24) Going Down

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Dallon's POV

Ryan and I arrive at the venue and I'm so excited.  I love preforming so much and I get to see Brendon again.  We are sitting in our dressing rooms waiting for soundcheck.  I wonder if Brendon is around, maybe I'll bump into him if I explore around the venue a bit.  I get up and start walking towards the door.

"Hey where are you going?"  Ryan asks.

"I'm going to look around the venue." I say without looking back. 

"I'm coming too." He gets up and catches up with me. 

We walk around the halls in silence.  We haven't talked much since what happened yesterday.  It's not like either of us are mad at the other, it's just awkward. We walk through the halls of the venue just exploring in silence.

"Where were you this morning, you were running late?" I ask trying to shove away the awkwardness.

"Oh I just over slept." He says looking away from me.  I can tell that there is definitely something else going on but I don't want to get in another fight.  We continue to walk around in silence again.  After about 10 minutes I get tired of aimlessly walk so we start to head back to our dressing room.  As we pass Brendon's room the door opens.  I'm slightly startled by Brendon coming out of the door.

"Oh hey Brendon you scared me."  I say giggling a bit.

"Hey Dallon."  He seems nervous as he rubs the back of his neck.

"How have you been?" I ask.  He looks over at Ryan and gives him a death stare.

"Fine, everything has been great." He says without tearing his eyes away from Ryan.

"Are you sure?  Are you okay Brendon?  I feel like you are definitely lying." I say a bit nervous of how he might react.

Brendon starts laugh.  I'm extremely confused, what the hell is going on?  "Well Dallon I'm not the only one here that has been lying to you.  Except this one over here has been lying for a lot longer than I have." He points to Ryan and gives him a face of disgust.  "If I were you I would be careful of him." 

I realize that Brendon is talking a bit funny and that is when the smell hits me.  He smells like he spilt a gallon of vodka and rum all over himself.  Brendon is completely wasted only a few hours before the show.  I sigh "Brendon what are you saying.  You are speaking out of your ass right now."

"Well I might be a little tipsy but I'm telling you the truth, you can't trust Ryan.  He's not what you think he is."  He says and then stumbles past us.  "Now I'm going to find somewhere that I can throw up in."

"What the fuck was he on about Ryan?"  I turn to Ryan who's face looks shocked. 

"What do you mean?  He's clearly drunk, you can't trust a word he says right now.  You were right he's just speaking out of his ass." He try's to sound calm but I can hear the slight panic behind his voice.

"Drunk Brendon does speak nonsense but there is always some truth behind that nonsense.  So explain to me why he is saying you are lying to me and that I can't trust you." I start to get irritated.  "You were lying to me yesterday and now I'm being told that I can't trust you.  What the fuck is going on Ryan." 

"Dallon I swear nothing is going on.  I'm not lying to you."  He try's to calm me down.

"There you go another lie."  I sigh.  "I don't want to deal with this right now.  I'm going to make sure Brendon doesn't accidentally kill himself."  I storm off down the hall in the direction Brendon went.

I find Brendon sitting against a wall in a woman's bathroom singing some random song I've never heard of.  I sit down on the floor next to Brendon and listen to him sing.  Once he finishes the song I give him a disappointed look.

"What was my singing bad?"  He sadly asks.

"No it was amazing as usual.  I'm disappointed because you know you have to go onstage in a few hours."  He hangs his head realizing his mistake. 

"I'm sorry Dally."  He doesn't look at me.

"I know you didn't mean to get this drunk but you better find a way to sober up fast."  I say putting my arm around his shoulders.

"I'm not just sorry for being a drunk ass. I'm sorry for pushing you away.  I'm really sorry." He seems sincere but I know he's only saying that because he's drunk.

"That's just drunk Brendon talking, drunk Brendon loves to apologize." I say laughing a little.  "Come on let's try to sober you up."  I help him off the floor and I help him to walk so he doesn't break something.

"I'll tell sober Brendon to apologize as well but first we need to find him.  We are playing hid and seek."  He says and I laugh at how ridiculous he is.

The next time I see Ryan is onstage preforming.  I do my best to put my feeling aside and focus on the music. I do my best but it's hard to be really cheerful onstage when I really just want to curl up in bed because of how shitty I feel.  The show didn't go to bad but I didn't joke as much as I usually do and when I looked over at Ryan he wasn't smiling as much a he usually does.  I feel horrible, I rarely ever see Ryan in a bad mood and knowing that I put him in this rare mood is gut wrenching.  It's not all my fault though if he would just tell me the truth then everything could just go back to normal.  Right? 

Once we get off stage I expect Ryan to try and talk to me but instead he just walks straight into our dressing room.  He walks down the hall with his head down staring at the ground.  This makes me feel even more miserable.  I hope to god that one thing could go right to day, I hope Brendon is sober enough to not screw up his set.  To my disappointment when I see Brendon in the hall he is stumbling and looks worse than before. 

"What the fuck Brendon did you get even drunker during the 40 minutes I was on stage."  I scream at him in the middle of the hall.

"I only had one good luck shot, don't worry Dal." He slurs his words.

"That's the most bs I've ever heard.  Whatever you can fuck up your reputation if you want to." I storm down the hall and out of the venue.  I find a security guard and tell him to get someone to let Brendon know I'm not going to preform a song with him tonight. 

I call an Uber to a hotel and get a room and lay on the bed in the silent room alone.  I lay there staring at the ceiling.  My brain is completely silent not even knowing how to comprehend the past two days.  I just want to sleep the days away and let everything heal on its own.  Sadly the universe has other plans for me and can't seem to leave me alone. 

There is a sudden and frantic knock at the hotel door.  I assume that it is Ryan or Brendon and I don't want to deal with either of them so I just continue to lay on the bed.  They knock about three more times before I hear a voice behind the door.  It's a voice I recognize but not the voice I expect.


A/N

I got to see IDKHOW last night and omg it was the best show I have ever seen.  If you ever get a chance to see them you should.  Dallon and Ryan are just amazing on stage.  I took the picture up top at the concert last night and I thought it was a pretty cool pic so I wanted to share it.   It has no filters on it the lights just made Dallon look like that. 

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