bed.  Try and be asleep before I'm ready.  I know your lying when you tell me you have been sleeping fine."

I hear him walk away and into our bathroom.  He's right I haven't been able to sleep since, well the accident.  I don't want to sleep anyways because angels are forced to dream about what they are worried about.  We use sleep as another way to solve problems but I don't even want to face Brendon in my dreams.  I have been successful in staying away by drinking lots of caffeine but tonight I'm just so tired.  I just need to stay awake till Pete falls asleep then I can sneak into the kitchen and get some coffee.  I would even drink a gross Red Bull if it meant staying awake.  My body has other plans for me tonight.  I feel my body falling a victim to the sandman.  My eyes get glued shut and my brain walks closer to dreamland.  I try my best to fight it but everything is tired and heavy.  I loose the fight against my dreams and fall asleep. 

Suddenly I'm in Brendon's house and Brendon is sitting on his couch watching TV.  I take a deep breath in before speaking "Hey Brendon how have you been?"

"Fuck off Patrick!"  He yells at me without even looking at me. 

"W-what do you mean?  W-what did I do wrong?"  I try to stay calm but I'm terrified. 

He stands up and walks over to me.  He towers above me and stares at me.  "What did you do wrong?  Are you serious asking that?  You let me almost die and then abandoned me.  I needed you desperately.  How could you do this to me?  This is your fault." He yells at me and I don't know how to respond.  I just stare at him mortified.

"I-I'm s-so sorry." I simply say looking at the ground.

"Sorry isn't enough.  I could be dead right now and you don't give a fuck."  He says shoving me and I fall.  I sit on the ground looking up at Brendon's angry face. 

"Brendon, I do care I promise." I'm shaking and I try my best to remind myself it's only a dream.  What if it's not a dream, it feels so real, what if this is real?  I can't mess up again. 

"I never want to see you ever again.  Stay out of my life forever you little devil." He starts to walk away from me.

"What Brendon no I'm here to help.  I'm an angel, I proved to you that I'm an angel.  You have to believe me Brendon.  Please Brendon!  Please!"  He turns around looking even more pissed off then before.

"I will never believe a word that comes out of your mouth.  You are a worthless devil and you will never be more than that." He says getting really close to my face.  I flinch at every word and want to cry when he calls me a devil again. 

I jolt awake as a swing from Brendon's fist is about to hit me square in the face.  I sit up sweating and shaking from my nightmare.  I look to my side and see Pete peacefully sleeping.  I start to silently cry into my heads.  I'm so relieved that it all was just a dream but I'm once again meet with the fear of what will happen when I really see Brendon.  What if that nightmare becomes reality?  What if I do just become Brendon's demon?  I can't let that happen.

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