Idk how but he found me (Brallon)

28) Dear Future Self

Ryan's POV

I pace up and down the corridor outside of Pete's apartment.  I shouldn't be nervous to talk to him but I am.  I'm not really sure what I'm going to say to him.  I don't even know why I have to talk to him.  I stop in front of his door and take a final deep breath before knocking.  I hit my fist against the door two times before it swings open.

Pete looks worse than the last time I saw him. He has massive dark bags under his eyes, his eyes are slightly bloodshot from the lack of sleep and he's hunched over like he's carrying a bag of rocks on his back.

"Ryan." His voice is dry and crackly. It sounds as if someone has been rubbing the back of his throat with sand paper. I can hardly even recognize it as his own voice.

"Hey Pete, can I come in?" I ask trying to keep my voice from sounding worried. Without a word he moves aside and I walk in.

His apartment is spotless clean. There isn't a speck of dirt to be seen. It looks like Pete has been obsessing over every spot of grime to make the house look as if nobody even lived here.

"I see you've been cleaning." I say with a forced smile.

"I guess I have been a little. I just want it to look good for when Patrick gets here." The same tired voice speaks.

"Pete you need to start taking care of yourself, get some sleep, take a shower, or at least put a change of clothes on." He's wearing the same outfit as last time I saw him and they do not look like they have left his body.

"I'm fine Ryan. Don't worry about me." He says as he sits down on the couch. "Do you have any news about Patrick yet?"

"I don't know, maybe." I say starting to pace around the room.

"What do you mean maybe." His voice suddenly sounds back to normal and his eyes light up.

"Dallon wants you, Brendon and I to all meet up after the concert. I don't know what it's about so don't get your hopes up, but I think Patrick has something to do with it." Pete jumps up as soon as I finish my sentence.

"I bet Trick is going to be their! I bet he set this whole thing up!" He's jumping up and down like a little kid.

"Slow down, Dallon didn't say Patrick was going to be their. Please don't get your hopes up because I don't want you to be crushed if he's not." I try to reason with him and calm him down. He acknowledges me with a nod but ignores what I said. He continues to get excited and rehearsing what he plans on saying to Patrick.

"Can you at least promise me you will be there?" I ask.

"Of course would not miss seeing my Patrick for the world." A huge smile emerges on his face. 

"Well you should take a shower because you should look nice for Patrick."  I say trying to make some good out of his excitement.

"Your right I'm going to do that right now."  He starts to run off towards his room.

"And you should eat something heathy!" I yell after him.

"Okay!"  He yells through the bedroom door.

It's great that Pete is excited but he's going to be crushed if Patrick isn't there.  I sure as hell hope Patrick shows up ten times more than before.  I take a look at the time and see that I should be getting ready for the show right now.  I glance over at the closed bedroom door and behind it I can hear the muffled sounds of water.  I think Pete will be fine if I leave.  I hope Pete will be fine if I leave.  I don't really have a choice I have to leave.  God I hope tonight goes well for Pete's sake.

I walk down the venue corridors trying to remember where my green room is. As I walk I pass Brendon who doesn't even look up or even acknowledge my existence. It's weird for Brendon to not a least give me a death stare or a fake friendly "hi" at least.

"Hey Brendon." I decide to say hi hoping he's in a good enough mood to help me find my room. He quickly looks up at me then back at the ground.

"Oh hey Ryan." His voice is raspy. I only get a quick glimpse of his face but I could swear that his eyes are puffy and red as if he's been crying.

"Are you okay B, it looks like you've been crying."  I ask.  Even though Brendon is an ass I don't want to see him upset like this. 

"Yeah Ryan I'm just peachy." He sarcastically states keeping his eye glued to the ground.  He makes it so hard to be nice to him.

"Whatever, Brendon I don't understand why you have to always be this way.  Can you just tell me what way my green room is?" I sigh.  I'm honestly just too tired to deal with Brendon's attitude.  I already have to take care of Pete and Dallon.

"I'm sorry Ryan, I really am.  I know I say that a lot but I mean it.  I honestly don't know why I'm always such a dick to you." He apologizes staring at his feet as he kicks them.  He sighs.  "I'm so so sorry."  He looks up at me and I get a clear look at his face.  His cheeks are stained from the tears that raced down his face and his eyes are puffy and pink.  The rest of his face is pale and his eyes look empty.  He seems lost like he has no clue who he is. 

"It's fine Bren, just tell me what's happening."  I can see fresh tears welling up in his eyes.  He bites his lip trying to hold back the tears.  I can tell he is doing his best not to cry in front of me but a single tear escapes.  It slowly falls down his cheek and soon after it falls off his chin many more follow.  Within seconds after the first tear he is fully sobbing.  I rap Brendon into a tight hug.  I was half expecting him to immediately push me away but to my surprise he raps his arms around me tightly.

"It's going to be okay Bren." I try to comfort him.  He tightens his grip around me.

"But what about Patrick he's going to be gone forever if I don't see him soon and it's all my fault." He stumbles out between sobs. 

"That's not your fault and Trick will be fine.  Don't worry about Patrick." I continue to comfort.  His cries grow harder and his grip grows tighter.  We sit on the floor against the wall and he curls up in to my side.  I can feel the stress of everything building up in my throat.  It feels like my throat is closing and I can't breath.  Suddenly my cheeks are soaked with tears and I'm sobbing just like Brendon.  I just want everything and everyone to be okay again.

Dear future self, don't introduce your human into other angels especially if that angle is your humans best friend's angle.  I wish I could be drunk on cheap whisky in an airport hotel right now.