After the Honeymoon: A fifty shades fan fiction

Chapter 13

Christian POV

Drinking the wine the way she did was quite foolish. I looked over at her as i drove down the late night streets of Seattle. I liked to be a dominent. I wanted Ana to be my submissive but i was no rapist. I looked over at her body in the passenger's seat lying in a heap. She needed to sleep and think things through. If our relationship was meant to be she would come back to me. I wanted my wife to be a willing participant in our sexual escapades. With everything that she knows about me, every instinct would be to run. I was hoping that she give this another chance for love's sake. I knew that on the outside things my look perfect but I wasn't exactly husband material. I was exhausted too. The motion of the car seemed to put Ana to sleep. I pulled up in front of Kate and Elliot's large victorian home. Kate was very protective of her best friend. What would she say when she saw the state that Ana was in. I felt a wave of embarrassment as I pictured Kate and Elliot's reaction to seeing Ana barely conscious. She was exhausted but rousable.

"Ana!"I whispered "You're home."

"Am I?" She asked

"We are in front of Kate and Elliot's house." I said

"Thank you Christian!" She said

She slowly started to move her hands and feet as though to breath life back into the appendages. I got out of the driver's seat and picked Ana out of the passenger seat of the car. I picked her up like I was walking her over the threshold and proceeded to walk up the cold pavement walkway of Kate and Elliot's home. I could not help but kiss her cheek gently on the short walk to the door. I so desperately wanted to smoother her with love but I held back, it wasn't the time. Kate opened the front door before I made it up the steps. Her faced filled with shock and worry.

"What happened?" She asked helping Ana through the front door.

"She drank two full glasses of wine too quick and instantly became drunk. I brought her meal" I explained with shame in my eyes.

"Thank you for bringing her home" Kate said as she walked Ana upstairs to her room

"How was your date with your wife" Elliot said smiling.

"Wish it had gone differently" I answered with vague honesty.

"She'll come around. Love will find a way. You didn't think that marriage was going to be easy i hope" He said.

"You and Kate seem to be doing well" I commented.

"It may seem that way but we are far from perfect" Elliot assured me.

"I'm relatively certain that this will be a temporary arrangement" Elliot answered with a smile.

I placed her small body on the couch trying hard not to disturb her rest. A flood of embarrassment washed over me as I walked back to the front door. There was an awkward presence as I spoke to Elliot. Every party of me wanted to leave. I could see their accusing eyes on me. There was nothing more I could say or do in that situation what was done was done.

She needed time to process the information from this evening. When she was ready she would call me. I felt as though I was pushing things a bit too quickly. As much as I wanted her to be a submissive, I knew she didn't want to live that life. I went through periods of anger because a part of me still wanted to be a dominant. A part of me still felt entitled to the life I used to lead that always seemed to satisfy my twisted sexual desires. The thought of giving up being a dominent brought feeling of grief and loss. This was a practice that I had done for most of my life. I knew that if I wanted to get Ana back I would have to give it up for good but it would be hard.

I drove home feeling defeated. I knew that I had done the right thing. Whether or not that will allow her to trust me more and let her guard down remains to be seen. I definitely felt that this date was a complete bust and did nothing to improve things. I wasn't sure what my next move was going to be but tonight i knew I was sleeping alone again.

Ana POV

The rest of the night seemed like such a blur. Christian helped me into the car. I was far too sick and tired to fight or argue. I was just happy that he was taking care of me instead of taking me back to his red room for some drunken fun. I fell asleep in the front seat of the car. He stopped in front of Kate and Elliot's place and picked my exhausted weak body, carrying me up the concrete steps. I could see the concern and worry on Kate's face when she saw me. Christian gently kissed my cheek as he walked with me in his arms, his lips so warm and loving. How i missed his touch. I felt a sense of love and comfort being in his arms. He placed me on the couch in the living room. He left shortly after, I could feel the embarrassment and awkwardness in the air even through my half drunken haze. She guided me up to my room taking my shoes off and helping me to bed. I laid there motionless, confused and embarrassed. Tears filled my eyes at the realization of what I had done. Kate sat at the base of my bed sensing my need for comfort and reassurance.

"I understand why you did it" She said.

"Do you?" I sobbed.

"Your in a lot of pain. I would want to feel numb too" Kate empathized.

"Makes sense" I agreed.

"I know things have been hard but I see how sincerely he wants to work this out. I still think it's worth fixing" Kate said.

"I do too" I said wiping tears from my eyes.

"This is almost like a first date" Kate said handing me a kleenex.

"Part of me feels as though this is my fault" I said.

"How is this your fault?" Kate demanded.

"I knew what he was like before we married but for some reason I still married him. I thought that these things he desired would pale in comparison to me. I was wrong. So wrong. I don't know if our relationship can survive this" I cried.

"You still love each other, so there is still hope." Kate replied. rubbing my back for comfort.

"I hope so" I replied.

I felt my eyelids getting heavy as our conversation progressed and Kate could see that. She wished me goodnight, pulling the covers up to my ears.